Sobriety
by Alexandria M
Summary: Azzy Thomas a wild child is trying to get her life back on track meets Dean Ambrose a once wild child himself that tamed himself out over the last 10 years. Will Dean Ambrose be able to tame the wild child in Azzy or will Azzy make the wild child in Dean resurface?
1. Sober Up

***Here is my new Dean story. I hope that you like it. :)***

I walk into a school gymnasium and look around as I see a couple people gathered around some sitting in the circle of chairs while others are talking to each other in a group by a table with food on it. I look over and see a guy standing alone by the water machine drinking a cup of water. I smile and make my way over to get a cup of water. "Hey," I say to him.

"Hi," he says, his hair with red tint falls to his cheekbones and his bangs covering his eyes a little but I can still see that he has blue eyes. "I don't think I've ever seen you here before."

"It's my first night," I say as I get a cup of water. "So I take it you've been coming for a while?"

"Probably a few weeks now," he says before taking a sip of water. "I don't come as much as I would like but with my job it keeps me busy."

"Oh," I say. "What do you think about the group?"

"I like it. Everyone is friendly and people care about you. The guy that runs it is a friend of mine. He does well. Have you ever been to a group before?"

"No," I say, "this is the first time I've been to a group. I just went through detox and now I am trying to get my life back on track. I'm only 3 days sober."

"Well, that's a start," he says, "I've been sober for about a while now."

"Congratulations," I say with a smile before taking a sip of water. "So if everyone is so friendly why are you over here by yourself and everyone else is over there?" I ask pointing to the people gathered around the food table.

He shrugs his shoulders and says, "I am a loner. I prefer to be alone."

"I'm sorry if I bothered you," I say.

"No," he says with a smile, "you're fine I don't mind it so if you don't mind me asking what was your drug of choice?"

"Anything you can name, anything that could give me that high," I say, "but my drug of choice was heroin."

"That's a nasty one," he says.

"I know," I say. "It's one of the worst and most addicting drugs a person can get hooked on. What about you?"

"I had a problem with pills. I had a pill popping addiction and an alcohol addiction."

"Pills are pretty addicting too," I say as we start to walk to the circle of chairs. "What made you start coming to these meetings?"

"I almost lost my job but I lost everything outside of work," he says. "I don't like to talk about it much but drugs took my life away from me."

"I know all about that," I say.

We make our way to the circle of chairs. He takes a seat next to me as I sit down. I smile at him as he smiles back at me. Soon everyone else gathers around us and starts to take their seats. I sit waiting for the person in charge of the group to appear but no one comes into the room. I look at my watch and see that it's a little past 6 he is late. The guy beside me picks a notebook up off the floor, puts on a pair of glasses and picks up a pencil. "So how is everyone today?" he asks.

"Good," everyone says but I'm sitting confused. I thought he was part of the group not the one leading it and I thought he told me that he was part of the group but it was his friend that ran it. He looks at me and smiles at me. I give him a half smile back.

"That's good," he says as he starts to go through attendance to see who all is here for the meeting. "I see there is a new member here," he says looking at me before he looks at his notebook. "A-z-z-y? Is that A-zee?" he asks.

"No," I say, "Ah-zee," I say.

"Azzy, I got it," he says, "like Ozzy but with the short A sound," he says as he marks something by my name. "So Azzy, how about you introduce yourself, tell us a little about yourself."

"I'm not sure I want to just yet," I say.

"Everyone has been where you are," he says with a smile. This man is gorgeous and that smile of his is breathtaking. "I know it's hard the first time. I was there too but once you get it out there and you get it out of the way it's a lot easier. Come on, Azzy don't be shy," he says.

"Okay," I say as I stand up. He's right it's better to get it over with. "I'm Azzy," I say as I wave at everyone before they all say hi to me at the same time. "I am 18 years old and I am here because I have a drug problem."

"Welcome, Azzy," says that handsome man that runs the group. I don't remember him telling me his name but I'll find it out later.

"I was probably 12 years old when I started to smoke cigarettes with my friends, 13 years old when I tried marijuana for the first time and as I got older the drugs got harder. I would do anything to get my fix, pills, weed, cocaine, heroin and whatever I could get my hands on. Heroin was my drug of choice. I tried it once and I was hooked on it. I have done things for drugs that I am not proud of and I let drugs control me and ruin my life. I almost died a couple days ago. I dropped of school at 15 and was kicked out at 16 to live out on the streets. They were my life and my home. Drugs were my comfort," I say, "I'm just here to get help." I say before I take a seat.

"Very good, Azzy," he says. "The best thing about that is you realize that you need help and you can't do it on your own. That's why we're here. We're a support group and we support each other. Recovering from an addiction isn't easy it's probably one of the hardest things you'll ever do. There are things that can trigger you to want to use again; stress, depression anything can trigger you to use again but that's why we're here. We're here to find coping methods on how to avoid using again, distractions if you will," he says, "When is the last time you used?" he asks.

"I'm only 3 days sober," I say, "I used 10 days ago and finished detox 4 days ago," I say.

"So you're freshly sober," he says, "which means you haven't even reached your toughest battles yet. The time is going to come when you're going to feel the need or want to use again but there are ways to avoid using. What are some things you like to do?"

"I don't know," I say, "I don't really know anything other than the streets. I mean I used to like to write."

"And that's an outlet you could use to help you stay away from drugs. Whenever you feel the need to use again write something, get lost in your writing get rid of the urge. What else is there?"

"I don't know," I shrug.

"We'll find other ways for you but right now focus on writing when the urge arrives."

"Okay," I say with a smile. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," he says flashing me that gorgeous smile before we move on in the group. A few others tell me their stories of drug use and their road to recovery. We talk about urges and what made us want to use in the first place. I don't really know why I chose to use drugs but when I did it made me feel better, it made me forget all my pain. "Well," he says after the hour and a half pass. "Time is up and we'll have to finish this conversation next week. Remember what we talked about today. We're working on new beginnings and ways to avoid falling into the trap. Everyone have a good couple days and I will see you next week."

After the meeting some people hang around talking to him as I go over to the table to get something to eat. I haven't eaten for 3 days and I am starving. I see the man that is in charge of the meeting excuse himself from talking to a couple of the other women in the group and see him making his way over to me. "So you're in charge of the meeting? Mr. I only come when I can because work keeps me busy," I say with a smile.

He smiles at me and says, "Actually I prefer to be called Dean and I didn't exactly lie. Work does keep me busy but yes I am in charge of the group."

"Dean," I say with a smile. "You could have told me that."

"I didn't want to freak you out or anything," he says. "I don't think you would have been as talkative if I told you I was managing the group. Would you?"

"Probably not," I say with a smile as his blue eyes meet my hazel eyes.

"I didn't think so," he says with a smile, "besides I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to get to know you a little bit before group started. I am intrigued by your story. I want to get to know more about you," he says pulling out a card from his pocket. "I know I probably shouldn't do this but I would like to talk to you outside of group, get to know you and get to know your story."

"There isn't really much to know," I say as he writes a phone number onto the back of the card.

"I'm sure there is," he says handing me the card. "The front of the card is my business number but the number on the back is my cell phone number. If you ever want to talk or you ever need to talk or you feel like telling me your story you can give me a call any time."

"Thanks but I really don't have a phone," I say handing it back to him.

"Oh," he says with disappointment. "I didn't know."

"It's fine," I say. "Look, if you want to talk or you want to get to know me we can go out for coffee or something whatever people do to get to know each other."

"That sounds like a plan," he says, "I don't go back to work until Saturday would you like to meet up tomorrow morning and have some coffee. It's not a date or anything it's just so we can talk privately and get to know each other."

"Sure," I say with a smile. "I would like that."

"Me too," he says with a smile.

"Dean," says some guy that walks up to him as we are looking into each other's eyes and smiling at one another. He breaks the silence.

"Yeah?" asks Dean snapping us out of thought. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah," he says.

"All right," says Dean just give me a minute.

"Okay," he says before he walks away.

"Sorry that's my brother," he says. "We are going out to have dinner together. You can come if you want," he says.

"No I'm all right," I say. "I think I should get back home. You have fun and I'll see you tomorrow morning?"

"Yeah," he says with a smile, "that coffee shop right down the street."

"I'll see you there what time?"

"Probably about 8."

"See you at 8," I say with a smile. "Have a goodnight."

"You too," he says with a smile before I walk away. I walk out of the gymnasium and make my way down the hallway. I walk out the front door and start my walk in the crisp October air in Cincinnati Ohio to the apartment I am sharing with my best friend till I get back on my feet.

 **DEAN's POINT OF VIEW:**

"I would ask you how your meeting went tonight but I saw how you were smiling with that girl you were talking to," says my older brother Rich. "She was pretty."

"She's beautiful," I say with a smile as I picture Azzy and her beautiful curly brown hair, her natural tanned skin and her beautiful hazel eyes. She's beautiful it makes me wonder how she got caught up in the drug life.

"She's also off limits," he says, "you know you can't date the members of your group. That's a conflict of interest."

"There isn't a rule against it but it is definitely frowned upon. She may be too young for me though."

"How old is she?"

"18," I say.

"She's a baby," he says, "but she is legal. I just don't think it's a good idea to get involved with her."

"I know but we are going out for coffee tomorrow morning."

"Dean," he says.

"It's not a date so relax, Bro, it's just so we can talk and get to know each other. I want to know her story."

"You can't get her story in group? You have to go out alone for coffee with her. I think that's playing with fire, Dean and besides if she's in your group that means she was an addict before. Addicts shouldn't date addicts."

"We're recovering addicts," I say, "and I haven't really touched drugs for 10 years now. I think I'm all right. It took me losing my kids and wife for me to realize I needed help and I got it. 10 years sober. I'm not going back down that road again."

"Well, I don't think it's a good idea. She could bring the wild out in you."

"Bring the wild out in me?" I ask with a laugh, "that's funny. My wild hasn't come out in a long time."

"Well," he says, "she seems like a wild child so don't let her bring the wild out in you because like you said you've been clean for 10 years don't give it up over some wild child."

"You don't even know her," I say.

"I don't have to she had wild in her eyes," he says, "All I am saying is be careful with that one."

"It's just a cup of coffee," I say, "it's not like I'm marrying her."

 ***A/N: Is it a keeper or no? What did you think of Dean and Azzy meeting at group? Do you think it's a good idea for them to go out to get coffee alone? Do you think Azzy has some wild in her that could bring out the wild in Dean? Do you believe Azzy is serious about getting the help she needs? Do you think Dean may have feelings for her that he shouldn't have? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	2. Mixed Up

***Thank-you for everyone that favorited, followed and alerted this story as well as a big thank-you to those that reviewed the story.***

 **DEAN's POINT OF VIEW:**

"Good morning," I say to Azzy as we meet each other outside of the coffee shop.

"Good morning," she says with a smile. She's got a beautiful smile, she's a beautiful girl with the most beautiful hazel green eyes and the perfect light tan skin tone. Her curly dark brown hair is pulled up into a ponytail giving me a better view of her beautiful face. I shouldn't have these feelings for her but I can't help myself. "How are you?" she asks.

"Good, what about you?"

"Pretty good," she says as I open the door for her. She walks in before as she thanks me and I walk in behind her. We make our way to the counter to order our coffee she orders a French vanilla latte while I order myself plain old coffee. We find a table in the shop after the man behind the counter gives us our coffee. I pull her chair out for her to sit down before I take my own seat across from her. She takes a sip of her coffee. "Mmm," she says, "it's been a while."

"Same here," I say, "this is probably the earliest I have been up in months."

"Not an early riser?" she asks as I take a sip of my coffee.

"No," I say, "I never have been. I usually wake up about 11. I'm a night owl."

"Me too," she says with a smile as she looks at me with those beautiful hazel eyes. "I think I only slept 2 hours this morning. I didn't get to bed till 5," she says as she takes off her jean jacket exposing her black crop top and her perfect abs.

"Oh," I say as my eyes are drawn to her midsection. "So," I say snapping myself out of the thoughts running through my mind, "Azzy, that's a different name I never heard it before."

She smiles and says, "I get that a lot. My real name isn't Azzy it's Azalea but everyone just calls me Azzy. They have since I was 5 years old. My mom feels that giving me the name Azalea made me a wild child but it didn't. It's just who I am."

"Azalea is a beautiful name," I say with a smile. "I like it."

"Thanks," she says with a smile. "So have you lived in Cincinnati all your life or did you move here?"

"I was born and raised here. What about you? Are you from Cincinnati?"

"I'm from all over," she says.

"Okay," I say, "so you're from different places?"

"Well, I was born in Knoxville, Tennessee and when I was 4 we moved to Nashville but when my mom and dad kicked me out a couple years ago I just went wherever life took me. I'm a squatter. I just ended up here in Cincinnati. I have a friend here so I am chilling with her till I get back on my feet then I think I am going to go to Los Angeles."

"Oh," I say, "so you were a squatter?"

"Yes," she says. "I had to find a place to stay wherever I could find one. I've been all over."

"Same here," I say, "but I'm not a squatter my job involves some traveling so I spend a lot of time on the road. I spend about 300 days a year out on the road. I pretty much live out of hotels. I think I am on the road more than I am at home."

"Traveling is fun," she says, "I like to travel although I wouldn't call squatting traveling I would call it trying to find a place to stay, finding a place to get my next high stuff like that."

"Did you squat alone or did you squat with a group of people?"

"I squatted with a couple people two guys in particular," she says. "They took care of me and I took care of them," she says but she leaves it at that before she changes the subject. "So what do you do for work?"

"You don't know who I am?" I ask.

"No idea, I just know your name is Dean."

"I like that," I say with a smile.

"Should I know who you are?" she asks before taking a sip of her latte.

"If you watch WWE then yeah you should know who I am but I like that you don't."

"Oh yeah, I don't watch much TV. I don't think I've watched TV since I was 10 years old. I have no interest in watching TV plus when you squat you deal with what you've got and most of the time that's nothing or whatever you can find in the place you're staying."

"So you have no internet, no phone nothing?"

"Well, I have the internet now because of my friend but no I have no phone and no TV. I live a simple life. I don't get the big deal about the internet or whatever else is out there. I hate technology."

"Me too," I say with a smile. "I'm not big on the internet myself. I try to stay away from it as much as I can."

"Smart," she says, "so I am guessing your story is bogus about being addicted a couple months ago right?"

I smile at her before I take a sip of my coffee. "Some of it is bogus," I say, "mainly I have been sober for 10 years not just a couple months."

"Impressive," she says, "what made you start the group?"

"Well, 10 years ago I hit a rough patch in my life. I hit rock bottom. I lost everything that mattered to me," he says. "I was 19 years old with a wife of a couple months and a 3 month old daughter and I had a drug addiction. My wife took my daughter and left. I haven't seen them since because I chose drugs over my family. It was my need to get high and to get that fix. I didn't care about anything else but that. I almost lost my chance to be a professional wrestler too because of my addiction. I knew I needed help and my brother and my parents helped me get into rehab. In fact they pushed me into rehab and that is the best thing they could have done for me. I came out a new man and came out a better man. I cleaned myself up and I wanted to stay clean. I put everything into my wrestling and got addicted to the business that was my outlet. It was what I needed to stay clean, working out, wrestling whatever it kept me clean. I haven't touched a drug since then. I wanted to help other people so once I got into the WWE I decided I was going to give back and make a support group for people dealing with addiction and helping them to figure out ways to stay clean. It's not easy, Azzy but it's worth the hard work."

"I know it's not easy," she says. "I'm struggling already. I'm trying my best. I don't want to be on that path again. I'm trying to better myself."

"Did you try rehab?" I ask.

"No," she says, "I just decided to try out the support group to help me out. I think I can do it. I just need to channel my need for heroin."

"I hear you but that's the hardest drug habit to kick. You should probably look into rehab."

"I'm fine," she says. "I haven't touched the stuff since I almost overdosed."

"Okay," I say. "So was it just heroin?"

"I smoked some marijuana, I popped pills, I did coke," she says, "but I always turned to heroin. I'm not sure why but I just needed it."

"I see. I did the pill popping thing and I did marijuana. I never really got into the hard stuff but the pill popping was enough to ruin my life."

"So you haven't seen your daughter in years?"

"It has been 10 years since I saw her. Her mother isn't going to let me in her life. She doesn't want me there. I've tried but she doesn't want me there so I backed up and I'm letting them live their lives. She doesn't know me and she never will know me."

"Wow," she says. "How do you not resort to using drugs after all that?"

"Because I love my job and drugs aren't a way to solve a problem. They can take the pain away for a while but it only makes the problem bigger. It's not worth turning toward drugs again. I know she's well taken care of and I know she has a guy in her life that she calls daddy. It hurts me that it's not me but I screwed up and I deserved what I got."

"No one deserves to not see their child," she says, "if you're clean I don't understand why you can't see her."

"It's just the way it is," I say. "Drugs can fuck up a life."

"I know," she says. "There's nothing I know better. I have no one in my life because of the choice to do drugs. I don't have a diploma I dropped out of school 2 years ago, my parents kicked me out and don't want anything to do with me. I have nothing and I had nothing. It's crazy because when you're 16 and you have nothing, no place to go or a place to stay you get into some of the craziest things. You do stuff for the money or for the drugs. You trust people you shouldn't trust and you're blinded by their kindness. I've had a rough couple years."

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask.

"No," she says. "I'm embarrassed and I don't think that's a good topic of discussion over coffee. Just know I'm not this innocent lamb. I've seen the streets and everything they have to offer."

"I've been there with the streets," I say, "I came from a good family. I had all the opportunities in my life then I fell into the wrong crowd and I screwed up my life. I dropped out of high school too."

"So we have a lot in common sort of," she says.

"Yes, sort of," I say with a smile as my blue eyes meet her hazel green eyes. "If you don't mind me asking what's your nationality?"

"I am Haitian, Native American Cherokee and Russian," she says. "My mom is half Haitian and half Native American and my dad is from Russia."

"Interesting combination," I say with a smile. "You're really beautiful," I say before I can stop myself. I am not supposed to feel this way toward her. I should have no feelings for her whatsoever but I can't stop myself. She's way too beautiful and sweet to not be attracted to and she has a wild streak in her.

"Thanks," she says with a smile making me smile. "So do you have a girlfriend or anything?"

"No," I say with a smile as I take her hand into mine stroking her thumb with mine. "I'm completely single."

"Me too," she says with a smile.

I take my hand from hers and say, "I can't do this. I can't look at you like this."

"Look at me like what?" she asks.

"Like this, with feelings for you. I can't do it. It's not right," I say.

"You have feelings for me. You don't even know me," she says.

"I'm definitely attracted to you but I shouldn't be. I can't be," I say. "It's against the rules. I'm not supposed to fall for you."

"Okay," she says, "so don't fall for me. I wouldn't be heartbroken, Dean. I get it. And in fact if you knew me you wouldn't want me anyway."

"Why would you say that?" I ask.

"You don't know the stuff I've done and the things I have been forced to do," she says. "You wouldn't want me if you knew about it."

"I doubt that," I say, "You're beautiful and you're smart whatever you did in your past is your past. It doesn't matter now. I just can't have these feelings for you," I say. "It's not right. You came to my group for help not to have me become attracted to you. You don't need this type of thing right now what you need is a friend someone that's going to be there for you and help you."

"You're so confusing," she says. "You're making me confused one minute you're holding my hand calling me beautiful and smart then then next you're saying you can't do this. It's confusing and sending me mix signals."

"I'm sorry," I say. "I have mixed emotions right now. A part of me feels like this is wrong but another part of me feels like it's right. I feel like this is the right thing to do," I say. "I think I am confused. Maybe we should go."

"Maybe we should," she says standing up. "I'll see you at the meeting next week," she says. "Have a good week."

"Azzy," I say standing up as she's getting ready to walk out of the coffee shop. "I'm sorry."

"Dean," she says, "you have nothing to be sorry about. It's fine. I have to go look for a job. I'll see you on Thursday," she says before she walks out of the coffee shop. I grab my coffee and the jacket that she forgot and head back to my apartment so that I can start packing to go back on the road for a couple days.

 **TWO DAYS LATER:**

"Dude, what's up with you?" asks my friend Seth. "Ever since you got into town you've been in a mood. What's up with you?"

"Nothing," I say as we are working out in the gym.

"No," says Roman, "something's up with you, man. I have never seen you this depressed. What's up?"

"Nothing," I say letting out a deep breath as I put my weights down. "I just had an interesting week at home."

"I see," he says, "so what happened that was so interesting?"

"I met a girl," I say.

"And how did that go?"

"I don't know," I say, "it's complicated"

"What's so complicated?" asks Seth. "There is nothing complicated about a girl."

"There is when she's in your Sobriety group."

"So you met her in group?" asks Roman. "I get it. The rules are you don't get involved with someone from group right?"

"Pretty much, I mean there is no set rule in my group about it but as the person running the group is it smart to get involved with someone that is in my group and someone that has a past like me? Is it a good idea?"

"I don't know," says Seth. "You've been clean for a while. How about her?"

"Not that long. She hasn't even hit the roughest part of sobriety yet and I'm scared that if she does she won't be able to handle it and she's going to turn back to drugs. I don't want that for her. I care about her."

"Must be some girl," says Roman. "Are you scared of being with her or are you scared she's going to take you down the path you don't want to be on?"

"I don't know," I say, "I really don't know I wish I had the answer but I don't. I don't think anyone or anything will ever make me use again. I've come too far and worked too hard to turn back to that life. I don't want to live it again. I'm just scared of how I feel about her. The moment I saw her I was attracted to her. She came into group and she just started talking to me. I asked her out for coffee and it was going good until I freaked out."

"You freaked out?" asks Seth. "What did you do?"

"I pretty much said that I couldn't do this and it was wrong for me to be attracted to her. I mean it kind of is. She doesn't need to be involved with anyone right now as she's dealing with her demons and trying to stay sober. As a recovering addict I know what it's like the first few months. I don't want her to become dependent on me. I live way too crazy of a life for that. I don't think it's a good idea to be with her or date her but damn it," I say, "I can't get her out of my mind. All I have done since the other day is think about her. I can't get her off my mind. I don't know what it is about her but I can't stop thinking about her."

"Well," says Seth, "maybe you should give all of this a try. Maybe you should go on a date with her."

"But I don't know if it's a good idea to get involved with someone from my group," I say, "that's the issue or I would have already been on a real date with her and kissed her or whatever else would have happened. I don't want it to get complicated."

"Dean," says Roman. "You've been single for a LONG time and sleeping around with these women on the road is not the way to go. Maybe you need a girl in your life. Maybe this girl from your group would be good for you. I think you should give it a shot. Why not?"

"Because she's in there for help not for me to be with her."

"So if she doesn't want anything to do with you fine but at least give it a shot," says Seth. "I think you should try it out too see what happens, see where it goes."

"All right," I say, "but problem number 2 she's a baby."

"A baby?" asks Roman. "What do you mean?"

"I mean she's a baby she's only 18 years old and I'm 29."

"Damn," he says. "She is a baby."

"Exactly, I have no problem with age but at 18 she is just discovering life not to mention the fact that she is just starting her recovery. At 29 if I'm getting involved with someone I want it forever. I want marriage, I want kids but at 18 she hasn't even gotten to live her life."

"I see your point," says Roman, "And it's a good one. You two are at different stages in your lives but I still think you should give it a shot. It couldn't hurt right?"

"Right," I say, "so I should go for it?"

"I think you should," says Seth.

"Me too," says Roman.

"Okay," I say, "I just hope she doesn't hate me after the other day," I say. Normally I wouldn't get involved with someone from my group because it is a conflict of interest but there is just something special about Azzy that makes it hard for me to stay away from her.

 ***A/N: What did you think of Dean and Azzy having coffee did it go badly? What do you think Azzy is so embarrassed about when it comes to her past? Why do you think Dean is conflicted over his feelings for Azzy? Do you think he should give it a try? Why do you think he finds her so attractive? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	3. Dependent

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much***

The next Thursday I hold my meeting as usual and this time is different. Azzy doesn't even say hi to me. She talks with a few of the guys in the group but avoids talking to me. Even when we are in the meeting she refuses to speak and chooses to sit silently. She won't even look at me and she sits as far away from me as she can. I haven't stopped thinking about her since last week. She's been on my mind the entire time. I don't know what it is about this girl but she has me going crazy. I have taken Seth's and Roman's advice and after the meeting I'm going to ask her out on a date hopefully she'll listen to me or at least acknowledge me. I keep trying to make eye contact with her and I can't take my eyes off her. A couple times I have caught her looking at me but she quickly looks away. It makes me smile.

I dismiss the meeting and as I am making my way to talk to Azzy I am stopped by one of the girls in the group. "Dean," she says.

"Tara, I need just one minute," I say, "Excuse me," I say before I walk away from her to catch up with Azzy. Azzy is on her way out the door and I run to catch up to her. "Azzy wait," I say as I catch her.

"Dean," she says as she looks at me with her hazel eyes. "What do you want?"

"Can we talk please?" I ask.

"I thought we talked enough the other day, Dean."

"Please, Azzy let me explain. Please just hear me out can you give me that much?"

"Fine," she says, "you have 5 minutes," she says crossing her arms.

"Here," I say, "come with me," I say as a couple members from group walk out the door and look at us. "Let's talk privately."

"All right," she says as we walk to a corner of the hallway where no one can hear us. "What is going on, Dean?"

"Look, I'm sorry about the other day. I was kind of a jerk to you and I'm sorry for that. You didn't deserve that."

"I wouldn't say you were a jerk. I've known jerks and you don't fall into that category. You were more like an idiot but hey that's just my opinion."

"I love your smart mouth, Azzy," I say with a smile.

"What do you want, Dean?" she asks.

"All right, sorry," I start to say. "I am really sorry about the other day. It's just I'm confused about this whole thing with you. I am attracted to you and I know it's wrong for me to be attracted to you like this but damn it I can't help myself. You're beautiful and you seem like an amazing woman. I have been thinking about you since Friday morning. I couldn't get you off my mind. You're always on it. Azzy, I don't know what it is about you but I can't keep myself away from you. I don't care if this is wrong. I know what I want and I want you. I need you for whatever reason," I say. "I was trying to rationalize my feelings for you but there is no rationalizing. I like you and I want to get to know you more. I want to spend more time with you outside of group and talk to you every day. I wish I could see you every day but I can't but I want to see you as much as I can outside of group. I wanted to know if you would like to go out on a date with me tomorrow? Would you be interested in going out on a date?"

"I don't know, Dean," she says with a smirk. "Isn't dating against the rules?"

"Fuck the rules, Azzy," I say. "I know what I want and I know I want you so what do you say? Do you want to go out on a date with me or not?"

She smiles at me and uncrosses her arms. "A guy that doesn't care about the rules," she says. "I think I like you. I'll go on a date with you, Dean, but I don't' want any of that mixed signal bullshit or any of that I want you but can't have you bullshit it's either you want me or you don't. I don't have time for games."

"No games," I say with a smile. Her smart mouth is a turn on for me. She's sassy and I like it. She knows what she wants and she's going to get it. A woman after my own heart, "I promise," I say.

"I don't do promises," she says, "but okay."

"So we're on for tomorrow night? Where do you live? I can pick you up." She gives me the information and I put it into my phone. "So I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"See you tomorrow," she says with a smile before she walks away and I can't help but to watch her leave. She stops at the door and smiles at me before I smile back at her. She's beautiful and that mouth of hers, she's assertive and I like it.

The next evening I take some time to get ready so that I can make our first date with each other perfect. I throw on a pair of faded blue jeans and a black button down shirt over my white wife beater. I brush my hair quickly before I shave the stubble forming on my face. I spray on some cologne before I check myself in the mirror and I am on my way to pick up Azzy. I arrive at the address she gave me. The neighborhood doesn't look that safe as I pull up in front of the rundown apartment building. There is a group of people hanging out front of the building and in front of the other apartment buildings. I get out of my car and make my way to the door of her building. Walking inside it doesn't look much better. The inside is pretty rundown too and I make my way up the stairs to her apartment. Passing people on the stairs as they look at me and I look back at them. I make it to her door and knock on it. The door opens and a girl is standing there with a baby on her hip and not wearing much. Her shorts are short and her shirt is cut to below her chest. "Can I help you?" she asks. "Look, we ain't do nothing wrong," she says.

"Um is Azzy here, I'm here to pick her up for a date."

"Azzy!" she yells, "Your date is here," yells.

"I'll be there in a minute."

"She's coming," she says as she leaves the door open and walks away with her baby.

I stand outside the door waiting for Azzy. After 5 minutes she appears in the door way. My breath hitches in my throat as she approaches me. "H-Hey," I say as my eyes look her over. She's wearing a black halter top showing off her mid-drift and her pierced belly button with a pair of faded blue jeans with holes on the knees. Her curly dark brown hair hanging down as she wears a pair of big hoop earrings in her ears.

"Hey," she says with a smile. "You look nice."

"Thanks," I say with a smile. "You look hot don't take it the wrong way but you look hot."

"Thanks," she says with a smile. "So are you ready to go?"

"Yeah are you?" I ask with a smile.

"Yeah," she says smiling back at me. "Brooke, I'll be back later. I'm going out with Dean for a little," she says before she walks out the door and shuts it behind her. I smile at her as I put my hands in my pockets as we walk to my car. "I'm sorry if Brooke seemed rude. She doesn't really have good social graces. She's had a rough life like I have."

"It's okay I wasn't offended is that her baby?" I ask.

"Yeah, that's her daughter," she says. "She's a single mom. The dad is in jail."

"Gotcha," I say as we make our way to the door of the apartment building. "This is an interesting place you live in."

"It's a place to live I can't complain. I've lived in worse," she says with a shrug as I hold the door open for her. When we reach the car I open the door for her and help her into the passenger's side of my black SUV. "So what are we doing tonight?" she asks as I get into the driver's side and start the car.

"I thought I would take you out for dinner do you eat Mexican food?"

"Dean," she says, "I have been hungry before I think I pretty much eat anything. If it's food I eat it. You don't have to ask me."

"All right," I say with a smile as I pull out of the parking space and make my way to the Mexican restaurant. We listen to the radio on the way there and engage in small talk about how our day went and what we have planned for the weekend.

Once we arrive at the restaurant I park the car and take her hand into mine as we walk to the door. She smiles at me as we walk and I smile back at her. I hold the door open for her as I follow her into the restaurant we are directed to our seats and as always I pull her chair out for her before I take my own seat. The waiter comes by introduces himself and takes our drink orders. He is quick to bring us our drinks and takes our food order before he is on his way to give Azzy and I time to talk. "So how long have you been in Cincinnati?" I ask her as she takes a sip of her soda.

"Just a month," she says. "I just came here from Pittsburgh. I don't stay in places too long. It's all about that squatter lifestyle. We never stay anywhere too long."

"So you're not going to be here long?" I ask.

"I'm going to be here until I get my shit together then I want to go to California and start a new life or something. I want to actually do something with my life maybe get my GED or something. Go to college. I don't know."

"That sounds like a plan," I say with a smile. "If I could go anywhere it would be Las Vegas."

"Why Vegas?" she asks.

"I don't know. I always wanted to live near the desert. I think it would be cool."

"It sounds nice but every time I think of Vegas I just think of the night club life. I'm trying to stay away from all that. I don't want to be in the same position I was before."

"I hear you," I say. "So tell me a little about yourself. I want to know more about you."

"What do you want to know?" she asks.

"How about we start with where you came from and your family," I say.

"I told you I'm from Tennessee but I have been around squatting wherever I can find a place to squat. And I don't have a family anymore. They disowned me," she says.

"So you don't talk to your mom or dad?"

"Please I'm an embarrassment to them. They want nothing to do with me. They couldn't get me out of that house fast enough."

"I'm sorry to hear that," I say.

"Don't feel sorry for me. I made my own life," she says. "I didn't want to follow their rules and I thought drugs were the way to go so I screwed that one up myself."

"But still," I say.

"It's fine," she says. "It's been me, myself and I the last couple years. I am just glad I found a couple guys that helped me out. What about you? What's your family like?"

"My family is much different than yours. I'm pretty close to my mom and I have a brother Rich that I am close to. They helped me out when I got addicted. I love my family."

"That's sweet," she says with a smile. "I have a little sister. She's 16," she says, "but of course she's nothing like me so they don't have to worry about her. I never talk to her though. I don't know what I would say."

"I hear you," I say. "So you mentioned that you want to go to school what would you plan on taking up?"

"I don't know. I was thinking drug and alcohol counseling what better job for a recovering addict. I could relate you know what I mean?"

"That is a good idea if I were to get my GED and go to college I would probably go for the same thing."

"Awesome," she says flashing me her beautiful smile. "So what's this wrestling thing you do all about?"

"It's WWE. It's a wrestling entertainment business. It's been my saving grace and helps me stay straight."

"I see," she says, "so you travel a lot?"

"Yeah I travel a lot probably 300 days a year. I have a busy schedule."

"I see," she says. "I never knew about WWE or wrestling until I met you. It sounds interesting."

"You might like it," I say with a smile. Going by her personality I'm sure she would love WWE. "I have to take you to a show some time."

"That would be cool," she says with a smile as they bring us our enchiladas. I thank them and she does the same before we go on to finish talking. "Do you know any places around here that I can find a job? I'm having trouble finding a place to work because I don't drive so I have to walk and I don't want to walk too far but have you seen the neighborhood I live in. I don't want to work around there."

"What kind of work are you looking for?" I ask. "I have a friend that owns a restaurant here in Cinci that is looking for a waitress would you be interested in that?"

"That sounds good," she says, "where is it?"

"It's a little further than you would like but I could get you to and from work," I say. "I mean that's if you want the job."

"Yeah," she says with a smile. "I want the job. I need to work and get money. I have some fines to pay and I need to pay Brooke rent without a job I can't do that."

"So you have fines to pay? From what?" I ask.

"I have a couple drug charges on me and I was fined by the courts when I plead guilty for having drugs on me. I was also mandated to go to a drug meeting to get help for my problem."

"So that's why you came to my meeting?"

"Pretty much but I really want to be there. I want to better myself."

"I'll help you better yourself if you want me to."

"I would like that," she says with a smile.

"You have a beautiful smile," I say.

"Thanks," she says.

"So you mentioned that you squatted with a couple guys. What happened to them?"

"They moved onto the next town," she says. "I stayed and they left. I'm better off without them. They were nothing but trouble. I'll be happy if I never see them again. They are part of the reason my drug addiction got so bad."

"What happened if you don't mind me asking," I say.

"I'd rather not talk about it," she says, "I'm not proud of it and I'm embarrassed by it. Plus if you knew about it you probably wouldn't look at me the same."

"Nothing you say or tell me would make me look at you any different, Azzy," I say reassuring her that she can trust me. I have an idea of what happened but I don't want to push her into telling me, "but you can tell me whenever you're ready," I say.

"Okay," she says with a smile. "So you said you have a daughter?"

"I do," I say, "but of course I'm not in her life. I wish I could be but it is what it is. She's 10 years old right now. She's a beautiful girl. I haven't seen her since she was a baby though. Her name is Sierra. I miss her."

"I bet," she says, "If you're clean I don't get why you can't be in her life."

"It's just the way it is," I say.

"Do you ever plan to have kids again or to get married again?"

"Someday when I find the right person," I say. "I'm sure you're not even thinking about marriage or kids huh?"

"I'm just thinking about getting through my withdraw and getting my life together before all of that. I screwed up my life, Dean and I just need to fix it and get it back on track. Can you help me with that?"

"I can help you with anything you want me to," I say with a smile as we eat.

"It's just so hard fighting these urges, Dean, I don't know if I can do it. It's the hardest pain I ever felt. I just need to shoot up to feel better but I can't and I won't. It's hard and I'm itching for it but I'm trying so hard not to fall down that path again. That's why I chose to stay in Cincinnati when my friends left because I knew if I went with them I would still be using. It destroys a life I can tell you that."

"I know it's hard. The first few weeks are the hardest. You just have to stay strong and channel your need somewhere else. You talked about writing what do you like to write?"

"Poems and stories sometimes songs," she says. "I like to write anything that I can."

"Try writing and see how that works. It's hard, Azzy but I know that you can do it. I know that you can fight the temptation and the need. I've been where you are before and it's hard I know but I know that you can do it. I know that you can fight it. You just have to be strong."

"What if I'm not that strong?" she says.

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only option you have. Trust me, Azzy you can do this."

"Thanks," she says with a soft smile.

The rest of our dinner goes very well. We spend time talking about things she likes to do. She told me the main thing she likes to do is write and she loves to sing. She loves music and likes country music mostly but also likes hip hop and pop music. We talk about the places that she's been and in the last couple years she has been to almost all 50 states except Hawaii, Alaska and the northern pacific states. She likes to travel but she wants to do it without being high and wants to enjoy it. I like her. I like her a lot once you get passed that roughness and the hard shell she has you see the softer side of her and you see the sweetness coming out of her but that doesn't mean I don't like her smart mouth or her assertiveness. It's still a major turn on for me but I want her to be able to let me in and let me know her as I let her inside of me to know me. I like her. There's definitely potential there.

After we eat dinner I take her to see a movie just to get more time with her before I take her back to her apartment. I keep my arm wrapped around her shoulders as we watch the movie and toward the middle she relaxes and rests her head on my chest as we watch it together. I take in the scent of her coconut smelling hair as I enjoy the movie with her in my arms. The movie ends too soon and I have to take her back to her apartment. "I had a good time tonight," I say to her as we stand outside her apartment door.

"Me too," she says with a smile as she looks up at me with those beautiful green eyes. Her hands are on my chest playing with the buttons on my shirt.

"Would you like to go out again sometime?"

"I'd love that," she says with a smile. "Thanks for tonight."

"You're welcome," I say with a smile. Our eyes meet and the passion between us pulling us closer as I lean down and kiss her lips softly. She wraps her arms around my neck as my arms find their way around her waist as I pull her closer to me and kiss her passionately, needing and wanting more. I pull away reluctantly as I look into her eyes. "I should go," I say.

"No," she says, "Come in, spend the night with me."

"Azzy, I don't think that's a good idea."

"Is it against the rules?" she asks with a smile.

"Maybe," I say smiling back at her.

"Come on, Dean," she says with a smile. "Fuck the rules."

"Okay," I say with a smile before my lips are on hers again, kissing her passionately. She gets into her purse as I am kissing her neck softly as I stand behind her with my arms wrapped around her waist. She fumbles for her keys before she finds them and opens the door quickly before pulling me inside. She shuts the door behind me and backs me up against the door as she kisses my lips urgently. My hands sliding up her shirt finding her breasts as we share a soft kiss. "Where's your bedroom?" I whisper against her lips.

"Follow me," she says taking my hand into hers and leading me to her bedroom. She shuts the door behind us and kicks off her shoes as I do the same as we enter into her bedroom. I lift her shirt up over her head and toss it to the floor as she unbuttons my shirt. I take it off before she slides her hands up my wife beater and takes it off. She wraps her arms around my neck and kisses my lips softly as I pick her up from the ground. She wraps her legs around my waist as I carry her over to the bed. I lay her down, covering her body with mine, kissing her softly. I want her so much and I'm going to take her as long as she lets me. I've been thinking about this since last Friday. I trail soft kisses down her neck, making my way to her chest kissing around her breasts and making my way down to her belly button. I kiss around her navel before I dip my tongue inside of it, licking it softly as she squirms as I play with her belly button ring. I make my way down to the top of her jeans. I unbutton them slowly before I pull them down exposing a black thong. I spread her legs softly kissing her inner thighs softly as my fingers softly rub her clit through her thong. I can feel her wetness through the silk fabric of her panties. I kiss her sex softly before I slide her panties off. Her moans of pleasure fill the room as my tongue finds her clit, flicking it softly as I slide two fingers inside her making love to her with my fingers. She cries out in passion as I move my fingers faster, her wetness making it easier for me fingers to slide into her. I suck on her clit softly before replacing my fingers with my tongue. Her hands are in my hair as I make love to her with my tongue. My skilled movements of my tongue have her begging for more. She cries out once more as she finds her climax and releases her hot juices onto my tongue as I lick them up softly. "Fuck, Dean," she says catching her breath as I lick the last of her wetness before I kneel over her to unbutton my jeans. "I want more of you, Baby."

"My pleasure," I say as I stand up to slide my jeans off followed by my briefs. I tower over her again smiling down at her as she wraps her arms around my waist. "I have wanted this since I met you," I say.

"Me too, Baby," she says with a smile. "Do you have a condom with you?"

"No," I say, "but I can pull out."

"No, I don't play Russian Roulette. I am not chancing any babies."

"No birth control?"

"No," she says, "not yet. There are condoms in the top drawer get one and hurry," she says.

"I hate condoms."

"And I hate the thought of having a baby when my life is a mess, no condom no sex," she says. I sigh as I get up and get into the top drawer. I grab a condom, tear the foil and slide it onto my erection. I make my way back over to the bed kneeling over her as I spread her legs. "Thank-you," she says with a smile as I smile back at her. I cover her body with mine as I slide into her slowly. She moans at my entrance. I slide deep into her as she moans louder before I slide back out before sliding back into her slowly. My lips find hers as I start to make love to her. Making every thrust soft and deep as she moans out in pleasure, I moan as I slide deeper inside of her. I pick up the pace moving harder and faster as I make love to her roughly. I slam into her as she cries out in pleasure and pull back out before slamming into her again, filling her with my dick, pleasuring her with each movement I make. Her legs wrapping around my waist as I continue my love making, my lips on her neck kissing her softly and nibbling at her neck. I feel her nails dig into my back as she tightens around me. A pleasurable scream escapes her lips as I feel her release around me. "DEAN!" she cries out as I continue my movements.

A couple more thrusts and I feel the passion tearing through me, ripping through my body. My erection growing larger and thicker, slamming into her one last time I explode releasing myself in the condom as I groan out in pleasure. "AZZY!" I say as I fill the condom with my hot seed. We ride out my climax and as I finish I collapse my body on top of hers, catching my breath as she does the same. I lay on top of her for a while longer not separating myself from her as she traces my spine with her fingertips. I kiss her lips softly before I reluctantly remove myself from her. I stand up and remove the condom, tying it before throwing it into the trashcan before I get back into bed with her. "Come here," I say as I pull her naked body close to me and hold her in my arms. I kiss her soft lips making her smile. "Do you want me to stay the night and cuddle with you?" I ask.

"I'd like that," she says with a smile before she lays a soft kiss on my lips. "This night keeps getting better."

"I have to agree," I say with a smile. "You're really beautiful, Azzy."

"Thanks," she says, "you're beautiful too."

I let out a small chuckle before I kiss her lips softly. "So what happens now with us?"

"I don't know," she says as she plays with the ends of my hair. "What do you want to happen with us? There's no going back now."

"What I want to happen with us," I say, "and it might sound premature but I want you in my life, Azzy. I want to be with you as much as I can and I want to spend as much time with you as I can outside of group and when I'm not on the road. I want to go on dates with you and have hot sex with you every night that I'm home and just be with you. I want something with you. I want to see where this goes. I want a relationship with you."

"Isn't a relationship jumping things a bit?" she asks.

"Isn't having sex like this jumping things a bit?" I ask with a smile.

"Good point," she says, "and you're so cute," she says with a smile. "I'll give it a try. Relationships aren't really my thing but I'll try."

"I didn't think they were," I say, "but I'd like that."

"Okay," she says with a smile before she kisses my lips softly, "and if we could have hot sex like that again I wouldn't mind."

"Me either," I say with a smile as I hold her in my arms. I pull her closer to me burying my nose into her neck holding her in my arms, listening to her breathe before we both fall asleep holding each other and not letting go.

 ***A/N: What do you think of Azzy's attitude? Do you think she's playing hardcore or has she just had a really hard life to make her have such an attitude? What did you think of Dean pretty much saying forget about the rules and going on a date with her? What did you think of their date? What were your thoughts when they hooked up? Is this going to make things different for them? What did you think of Dean asking for a relationship with her? Why do you think Azzy is against promises and relationships aren't her thing? And what do you think happened to her that she's embarrassed about? Should i keep this story going or no? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	4. My New Addiction

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you so much.***

Waking up to Dean is like waking up from a high. He gave me so much pleasure last night and gave me so much fun that I am craving more and need more of him. Knowing that he has to leave in a couple hours to go back out on the road is killing me. He took me to heights of pleasure I never knew existed. Sex for me has never really been a pleasurable experience it's always been a job or a forced experience for me. I never really got to enjoy the way I enjoyed it with Dean. The way I feel about Dean I never felt about anyone. Coming from the life I lived you don't have feelings for people you always have your guard up wondering who you can trust and who you can't trust. I came close to my friend Carlos but I was with him to work for him and get what he needed and to get what I needed. It wasn't anything and it wasn't going to turn into anything. Then there was my one and only boyfriend Sal. I was in love with him. He was the man that got me hooked onto heroin. I didn't prefer the hard stuff sticking to weed and some alcohol and maybe sniffing some inhalants but the day he brought me the needle and I shot up I was hooked. I was on a high I have never been on before. I couldn't get enough of it. I couldn't get enough of him. He was the only man I ever fell in love with. He kept me satisfied in the bedroom and with the drugs. I thought I had forever with him. We had a lot of great times together but most of them high. We talked of having kids and marriage. We had it all planned out. We had one crazy night, one binge of heroin. We had the most passionate sex that night. He was my high, he was my addiction and the next morning I woke up and he was dead. He died in bed next to me. He promised me forever, he promised he would never leave me and he did. The pain was too strong, my addiction and need took over. I got so bad into heroin I was doing things I never thought I would do just to get my fix. It takes your whole life away. It makes you do things you never thought you would do but you just need it. It deceives you, it weakens you and it makes you its bitch. A month after Sal died I found out I was pregnant. I tried to kick the habit for my baby and wanted to kick it. I wanted to clean up but I couldn't I kept shooting up because I was heroin's bitch. I needed it like people need coffee every morning. My child would have been born without a brain had I continued my pregnancy so I had to abort it. Heroin cost me my child. It cost me the love of my life and it almost took my life from me. I'm ashamed of the life I lived before but it is what brought me to this point and brought me to Dean.

The pain in my chest for the need to keep Dean with me builds up and gets deeper. It tightens as my throat starts to hurt as a lump starts to form in my throat. My hazel eyes burning with the threat of tears as I look at Dean as he sleeps peacefully next to me, he's a beautiful man and he even sleeps beautifully. It has to be a crime for any man to look that good. I blink my eyes a couple times as the tears start to fall from my eyes, my chest starts to contract as I start to choke on the lump in my throat. Soft sobs start to fill the room as I break down at the thought of Dean leaving me. A lot of people have left me and told me they would be back. They never came back. I can't control myself as I cry. "What's wrong, Azzy?" asks Dean as he sits up next to me in bed as I sit crying onto my knees.

"You're going to leave me," I say.

"I'll be back," he says. "I just have to go out on the road for a few days. I will be back soon I promise."

"Don't promise me," I say through my tears. "Promises don't mean anything to me. People tell me they are coming back all the time and they don't."

"Azzy, I'm not one of those people," he says as he wraps his arm around me and I fall into his soft and firm chest as I cry. "I will be back. It's only going to be a couple days."

"It hurts, Dean."

"What hurts?" he asks.

"How I feel about you. It hurts. I'm scared I'm going to lose you."

"Azzy, you're not going to lose me. I know it's hard for me to go away and it will be hard at first but you will get used to it. I am usually only gone a few days at a time. Sometimes you can come with me. I don't want to leave you either but I have to work."

"Are you sure you'll be back?" I ask as I look up at him with my hazel eyes. "I don't want to lose you."

"I'm sure I'll be back," he says with a soft smile. "People may have promised you things before but I'm promising you this. I'm different. I promise I am coming back."

"Okay," I say wrapping my arms around his waist. "I need you, Dean," I say. I don't know what it is but Dean is like a drug to me. I need him. I want him. The pain of him not being here reminds me of the withdraw that I feel from not getting my fix. It is horrible and I feel almost dependent on him even though we just started our relationship. When I fall for someone, I fall hard.

Dean and I cuddle for a little which leads into making out, caressing each other and enjoying the feel of each other's bodies. One thing leads to another and we are having hot passionate sex like we did the night before. I don't know if I will ever get enough of this man. After we reach our climax together I fall asleep in his arms as he holds me tightly up against his body.

"Azzy," he says as my eyes flick open. I see him standing over me with a smile on his face holding a cup out to me. "I made you some coffee," he says.

"Thanks," I say with a smile as I sit up covering myself with the covers as I take the coffee from him. He's freshly showered and dressed in his clothes from the night before. I take a sip of my coffee. "Mm. Thank-you."

"You're welcome," he says with a smile as he takes a seat on my bed. "I'm getting ready to go. I decided to take a later flight out but you needed your sleep so I decided to just let you sleep. I was supposed to leave an hour ago."

"Oh," I say, "I was tired."

"I know," he says with a smile. "And you looked so beautiful as you slept I couldn't wake you up so I took a shower and made you some coffee I hope you don't mind."

"No you're all right," I say with a smile. "No one has ever made me coffee before," I say with a smile. "And I like it," I say with a smile before taking another sip.

"We're just getting started, Baby," he says, "when I come back would you like to come stay at my house for a couple days? You don't have to. We can hang out here but I would like to bring you to my place to hang out on the days that I am home."

"I'll think about it," I say, "where are you going?"

"North Dakota, Idaho and Iowa," he says.

"Sounds fun," I say with a smile as he makes a face. "You're so cute."

"Thanks," he says with a smile showing me those beautiful dimples as he flashes his gorgeous smile. His blue eyes blink at me making me smile. "So I'm going to need to get going. Are you going to be okay?"

"I think so," I say, "I wish you didn't need to leave but I know you have to work."

"Well, you can call me as much as you want. We'll talk for as long and as much as you want," he says.

"Okay," I say.

"And I talked to my friend," he says, "he set up an interview for you at his diner for Monday morning. That's if you still want the job."

"I do," I say with a smile as he hands me a card with the guy's phone number on it. "Thank-you."

"You're welcome," he says with a smile. "And we're going to work on getting you a cell phone. I hate mine but I prefer if you had one too. It would make it easier for me to get in touch with you while I am away."

"All right," I say with a smile.

"Well, I have to go. I will talk to you later. Bye, Baby," he says with a smile before he kisses my lips softly.

"Bye," I say with a smile as I watch him walk out of the bedroom. I almost want to cry but I hold it together because I know he will be back. I just hope this gets easier.

 **An HOUR LATER:**

I walk out of my bedroom freshly showered, dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt with my curly dark brown hair pulled up into a messy bun making my way to the kitchen. I smile when I see Brooke in the kitchen feeding her little girl Kylie. She gives me a smile as I get into the refrigerator to pull out a bottle of water. "What?" I ask as I take a seat at the table as she's still looking at me as she feeds a spoonful of carrots into Kylie's mouth making her spit it out and laugh about it. I smile and try not to laugh knowing Brooke is teaching her not to do that.

"What do you mean what?" she asks me. "You have a man."

"Maybe," I say as I take a sip of my water and hold back a smile as she looks at me after wiping Kylie's mouth.

"Maybe?" she asks. "Last night and this morning didn't sound like a maybe," she says with a smile as I feel my face heating up. "It sounded like some good old hot passionate loving going on in there. The screaming and the moaning," she says shaking her head. "You got yourself a man."

"You heard us?"

"I would be surprised if everyone on the floor didn't hear you two, Azzy. I didn't think you two would ever finish," she says with a smile. "What the hell where did you find him?"

"He runs that group I joined."

"I see," she says. "Isn't that kind of against the rules?"

"Good thing neither of us gives a shit about the rules," I say with a smile. "I'm not a rule follower you know that."

"I know but he seems like he could be."

"I don't think he is," I say playing with the cap from my water bottle. "He's hot though right?"

"Yeah," she says with a smile. "He's hot. I thought he was here to evict us or something last night when he showed up. You didn't tell me you were going on a date."

"I didn't think I needed to," I say with a smile as Kylie looks at me and smiles. Seeing babies hurts me. It makes my ovaries hurt knowing that I could have been a mother but heroin robbed me of that joy. I want kids someday but I need to get my shit together first. "She's so cute," I say with a smile.

"Thanks," she says, "so after last night how long before we can expect a baby from you?"

"Not for a long time," I say, "I need to get myself together before I think about having a baby or even getting close to having a baby. I made him wear a condom."

"That's good at least you realize that. Babies are a lot of work, Azalea," she says. "You're just learning to take care of yourself. You've been through hell," she says.

"Don't call me Azalea, I hate it," I say.

"All right," she says, "so what's up with this guy? Is he sticking around or what?"

"He's sticking around," I say with a smile. "He wants more and we are kind of in a relationship."

"Kind of? Either you are or you aren't," she says, "which is it?"

"We are," I say.

"I see," she says, "and you don't think it's too soon."

"I don't know. I mean I know how I feel about him so I think it's good. He's a good guy."

"Of course he is he made you coffee," she says, "guys don't just make anyone coffee and he told me he delayed his flight to be with you for a little."

"Yeah," I say, "he's a good guy."

"That's good," she says, "you need a good guy in your life. The guys you were rolling with and I know I'm not innocent look at Kylie's dad they were nothing but trouble. I'm glad you're getting your life together."

"Thanks," I say with a smile. "But I don't deserve a good guy. What did I do?"

"Azzy, you're always so down on yourself. Stop it. You are an awesome girl. You have your whole life ahead of you. You're only 18 years old. You may have screwed up everyone has screwed up in life. You know you have a problem and you're getting help for it. You took the first step. You're getting your life together."

"I know but Dean is such a good guy. I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts because once he finds out who I am and what I've done. I know he's going to leave like everyone else."

"Maybe but if he's as good of a guy as you say he is I think he will stick around."

"That would be nice," I say. "But we'll see."

"When do you plan on telling him everything?"

"I don't know not for a while yet," I say. "I just want to enjoy it while I can."

"Okay," she says, "Azzy, I hate to bring this up but you're going to need to start paying your part of the rent or you're not going to be able to live here. I'm trying to take care of my daughter. I can't pay your half of the rent too."

"I'm getting a job I promise. Dean actually got me an interview at his friend's diner."

"Dean got you a job interview?"

"Yes," I say with a smile.

"He must really like you," she says with a smile. "So you're going to go right?"

"Yeah," I say, "I'll go there. It's on Monday morning. He gave me all the information. He asked me to go stay with him when he comes back."

"Are you?"

"I don't know if I am ready for that yet. I mean everything is going fast. I don't know if I am ready for that but we'll see."

"What does he do?"

"He's a wrestler for WWE," I say with a shrug. "Never heard of it, I don't know."

"Wow," she says.

"What?"

"You know your little boyfriend is a wrestler and that he is on TV right?"

"I don't watch TV but I guess I should?" I ask.

"Yeah check it out. I haven't watched it in a while but yeah your boyfriend is a wrestler. He is probably rolling in money."

"I don't care about that," I say. "I like him."

"Good," she says with a smile. "You seem happy but then again I would be happy too if someone was giving it to me like that all night."

"Shut up," I say with a smile. "Just shut up."

 **DEAN's POINT OF VIEW:**

"Wow you're late," says Roman as I walk into the gym. "We expected you an hour ago."

"I took a later flight out," I say.

"How come?" he asks.

"Because I was with my girl last night," I say with a smile.

"Rewind," says Seth, "your girl? When did you get a girl?"

"Last night I took Azzy out on a date," I say with a smile as I get ready to lift some weights.

"Who is Azzy?" asks Roman, "and that name is different."

"Azzy is the girl I met in group," I say. "She's the one I told you about. And yes her name is very different but so is she," I say. "She's a beautiful woman and she's hot too."

"Uh huh," says Seth, "you slept with her already didn't you?"

"I did," I say, "and it was meant to be. It was perfect. I like this girl."

"I can tell," says Seth with a smile. "It's written all over your face. So you delayed your flight to be with her?"

"She needed me. She has a couple problems," I say, "but we'll get through them. I don't think she likes being alone. I don't' think she trusts a lot of people. I don't know what she's gone through but whatever it was messed her up. I mean she was addicted to heroin. Anything could happen with that drug. I just want to work with her through her problems and let her know there are good guys out there that will care about her and love her. She deserves to be happy."

"Sounds like you've fallen for her quickly."

"I have. I've fallen hard for her. There's just something about her," I say with a smile. "She's different and I like that. I see a lot of potential with her. I hope that she's the one but at 18 she's still discovering life and this is where that age difference comes into play."

"Damn he's got it bad," says Roman with a smile.

"I do," I say with a smile. "I really do."

 ***A/N: What do you think of Azzy's need for Dean? Do you think Dean is becoming her drug? What did you think about her opening up about her past to the readers? Did she go through it? What are your thoughts of Dean delaying his flight to be with her longer? What do you think of Brooke's and Azzy's relationship? Do you think Azzy suffers from Self-Esteem issues and other issues? What are your thoughts on Dean getting her a job interview and wanting to get her a Cellphone? What about him asking her to stay at his house? Do you think Dean is as addicted to Azzy as she is to him? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	5. Lost In You

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much***

 **AZZY:**

"Brooke, what do you think? Do I look all right for this interview?" I ask her as I walk into the living room wearing one of the most decent dresses I have. It's a beautiful black short sleeve dress that falls just above my knees and doesn't hug too tightly to my body or give off a lot of cleavage. I wear black knee high boots that I borrowed from Brooke to match the outfit and I threw my curly hair into a ponytail.

"You look pretty," she says with a smile. "Is that the dress Dean had sent to you?"

"Yes," I say with a smile. "Do you like it?"

"It's different than what you normally wear but I like it. It's not too revealing," she says. "Are you ready for this interview?"

"As ready as I'm ever going to be," I say with a smile. "I have to catch the bus soon. It's a little bit away."

"What kind of restaurant is it?"

"Dean said it's a diner," I say with a shrug.

"That's good. You can get good tips."

"I hope so," I say with a smile. "Well, wish me luck. I have to go meet this guy. I hope I get the job."

"Me too," she says, "Good luck, Azzy."

"Thanks," I say with a smile before I grab my purse and grab a jacket to wear in the cooler weather in the autumn time. I walk out into the crisp cool air and make my way to the bus stop. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about this job interview. I've never really had a real job before and I never really had an interview. I earned money different ways and none of them good. I want to do things right this time. I want to do something good.

I arrive at the diner and take it in from the outside. It looks like your typical diner, small and cozy. I make my way into the doors and the smell of burgers and fries is in the air. It's a cute little diner. The booths are small and cozy, the stools at the counter are padded with a black cushion. There are waitress walking around taking orders and delivering food to tables. It's pretty busy for a lunch time rush. I never heard of this place before but then again I haven't been in Cincinnati for too long. "Can I help you?" asks one of the waitress dressed in a black skirt and a pink shirt with red hair.

"I'm looking for Rich," I say. "I'm here for a job interview," I say.

"Okay," she says. "I will let him know that you're here," she says before she walks off. She's not very polite as she does so. I am sure she doesn't want to be bothered during the lunchtime rush but still she could be nicer.

I stand waiting for Rich to come see me and after 10 minutes a man that resembles Dean comes out from a door dressed in a light yellow button down shirt and a pair of black pants with a black tie. He walks over to me with a smile on his face. "Hello," he says, "are you Azalea?"

"Yes, Sir," I say with a smile. "I'm here for my interview."

"I know," he says with a smile. "Dean told me you were coming. Let's go to my office to talk."

"Can we not go to your office and talk? Can we talk in a booth or something open?" I ask.

"That's fine too," he says giving me a strange look. After everything I've gone through I prefer not to be alone with a man I don't know in his office. I want to be somewhere out in the open where I am more comfortable. It's just a quirk of mine well not a quirk just a safety procedure. Dean was different and I'm not sure why. He guides me over to a free table and I take a seat in the booth before I take off my jacket as he sits across from me with his notebook. "So Azalea," he says.

"Azzy, please," I say.

"Azzy, Dean told me a lot about you. He's very high on you. He talked me into doing this interview."

"He did?" I ask with surprise.

"He did," he says, "so tell me have you ever worked in a restaurant before?"

"No," I say, "I never have."

"So you have no experience at all in the food industry?"

"No," I say.

"Have you ever had a job before?"

"Not a real job," I say. "I've had jobs just not real ones."

"So you never worked at a real place?"

"No," I say.

"I see," he says. "And why should I hire you?"

"I really don't know," I say.

"Okay," he says, "and do you have any criminal charges on your record?"

I swallow hard before I answer the question. I don't think I'm doing very well at this interview. "I have drug charges on me," I say, "but I am getting help and I have been sober for a couple weeks now. I am trying to make a better life for myself and I am trying to support myself the right way. I know I don't have any experience with this type of work but I promise I am a hard worker and I will work really hard I promise. I will do anything. I will wash dishes, clean the floors, clean the kitchen whatever you want me to do I will do it. I know I have a bad history but I'm trying to separate myself from that and I'm trying to be a better person. I am trying to do the right thing. All I am asking is a chance to prove that to you. I will do anything."

"My biggest concern is your history of drug use. It hasn't been that long since you last used drugs. I understand that you're trying to change and trying to better yourself but it's only been a week or two. I don't know how comfortable I am with that. Have you ever stolen anything?"

I look down at the table as I play with my hands nervously. "I used to but I would never steal from my job. I promise. I know it's asking a lot but I'm really trying to change and do better for myself. I told you. I will work as hard as I need to and I will do whatever you ask me to. All I need is a chance. Can you give me a chance? Please?"

He looks at me and then makes a note on his notebook. He takes a deep breath before he looks at me. "Azzy, I understand addiction. I know how it can taint someone's past and possibly taint their future. I know that it is hard to separate yourself from that lifestyle because everyone is going to look at you like a drug addict instead of a person that's changing. I know what it's like for someone to turn their back on someone because they had a drug addiction. My brother was a drug addict for years and then he finally cleaned himself up. He struggled a bit after he cleaned up because no one was willing to give him a chance. It wasn't fair to him. Yes he did the wrong things and he made mistakes but his past shouldn't play a part in his present or his future. He was a good guy that sobered up and wanted to better himself. No one wanted to give him the chance he deserved. I look at you and you're a beautiful girl. You seem like a smart girl and I know you're getting help. I am not going to hold your past against you. I'm going to give you a try and I'm going to see how you do. I hope that you can prove to me that you can be a good employee. I am going to give you a job and see how it goes."

"So you're going to hire me?" I ask with a smile.

"I'm going to hire you and give you a chance. You'll be a waitress."

"Thank-you so much," I say with a smile. "Thank-you."

"You're welcome," he says with a smile. "Don't make me regret my choice."

"I won't I promise. I will be the best waitress you've ever seen. I'll come to work early and stay late if I need to. I will be the best employee you have. Thank-you!"

"You're welcome," he says with a smile. "My brother likes you a lot, Azzy. He practically begged me to give you a chance. He wants to see you do the right thing. Don't let him down."

"Dean is your brother?" I ask.

"He's my little brother," he says with a smile. "I still look out for him. He's been through a lot in the last 10 years. I don't want to see him get hurt again. Promise me you won't hurt him."

"I won't hurt him," I say. "I promise."

"Good," he says with a smile.

"When can I start?" I ask.

"You can start tomorrow if you'd like. How does 7 am- 3 pm sound to you? I can have you scheduled Mondays, Tuesdays, Saturdays and Sundays. I am sure Dean would like to enjoy as much time with you as he can on his days off. How does that sound?"

"It sounds good," I say with a smile. "Thank-you so much, I promise I won't let you down."

"I hope not," he says with a smile before he gets me some paperwork to fill out. He then tells me my uniform to wear and then explains how I get a free meal and family will get a discount on meals when they eat in the diner. I'm pretty excited about my job and I can't wait to start. It's my first real job. I just hope I don't let Rich or Dean down.

 **THREE DAYS LATER:**

Sitting in group like I do every Thursday night lately I can't keep my eyes off Dean and he can't keep his eyes off of me. I smile at him often as he does the same to me. This is the first time I'm seeing him since our date last Friday night and I couldn't be happier to see him. He looks so good sitting in the chair smiling showing off those dimples and the red stubble on his chin is very hot to me. He wears a grey t-shirt with a black leather jacket and those blue jeans that fit him so perfectly and a baseball cap hiding his wild hair. His deep raspy voice fills the room as he talks about how he has overcome his drug addiction but still has urges at times but he turns to working out to take away the urge. I can't stop listening or staring at him. He's amazing and that voice turns me on every time I hear it. It's so sexy and mesmerizing. I could get lost in his words all day when he speaks to me with that sexy raspy voice. I don't even think he realizes the affect it has on me.

When the meeting comes to an end I get up to get a drink of water as he comes over to me. I smile as I see him get closer. "Hey," he says with a smile.

"Hey," I say with a smile of my own. "How are you?"

"Good," he says. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," I say with a smile.

"So do you want to hang out tonight? You want to come to my place?"

"I'm not ready to go to your place," I say. "Would you like to hang out at my place?"

"I'll hang out anywhere as long as I am with you," he says with a smile.

"Okay," I say. "I'm about to head home now. You can meet me there later."

"Oh no," he says, "I'm not letting you walk home by yourself. I'll take you home and just stay there."

"Isn't that against the rules?" I ask.

"You know how I feel about the rules, Azzy," he says with a smile.

"Aren't you worried about what people will say?"

"About a concerned group leader taking home a member because it's after dark and she lives in a really bad part of town? I don't think people will mind."

"All right," I say with a smile. "I'm ready to go whenever you are."

"Just give me a few minutes and then we'll stop to get a pizza on the way to your apartment if you'd like to."

"Sounds good," I say with a smile before he walks away to go talk to some of the members before we leave together after everyone else is gone. He helps me into his SUV and then rounds to the driver's side and climbs in. He kisses my lips softly and passionately making me want more and need more from him. "What was that for?" I ask breathlessly as he breaks the kiss before starting the car.

"I was dying to do that all night, Baby," he says with a smile. "Let's go back to your apartment and hang out."

"Sounds good to me," I say with a smile as he takes my hand into his intertwining our fingers as he drives.

When we get back to my apartment Dean carries the pizza inside as I go to the kitchen to get us some plates and grab us a can of soda out of the fridge. We say hi to Brooke on the way to my bedroom and then shut ourselves in the room for the night. "So you were expecting to come here tonight?" I ask looking at his bag.

"Yeah," he says with a smile as he tosses the bag onto my bed. "Was it a bit forward of me?"

"No," I say with a smile. "You're good. Here are the plates," I say with a smile. "I'm going to change into something more comfortable.

"Okay," he says before I walk over to my dress after handing him the plates. I pull out a tank top and a pair of shorts to wear before I join him on the floor of my bedroom. He hands me my plate with a piece of Hawaiian pizza on it.

"I love Hawaiian Pizza," I say with a smile before I take a bite of it as I sit close to him. "It's delicious."

"It's my favorite," he says with a smile. "So did you get the job?"

"I did. You didn't tell me Rich was your brother."

"Yeah, he's my older brother. We're best friends. He's been by my side through all the shit."

"He seems like a cool guy."

"He is nice so how do you like the job?"

"I love it," I say. "I'm just glad to be working. I'm still getting the hang of it but I like it."

"That's good," he says with a smile.

"How was work? Did you enjoy your time away?"

"I did," he says, "but all I could think about was you," he says. "You were on my mind like you always are."

"I like being on your mind," I say with a smile.

"I like having you there," he says before he kisses my lips softly, "but it makes me miss you more."

"I missed you so much," I say. "Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything," he says.

"What made you choose drugs?"

"I just fell into the wrong crowd," he says, "I was hanging out with kids that I shouldn't have been hanging out with. We started popping pills and smoking weed. I was hooked on the pills. I couldn't stop and I was smoking more and more weed as time went by. I fell into the drug life. I was selling them and using them. I was screwing up my life but I didn't care. I dropped out of school. It took my parents to figure out I had a problem. Once they found out they came to me and talked to me about it but I didn't listen. I didn't think I had a problem. I couldn't admit it until I lost my wife and daughter because of it."

"How did you meet your wife and how old were you when you got married?"

"I met my wife by doing drugs. She hung out in the same crowd as I did. We got high together and we popped pills together. We had sex a few times and she got pregnant. I thought the best thing was to marry her because we were 17 years old almost 18 so we got married before our daughter was born. She gave up the drug life when she got pregnant and never went back but I couldn't kick the habit. She thought I was a danger to our daughter and pushed me away. She told me if I got help she would come back and we could have a family together. When I was in rehab she met someone else and fell in love. By the time I got out she was gone with my daughter. When I found them she wanted nothing to do with me. I tried to be involved in my daughter's life but she didn't want me there. She was happy without me and doing well."

"So you just gave up?"

"I guess I did. I wish I could be in her life but it's been over 10 years. She probably doesn't even know me."

"It's worth a try," I say. I see the sadness in his eyes as he talks about his daughter. I can't imagine how bad he hurts. "I fell into the wrong crowd too," I say. "I got involved with the wrong people. It started off easy at first just a little bit of weed here and there. Then it got harder and I needed more. My parents found out I was doing drugs. They told me I needed to quit or they were going to kick me out. I didn't quit so I got kicked out. I was left out on the streets to make my way. There was nowhere to go but the drug path. I met a guy shortly after I got kicked out. I loved him I think or maybe I loved what he offered I don't know. It's hard to figure out either way. He introduced me to heroin. It was an instant high and I was addicted. I couldn't live without it. He was offering and I was taking it. We got high together. We lived the life together while shooting up and getting the best high but then he overdosed. He died next to me. It was brutal. It fucked me up more. I got really bad into heroin. I just couldn't kick the habit as much as I tried but I couldn't kick it. I was left alone again with nowhere to go and no one to care about me. I was alone and then I met two guys that pretty much took me in and helped me out but not in a good way. We started squatting and hitting wherever we could end up. I am not proud of the things I have done. Drugs make you do some crazy things. It was tough. I got caught and they left me to fend for myself. I got drug charges and here I am trying to clean my shit up and become a better person. They left me."

"Damn," he says, "we had some fucked up luck, Az," he says shaking his head. "I get it. When you need that high you're willing to do anything you need to do in order to get it no matter what it is. The drug life is tough. You never really leave the title of being a drug addict. We'll always be drug addicts but we'll be recovering drug addicts. I have been sober for 10 years and it hasn't been easy. I have wanted and needed to use again. I don't think if I get hurt I will be able to take pain pills out of the fear of getting addicted again. Some days the urge is stronger than others but some days I don't want to use again. I just keep trying to stay away from them. I just have to turn to working out and wrestling to keep me from going down that path again."

"I am glad you are 10 years sober. I hope I can make it that far and make it that long. I have been writing like you told me to do. Baring my soul and expressing how heroin deceived me and controlled me, it's not easy but I'm working on trying to be a better person and remain sober. I want to do so much with my life."

"And you can and you will," he says before kissing the top of my head. "I know you can."

"Thanks," I say with a smile. "Like I know someday I want to have a real job after going to college and I want to get married someday and have kids. I want to be a normal person. I know I'll always be a drug addict like you said but I will be a recovering drug addict. I never want to see heroin again."

"I'll help you through it all, Azzy," he says, "we'll help each other. It's not easy but as long as we work together and we help each other we should be okay."

"Okay," I say with a smile before he wraps his arm around my shoulders pulling me close to him.

"So tell me why don't you like to be called Azalea?" he asks me as he takes my plate from me and puts it down beside him with his before pulling me onto his lap so that I am straddling him as he wraps his arms around my waist.

"I don't know. I just don't like it. I told you my mom said naming me Azalea was a mistake. She said it made me a wild child but I think I would have been wild whether my name was Azalea or not."

"I like the name. I think it's beautiful just like you. Azaleas are beautiful flowers. What's your middle name?"

"Rose," I say with a smile.

"Azalea Rose," he says with a smile. "I like it. What's your last name?"

"Thomas," I say, "Azalea Rose Thomas. It does have a ring to it."

"It's beautiful," he says with a smile before I kiss his soft lips.

"What about you?" I ask playing with his hair. "What's your name?"

"Just Dean Ambrose," he says with a smile. "Can I call you Azalea?"

"Dean, I hate it," I say with a smile, "but if it's only you then okay. Just don't call me Azalea in the group."

"I would never," he says with a smile before my lips are on his again, kissing him passionately as his hands slide up my shirt, cupping my breasts as he massages them as the passion in our kiss grows stronger. "Azalea," he says as I break the kiss.

"Yeah?" I ask with a smile.

"I think you're my new addiction. I'm so addicted to you."

I smile at him and say, "I think you're my new addiction too. I need you and I want you. You're my addiction, Dean." I say before my lips are on his again before he stands up as I wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me to my bed.

He lays me back on my bed before he slides his shirt off over his head exposing his perfect abs as he smiles down at me before pulling me up to remove my tank top from my body. He covers my body with his, his blue eyes filled with need and desire before his lips are on mine again. He sits up and pulls my shorts off my body quickly before unbuttoning his jeans. He pulls them off quickly followed by his briefs exposing his thick erection. He gets into my night stand drawer and pulls out a condom. He tears the foil with his teeth and puts the condom on quickly. "We need to get you on some birth control," he says. "I hate these things. I have to see what I can do about this. I just want to get lost in you over and over again, pleasure you, making you know I need you as much as you need me. Filling you up with my cum showing you that you're mine and I'm not going anywhere. Azalea what you do to me," He says breathlessly as he towers over me rubbing the tip of his dick on my sex, teasing me and making me want him. "To show you I'm addicted to you and I need you more than the air I breathe. I need to be with you as much as I can, Azalea. I want you to see that you pleasure me and that you have this crazy effect on me making me come back to you each time. I need you, Azalea, I want you."

"Dean," I say looking into his blue eyes burning with desire. "Take me, get lost in me, show me," I say as I wrap my arms around his neck. He slides himself inside me slowly, filling me as much as he can as he starts to make love to me as we both get lost in each other, finding our high together and showing each other our addiction. I'm addicted to him as much as he is to me. We spend the night together having passionate sex, pleasuring each other to new heights and getting lost in our new addictions; each other.

 ***A/N: What do you think of Azzy getting the job? Do you like the fact she is working for Dean's brother? Do you think she can handle the job? What do you think about Dean and Azzy opening up to each other more? Do you think they have channelled their addiction to drugs into each other? Is this healthy for them? What do you think of of Dean and Azzy admitting they were addicted to each other? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	6. Scared of Losing You

***THANK-YOU for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you so much***

 **A FEW WEEKS LATER:**

Over the next few weeks Azzy and I have been spending lots of time together and when we're not together we are constantly talking on the phone when I'm away. I hate leaving her behind but I have to do my job. I bought her a cell phone so that it is easier for us to talk when I'm on the road. It's my plan to bring her out on the road with me soon but once she is settled in at the diner I'll discuss it with her and see what she thinks. I'm not saying permanently but just once in a while I want to bring her out on the road with me, take her around to places for her to enjoy so we can enjoy traveling together. She really seems to like working at the diner and she's been working on getting her life together. I'm happy for her. She's doing very well.

I am sitting in the waiting room of the clinic while Azzy gets her birth control implant placed into her arm. We have been discussing birth control over the last few weeks with how active we are. I hate condoms and don't like to use them and she doesn't want to risk a pregnancy. I on the other hand am not too worried about an accidental pregnancy but since she is working so hard to get her life together I don't want to ruin that so we agreed that she would get the implant since she wouldn't be good at remembering the pill and she didn't want the shot and I would pay for it out of pocket since she doesn't have health insurance. The door opens to the back and she walks out to the waiting room to get me. "Hey," I say standing up. "How did it go?"

"Good," she says with a smile as she shows me where they put the implant. "The doctor said it should prevent pregnancy for 3 years and there is a very slim chance I could get pregnant probably about 1% so we are all good after 7 days."

"After 7 days?" I ask.

"Yeah," she says, "the doctor told me it won't be effective till after 7 days and they did an STD test on me as well. I should have those results back in a couple days but I'm pretty sure I'm good."

"All right," I say, "I'm good on the STD thing too and we can't have sex for 7 days?"

"No we can he just said to use a condom because it takes 7 days for the implant to become effective."

"Okay, I got you," I say with a smile. "So what do I need to do? Do I need to pay right now?"

"Yes," she says. "They are waiting for you."

"Okay," I say before I kiss her lips softly. "I'll be right back."

"Okay," she says, "thank-you."

"You're welcome," I say with a smile before I make my way to the window in the back to pay for her implant. It's a lot of money but it's worth it if it protects her from getting pregnant too soon. I hand the woman behind the window my debit card and have her swipe to complete the payment. She hands me a receipt and I am on my way.

After Azzy's appointment we decided to go have lunch at my brother's diner for a lunch date and then we go to see an afternoon movie just to get in as much time as we can together before I go back out on the road. I love spending time with her. I wasn't so sure of our relationship at first but in the last few weeks I have realized I am glad I listened to Roman and Seth or else I would be missing all this with her. She's a great girl, she's beautiful, she's smart and she's funny. My time with her is my favorite time of the day. We've been keeping our relationship private from the group and I haven't mentioned her too much because I don't want anyone in our business. We are doing us and I don't want anyone getting in between us or for her to be scared off by my fans. She isn't ready for that lifestyle yet. "So what do you want to do now?" I ask as we are walking out of the movie theater.

"I don't know," she says with a smile. "We could have Chinese food and hang out at my apartment if you want to."

"Sounds good," I say with a smile. "Do you think you're ever going to come to my house?"

"I don't know," she says. "I want to but I'm not ready. It's a comfort thing. I've been through a lot that I really don't like going to places I don't know by myself. I trust you but it's just I'm not ready."

"It's okay, Azalea, you don't have to explain yourself to me. I will be patient with you but my house is bigger and my bed is bigger."

"I'm sure it is," she says with a smile as she leans into me and I kiss the top of her head taking in the scent of her coconut shampoo as I wrap my arm around her shoulders as we walk outside the movie theater.

"Damn it," I murmur to her.

"Hmm?" she asks.

"Tessa from group is here," I say.

"Oh," she says. "Maybe we shouldn't be seen like this together?"

"Probably not," I say, "but it's too late now." Tessa and her friends have already spotted us and Tessa is making her way over to us.

"Hello, Dean," she says as I stop with Azzy keeping my arm wrapped around her shoulders.

"Hello, Tess," I say with a soft smile as she looks at me and then she looks at Azzy. "How are you?"

"Good," she says keeping her eyes on Azzy. "How are you?" she asks bringing her dark brown eyes back to me.

"I'm doing pretty good," I say. "So you're going to see a movie?"

"Yeah," she says. "Did you and Azzy see a movie together?"

"Yes we just saw The Avengers," I say with a smile. "What are you seeing?"

"Probably Pitch Perfect 2," she says. "So are you two together?"

"We're hanging out," I say with a nod.

"I see but like are you two together?" she asks keeping her eyes on me as I hold Azzy close to me.

"I guess you could say that," I say with a smile as I feel Azzy's hazel eyes on me. I look at her and smile.

"Interesting," says Tessa.

"Well," I say, "I hope you enjoy your movie. Have a good day."

"You too," she says before we walk away and I can feel Tessa's eyes on me as we walk together to my car.

"I can't believe you told her we are together," says Azzy as we get into my car.

I shrug my shoulders and say, "It's the truth right?"

"Yeah but it's against the rules isn't it for us to be involved with each other?"

"It's frowned upon not against the rules," I say with a smile as I take her hand into mine as I pull out of the parking space. "Besides what's Tessa going to do?"

"Tell everyone in the group," she says as she intertwines her fingers with mine.

"So what if she does. It doesn't matter to me if they know. That means we don't have to hide it anymore besides I am sure Tessa is upset."

"Why because you're with me?"

"Yeah and not with her she has been interested in me for a while. She doesn't care she's asked me out on a date before. If I were you I wouldn't worry about it."

"Did you go out on a date with her?" she asks.

"Of course not, I'm not interested in her."

"But why are you interested in me?" she asks. "I'm 18 you're 29. You are at a different place in your life and you don't know me at all."

"I know enough to know that you're beautiful and you're smart. And it doesn't matter to me if you're 18 or 28 I am still crazy about you," I say giving her a smile as I am stopped at a red light. "There is nothing that I don't know about you that would make me walk away, Azzy. I'm in it because I like you and I want to see how far this goes and I believe it's going pretty far."

"I don't know," she says.

"Relax, Azzy," I say as I stroke her knuckles with my thumb. "There is nothing that can change my mind about you. I don't know what you do to me but I know you give me this feeling that I don't ever want to lose you. It may be really soon to have those feelings but the moment I met you I was hooked on you. I don't want to lose you."

"Losing people is a part of life," she says, "People have promised to never leave me and they have. What makes you different? Right now we're all about the hot sex we have together and a few dates here and there but really what are you attracted to when you see me?"

"Everything," I say. "I'm attracted to everything about you, Azzy. Stop being down on yourself everyone else may have left you but I'm not everyone else. I am someone different. I am me and I think I am in love with you," I say. "I just can't stop spending time with you or thinking about you when I'm away. I miss you every time I go out on the road. I miss you before I even leave. Azzy, what we have is hard to explain but it's real. The attraction we have to each other is more than just hot sex. It's more than sex."

"You can't be in love with someone that you don't know," she says, "Please don't tell me you're in love with me until you know the real me. You don't know a thing about me except what I have allowed you to know."

"Azzy, I told you there is nothing that you tell me that would make me change my mind. When you're ready to tell me I'll be listening."

"Okay," she says as she begins to look out the window.

The car ride to the Chinese restaurant is done in silence and after we get our order from them the car ride back to Azzy's apartment is done in silence. I try to start a conversation with her but to no avail. When we get back to her apartment I carry the Chinese food into her room as I follow behind her. She says hi to Brooke on our way to the bedroom and stops to pick up Brooke's daughter and gives her a kiss on the cheek before playing with her a bit before putting her back down. Watching her interact with Brooke's daughter is adorable. I can tell she really likes kids but I also understand at 18 she isn't ready to be a mom yet. "Are you okay?' I ask as I shut the bedroom door behind me.

"I'm fine," she says, "I was just thinking."

"Are you sure?" I ask laying our food down on the dresser before I walk over to her and cup her cheeks with my hands as I look into her beautiful hazel eyes before I lean in and kiss her lips softly.

"I'm sure," she says with a smile as I break the kiss. "I was really just thinking that's all. Let's eat."

"What if I'm not ready to eat?" I ask with a smile, "and I want to do something else?"

"I'm ready to eat," she says with a smile. "Besides I don't want our food to get cold because we have hot sex with each other," she says as I stroke her cheekbone with my thumb. "As much as I want to," she says as she rubs my chest through my shirt. "I think we should eat and talk maybe hold off on the sex tonight."

"Okay," I say. "We can talk. I'm all about talking," I say with a smile as I kiss her lips once more before I let her go as I go to get our food from her dresser. We take a seat on the floor and I hand her food to her and pull mine out of the bag. I hand her chopsticks and pick up my own. I don't care if we are intimate physically or emotionally but spending my Friday night with her in her bedroom, talking and eating Chinese food works for me. "So what do you want to talk about?" I ask.

"Anything," she says. "I just want to get to know you and know more about you. Let's play 20 questions. I'll ask you a question and then you'll ask me a question even if it is the same question. How does that sound to you?"

"Sounds like a plan," I say with a smile before taking a bite of my food. "I'll answer anything as long as you do the same."

"I'll answer anything too," she says with a smile. "So what is your favorite movie of all time?"

"Easy one, Batman," I say, "what about you?"

"I have to go with 10 Things I Hate About You that movie is my all-time favorite movie. What is your favorite color?"

"Red," I say, "and yours?"

"Black," she says making me smile. It's just like her to like the color black. It fits her personality.

"Okay let me ask you a question," I say.

"Okay," she says with a smile.

"What is your favorite type of music?"

"Hip Hop and pop," she says, "what about you?"

"Rock," I say with a smile. "If you could travel anywhere in the world where would you go?"

"Anywhere in the world I would go to Italy," she says. "I hear it's beautiful in Italy. I'm sure you've traveled pretty much everywhere, where is your favorite place in the world to travel?"

"I have to say Europe. I love going to Europe. It's one of my favorite places to visit. The crowds are awesome and just seeing the beauty is fun."

"Cool," she says with a smile. "When you were younger what did you want to be when you grew up?"

"I wanted to be a firefighter when I was like 5 but as I got older I got the idea that I wanted to be a wrestler and here I am. Of course I had to go through some personal demons to get here but I made it. What about you?"

"I always wanted to be a teacher," she says, "a second grade teacher but right now I want to be a drug and alcohol counselor. I want to find a community college to go to and register for classes so I can start working toward my degree but first I have to get my GED."

"I can find you some places that can help you get your GED and then help you get into college."

"That would be awesome," she says with a smile. "You're so good to me."

"Because I love you," I say with a smile.

"Don't use the l word," she says, "I'm not ready for it."

"It's okay," I say with a smile. "I saw you with Brooke's daughter out there do you like kids?"

"I love kids," she says, "I want to have a lot of kids when I get my life together and I'm stable. I want to have like 5 kids."

"Really?" I ask.

"Really," she says with a smile. "Do you like kids?"

"I love kids," I say with a smile. "I would love to have a big family someday."

"Me too," she says with a smile. "And I want to get married to a great man. What about you? Do you want to get married again?"

"To the right person yes," I say with a smile. "I think I only married before because I got the girl pregnant. I don't think it was actually true love that pushed me to marry her. When I find the right girl I want to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her."

"Do you ever think you'll find the right girl?" she asks with a smile.

"I think I've already found her," I say with a soft smile.

"Oh," she says as her cheeks turn a light shade of pink. "Dean, can I tell you anything?"

"You know that you can," I say. "What's up?" I ask.

"It's about my past. It's about me and the things I did."

"Okay," I say. "If you're ready go ahead and tell me."

"I'm ready," she says as she nods. "Do you remember when I told you about that guy that I fell in love with that got me hooked on heroin?"

"Yes," I say, "I remember."

"Well, he also got me pregnant the night he overdosed and died. We were shooting up and having a wild night together and the next morning I woke up he was dead. A few weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I wanted to have the baby. I was only 16 but I wanted to have the baby but I couldn't kick my heroin habit as hard as I tried. I kept shooting up and it affected my baby. If I would have kept the pregnancy going it would have been born without a brain and I couldn't do that. There would be no function, it would never walk, talk or do anything not even breathe," she says with tears in her eyes, "so I aborted the baby and went on with my life. It was the hardest thing I ever did but I had to do it because I screwed up. Losing the first guy I ever loved and losing my baby really tore me up. I got lost further into heroin. I used it to kill my pain. I was shooting up more than I can count in a day. I spent my life being high pretty much and as soon as the high was coming down I shot up again. I met two guys shortly after that provided me with heroin. They pumped it into me. Their names were Ty and Chris," she says. "They offered to take care of me and by take care of they kept me high and kept pumping me with drugs then they started to use me for sex. To get drugs I needed to have sex with them. I had to do what they wanted me to do to get high and I did it because I needed that fix. Then they started putting me out on the streets to get drugs. They pretty much pimped me out to get their drugs or to pay for their drugs. They rented me out at parties to other guys. It was horrible. I was their sex slave but in return I was getting high. They took care of me. They fed me and clothed me. I was dependent on them just like I was dependent on heroin. I needed my fix so I did what I needed to do. Often times I didn't have a choice. If they wanted me to have sex with a friend or someone I did it just so they could get their drugs or pay their debts. There were times I had trains ran on me; guy after fucking guy just so they could get what they want. They had me work hour after hour having sex with people sometimes I was so raw and sore but they didn't care they made me work because it was their business. I'm not proud of it but when you're high 95% of your life you do what you have to do. And when you need that fix you do what you have to do. It was probably the worst time of my life. I got beat up, I got raped and I got destroyed out on the streets but it was life for me. It was what I knew. I wanted to go back home but the urges for heroin and the other drugs they pumped into my system were just too strong. It made me depend on them. They had the goods and to get it I had to stay with them," she says. "It is really something I'm not proud of but it happened and I'm sorry if I'm not this amazing girl you thought I was and I understand if you don't want me anymore because I'm damaged goods but know that I'm trying to change my life. I'm trying to be a better person. I want it all in life. I want a family, I want a husband, I want a job and I want kids. I want a good life not a life on the streets. I'm sorry, Dean," she says with tears streaming down her cheeks.

I don't know what to say. My heart breaks for her. She went through a lot. I have heard and known of women being a sex slave for men to get drugs but she was just a little girl. She was 16 years old. She was just a baby. They turned her out before she even had a chance to live her life. "Azzy," I say wiping her tears away. "You have nothing to be sorry about. I know what it's like out on the streets. You were a baby. You were only 16 years old. You did what you thought you needed to do. We all have a past but our past doesn't determine our futures. I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I'm sorry that you had to do everything you were forced to do. I'm really sorry. You should have never had to go through that or deal with any of that. I'm sorry, Azalea."

"You don't hate me? And you don't think I'm trash?"

"I could never think like that. I don't care what you did in the past. I don't care about who you were. I could never hate you and you're not trash, Azzy. I only care about who you are right now and who you're trying to be. I can't hold your past against you but it pains me because you're so beautiful and you're so smart. You were so young and they turned you out before you even got to know what life was about. I can't even imagine how hard it was for you."

"It wasn't hard. I hated it but like I said I spent the last couple years hooked on heroin and high. I was in a zone. I knew it was happening but I didn't stop it. I couldn't. I needed the drugs. Getting arrested was the best thing that ever happened and when Ty and Chris walked away that was the best thing for me because now I can get my life together. I just wish I didn't do what I did."

"I know," I say as I wrap her up in my arms. "but it's okay. You won't ever have to do that again. No one here is going to turn you out on the streets. You're going to have a good life and you're going to get the future that you want whether it's with me or if we don't work out another guy. I'm here to help you remember. I'm not here to judge you for the things you've done but to help you better yourself and to help you through your urges while loving the shit out of you, Azalea. I'm not going anywhere. I'm here and I'm going to be here. You don't have to worry about me leaving you."

"Dean," she says snuggling into my chest, "that's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. I love you," she says as she looks up at me with those beautiful eyes and a smile on her face.

"I love you too, Azalea," I say with a smile before I lean down and kiss her lips softly.

 ***A/N: So what do you think of Azzy going on birth control? Is it the best thing for her and Dean right now? What do you think of Dean paying for it? Was it smart for him to tell Tessa that him and Azzy are together? What do you think of Dean telling Azzy he loves her? What about them getting to know each other better? WHy do you think Azzy is so scared to go to Dean's house? What do you think of Azzy's past? Are you surprised Dean stayed despite what she told him? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	7. Good Morning Beautiful

*** Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank you so much***

The sun shines into Azzy's bedroom waking me up. I grab my cell phone off the nightstand and see that it's only 8:30 in the morning. I put it back down and look at Azzy. She's beautiful as she sleeps. Her curly dark brown hair around her face as I brush it back so I can study her beautiful face. Her naturally tanned skin is nice and smooth as I stroke her cheek with my finger. Her full lips in a straight line as she sleeps and her small button nose sitting perfectly in the middle of her face. She's perfect. I could watch her sleep all day. I wrap my arm around her waist as I push my naked body up against hers. I kiss her neck softly as she starts to stir. I kiss her neck once more and she moans before she turns to face me. Her pretty hazel green eyes looking at me as they flicker open. "Good morning, Beautiful, how was your night?"

"Good," she says with a smile. "How was yours?"

"Wonderful," I say with a smile. It's been a couple weeks since Azzy told me about her past and together we've been working through it. "Are you feeling better today?" I ask knowing that she wasn't feeling her best the night before with a sore throat.

"Yeah," she says with a smile as she runs her hand through my hair. "You look so sexy first thing in the morning."

"I think you look pretty sexy too," I say with a smile before I kiss her lips softly. "So what's on your agenda today?"

"I don't know," she says. "Do you want to be lazy and stay in bed all day, making love to one another?"

I smile at her and say, "as fun as that sounds and as much as I would love to do that I have to go to my mom's today."

"Your mom's?" she asks.

"Yeah, she wants to see me. I haven't seen her for a few weeks. She wants to talk to me and I think I'm going to take her to lunch."

"Oh," she says as she snuggles up to me. "I hope you have fun with your mom."

"Would you like to come?"

"You want me to meet your mom?" I ask.

"Yeah," I say with a smile. "I'm crazy about you and I want you two to meet each other. You don't have to if you don't want to but I wanted to invite you to come along with us."

"I'm not the kind of girl you bring home to meet your mom trust me."

"If you weren't that kind of girl I wouldn't have asked," I say with a smile. "So what do you say?"

"Okay," she says with a smile. "I will go."

"I'm glad," I say with a smile before I kiss her lips softly. "Even though we can't make love to each other all day will you settle for a few hours this morning before we go to meet my mom?"  
"Sounds good, Baby," she says with a smile before I roll her over onto her back, towering over her, looking into her hazel green eyes with my blue eyes. I give her a smile as she smiles up at me with lust in her eyes. I lower myself onto her and kiss her lips passionately as I begin to make love to her.

The morning is spent making love to one another before we take a shower together where we once again make love before we get ourselves ready to go to meet my mom for lunch. I hope that she likes Azzy despite her past. I stand in the living room waiting for her as I wear a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt with my black leather jacket over it. She walks out of the bedroom looking beautiful. Her curly brown hair is pulled up into a ponytail she is wearing a pink t-shirt with a black cami underneath and a pair of jeans with holes on the knees. She's filling the shirt out well. She's put on a little bit of weight in the last month that we've been together. When I first met her she was bony and fragile I was almost scared to touch her but now she's put some meat onto her bones and she's not looking sickly thin anymore. It's because she's not using anymore so she's gaining all the weight she lost doing heroin. She looks great. "You look good," I say with a smile as she walks over to me and I wrap my arm around her waist.

"Think your mom will like me?" she asks.

"I'm sure she will," I say with a smile but I'm not really sure what my mom is going to think about her. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah," she says with a smile. She looks healthy which makes me happy. She is definitely in a better place now. We start to walk to the apartment door after I grab my keys. She holds onto my hand as we walk. She stops me and says, "Dean?"

"Yes?" I ask.

"Can we go to your house tonight?"

"You want to come to my house?" I ask with a smile.

"Yeah," she says with a smile. "I think I'm ready."

"Okay," I say with a smile, "if you feel that you're ready we can go to my house. You'll like it I promise."

"Okay," she says with a smile as I start walking again. We walk out the front door and she locks the apartment door from the outside before we make our way to my car. I'm glad she asked to come back to my house tonight. I haven't been there for a few weeks and I need to be back there I kind of miss it. We get into my car and she turns on the radio playing the latest hip hop music as I take her hand into mine, kissing it softly as I pull out from in front of her building. We rap and sing together on our way to the restaurant. I love riding in the car with her. She makes it so much more fun.

I pull into a parking space at the restaurant and I can tell that Azzy is nervous as we get out of the car. She holds onto my hand tightly. I kiss her cheek softly before I open the door for her. "You'll be all right. My mom isn't horrible," I say, "I'm sure she's going to like you. Just relax."

"Okay," she says nervously. I open the door for her letting her walk in before me. I spot my mom sitting at a table by herself so when the hostess asks if she can help us I tell her that I already see my mom and we can get there ourselves.

We walk over to the table my mom is sitting at. "Mom," I say with a smile as she looks up from the menu and looks at me with the blue eyes I inherited from her. I inherited all of my looks from her.

"Dean," she says with a smile as she stands up. "How are you?" she asks giving me a hug.

"Good," I say with a smile as Azzy stands next to me. "How are you?"

"I'm doing well," she says with a smile. "It's good to finally see you," she says with a smile. "You're looking good."

"Thanks," I say with a smile. "Mom, there is someone I want you to meet."

"Okay," she says with a smile as she looks at Azzy. "Who is this beautiful young woman?" she asks.

"This is my girlfriend Azzy," I say with a smile.

"Hello, Azzy," she says with a smile. "It's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too," says Azzy as she shakes her hand.

"I'm Susan," says my mom with a smile.

"Hi, Susan," she says with a smile.

"Please have a seat both of you," says my mom as I smile at her and she smiles at me. I pull Azzy's chair out for her to take a seat and take a seat next to her as the waiter comes over to take our drinks order before we look over the menu. "So, Azzy," says my mom. "I have heard a lot about you," she says.

"You have?" she asks looking up from the menu as I keep my arm wrapped around her shoulders stroking her shoulder softly. "I hope all good things."

"I have," she says, "Dean has told me a lot about you and then I have heard a lot about you from Richard. He says you're a great waitress."

"Thanks," she says with a smile.

"I'm happy that Dean has finally found someone. He seems to be very happy with you," says my mom.

"She does make me very happy," I say with a smile.

"So Azzy, are you from around here or from somewhere else?"

"I'm actually from Tennessee," she says in her accent. "I moved to Cincinnati not too long ago."

"Oh," she says, "so you're a southern girl?"

"Yes," says Azzy with a smile. "I guess you could say that."

"What do you think of Cincinnati so far?"

"I like it," she says with a smile as the waiter brings our drinks to us before taking our food orders. "I mean I really do like Cincinnati. I plan on staying for a while."

"That's good to hear," she says with a smile. "So what are your parents like?"

"I don't talk to my parents. They kicked me out when I was 16 years old and I haven't talked to them since. I would like to but right now I can't handle that."

"I see," says my mom before taking a drink of her water. "So you work for Richard?" she asks.

"Yes, I do," says Azzy before taking a sip of her water.

"Are you in school or anything?"

"Dean is actually helping me find a place for me to get my GED then I plan to go to college after I have that so I can take up Drug and alcohol counseling."

"That's good," she says, "And how old are you?"

"18," she says.

"18? Dean is 29 years old," she says with shock. I can tell she doesn't like the age difference. "You don't think you're a bit young for Dean do you?"

"I don't think so," says Azzy. "Age is nothing but a number and Dean is a good guy. I like him very much."

"Okay," she says, "how did you two meet?"

Azzy looks at me and I take this one. "She's a member of my group, Mom."

"Oh so she's in your group," she says, "is that allowed?"

"It's my group," I say, "I can make my own rules."

"I just thought that you couldn't get involved with a member."

"I probably shouldn't but Azzy is a great girl. I like her very much. I couldn't pass up the opportunity."

"Well, I don't want you to get into trouble."

"I won't, Mom," I say, "Everything will be all right."

"I hope so," says my mom. "So Azzy, that name is very different."

"It's actually a nickname," she says, "My real name is Azalea everyone just calls me Azzy."

"I see," says my mom, "Azalea is a beautiful name just like the flower."

"Thank-you," she says with a smile as the waiter brings our food.

"Are you and Dean living together?" she asks.

"Not exactly," says Azzy, "he stays at my apartment sometimes but we're not really living together."

"Okay," says my mom. "Are you two being careful?"

"Yes, Mom," I say before Azzy can answer her. "I'm not going to discuss that aspect of my life with you and neither will Azzy. We are two consenting adults doing what we want to do. It's not anyone's business but ours."

"Okay," she says with a smile. "So how is wrestling going?"

"Good," I say with a smile. "I have a feud with Cesaro coming up soon for Survivor Series but everything is good."

"Any chance you're going for the championship soon?"

"Not in the immediate future," I say, "I'm hoping that by next year I will have my chance at the title."

"I hope so too," she says with a smile.

Lunch with my mom goes pretty well. She seems to like Azzy which is a good sign. I don't think she likes that she's so young but at least she likes her a little bit. They seemed to get along the rest of our lunch together and my mom did invite Azzy over to her house for Thanksgiving in a couple weeks. I'm not sure if Azzy is going to go for that because she has a thing about going to strange places she doesn't know. I'm going to assume it's because of what she's been through. She has never really explained it to me.

After lunch we stop by Azzy's apartment so she can pick up a couple outfits to wear the next couple days before we go to my house. I pull into my gated community and drive to the very end of the road where my private house is located. My gate keeper sees me coming and opens the gate to my driveway. I wave at him as I drive through and watch the gates close behind me in the rearview mirror. I drive up the long driveway before my house comes into sight. "This is your house?" asks Azzy as the house comes into sight.

"Yeah," I say with a smile. "I told you it was big."

"Wow," she says with a smile as I pull into the garage next to my other car. She gets out of the car and looks around and I smile at her. "This garage is as bigger than our kitchen," she says with a smile.

"Wait till you see the inside of the house," I say with a smile. As we walk to the door she stops. "Are you okay?" I ask.

"I just," she says, "It's hard for me."

"It's okay. I'm the only one here I promise and no one can get in here that isn't wanted. It's going to be okay," I say putting my hand out to her. "It's fine," I say encouraging her.

"Okay," she says as she takes my hand. I open the door and we walk into my kitchen. She looks around the kitchen in awe. "Wow, this is huge," she says with a smile as she looks around my kitchen. "I've never seen a kitchen this big before."

"There's more," I say with a smile. "Would you like to take a tour?"

"I guess," she says nervously and I can tell she's still uncomfortable about being in my house. Even though she is uncomfortable she follows me through the house as I show her the living room, my game room, the bathroom on the first floor and the dining room. She even follows me up the stairs as I show her the master bedroom and the master bathroom before I show her the extra 5 bedrooms in the house that I hope one day I can fill with children. I even show her one of the rooms that is decorated for my daughter even though I will never see her it's worth a try. I still think about her every day. After we tour the upstairs I take her downstairs to see the backyard where my in-ground pool is closed up for the winter and show her around my large backyard.

"Wow," she says as we make our way into the kitchen through the patio door. "All this just for you?"

"Yeah," I say with a smile. "Would you like a drink?"

"No thank-you," she says, "you have a nice house."

"Thanks," I say, "it gets lonely here sometimes."

"No wonder it's so big. I would get lonely too. It's probably as big as my entire apartment building."

"Probably," I say with a smile as we walk into the living room. I guide her over to the couch and she takes a seat with me on the couch. I wrap my arm around her as she leans into me resting her head on my chest. She takes my hand into hers intertwining her fingers. "So you like it here?"

"So far," she says with a smile as I kiss the top of her head. "You miss your daughter don't you?"

"Every day," I say. "I just want to see her. I want to be in her life so badly but my ex-wife won't let me. I'm not good enough to be a dad."

"I think you would make a great dad," she says making me smile. "What's her name?"

"McKenna," I say with a smile. "McKenna Jade Ambrose."

"So she carries your last name but you never get to see her? I'm sure her mom has a lot of explaining to do with that. Are you on her birth certificate?"

"Yes," I say. "I was there the day she was born. I signed it right along with her mother. My name is on that birth certificate."

"Then you're entitled to see her," says Azzy. "You're her father. You have rights to her."

"I've missed almost 10 years of her life. I saw her once when she was 6 years old. She was beautiful. She was very beautiful. She looks like her mom," I say as I think about the last time I saw my daughter. "She had this beautiful curly brown hair much like yours," I say playing with her hair, "and she had these big deep brown eyes and this beautiful tan skin. She is beautiful. I never saw her again after that. Her mom didn't want me in her life. She told me to leave and I left. It was the biggest mistake of my life. She doesn't care that I changed. I wasn't good enough to be McKenna's father."

"She can't kick you out of her life like that. It's not fair to you," she says as she looks up at me with her hazel green eyes. "You have a room decorated for her. Did you ever think about going to get some type of visitation with her?"

"No," I say. "When I saw her when she was 6 years old she was calling another man daddy and my ex-wife told me she was better off without me. I listened to her and walked away. I never should have walked away, Azzy. I want to go back and see her. I want to have some type of a relationship with my daughter. I do deserve that much. I fucked up I realize that but her mom's not perfect either. She got high with me all the time before we made McKenna. I was the bad person because I couldn't stop. She promised me she would wait for me while I was in rehab and that we could be a family when I got out. When I got out she was gone with McKenna. It took me years to find them and when I finally did, Azzy, McKenna had no idea who I was. She was calling another man daddy. It killed me. I may not have been the best man but I cleaned my shit up and got myself together for McKenna. I made my mistakes but I also learned from them. Her mom didn't understand that. She thought I would never change even though I came out of rehab and was sober. I wasn't her father anymore. It broke my heart. I would give anything to have her back in my life but her mom is never going to let me. Maybe she is right. Maybe McKenna is better off without me."

"She doesn't know you," says Azzy, "how could she be better off without someone she doesn't know? Your wife took her from you and that wasn't fair. You're not a bad guy. I've seen asshole fathers but, Dean you're not one of them. That little girl would be lucky to have you in her life. You should fight to get some visitation with her."

"I can't," I say, "McKenna is better off without me and better off where she is. I don't know how to be a father. I just know that I have a daughter. I wouldn't know how to take care of her or what to do with her. She's better where she is and I'm better where I am. It still breaks my heart knowing there is a piece of me out there that I will never know."

"But you can get to know her," she says.

"No, Azzy, I can't. She's better without me. I love her enough to let her be with the man she thinks is her father. I don't' want to disrupt her life."

"Okay," she says, "but one day, Dean, you're going to be a father and the woman you love isn't going to leave you. I think your ex-wife is a bitch for giving up on you. You didn't deserve that. You're going to be a great father someday."

"I hope I get the chance," I say as I kiss the top of her head.

"Dean," she says. "You will get that chance one day. I promise."

"I love you," I say with a smile.

"I love you too," she says as I hold her in my arms. I don't want to let her go. I like having her with me. I'm not sure what it is but I can't let her go. I want to be with her as much as I can. She understands me and I understand her. I feel like we are meant to be together. I would definitely have a future with her if she'd let me.

 ***A/N: What did you think of Dean asking Azzy to meet his mom? Was it too soon? What do you think did his mom like her or not really? What do you think about Azzy asking to go to Dean's house? Is she getting comfortable? What do you think is wrong with Azzy that she won't go to strange places is there more to what she told Dean? What do you think of Dean having a room decorated for McKenna? Do you think Dean should go for visitation of his daughter or is it too late? Do you think Dean is scared to try to go for McKenna? What do you think about him opening up to Azzy about his daughter? Is there a future for these two? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	8. Take Me Away

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much***

 ***WARNING: CHapter contains sensitive material. Read at your own risk. :)**

 **DEAN's POINT OF VIEW:**

"Look who it is," says Seth as I walk into catering after getting off the phone with Azzy for the night. She is working a late shift and I wanted to talk to her before my show started. "It's lover boy," he says as I take a seat at the table with him and Roman.

"Shut up," I say with a smile.

"How's the woman doing?" asks Roman with a smile.

"She's good," I say, "she's working."

"Cool," he says, "you must really like her."

"I don't just like her," I say, "I love her. She's amazing."

"So you are in love," says Seth. "We told you to give it a chance and see how great it turned out for you."

"You were right," I say. "She's great. We spend all my time off together and just hang out."

"Sounds fun," says Roman, "so when do we get to meet this girl? I haven't even seen a picture of her."

"You know how private I am," I say, "but I have a couple pictures of her and me on my phone. Here," I say showing him a picture of Azzy and me together.

"Wow," says Roman. "She is hot. I'm sorry but she is. Damn Bro," he says.

"She's smokin'," says Seth with a smile. "You know how to pick em," he says with a smile as he hands me my phone. "And she's 18?"

"She's 18," I say with a smile. "I'm hoping that she can do some traveling with me in the near future. Being away from her is hard."

"It does suck," says Roman. "I hate being away from my wife when I'm on the road. It gets easier. This is the first relationship you've had since your wife isn't it?"

"Yeah," I say, "I just wasn't ready to have a relationship after I got out of rehab and found out she left me. I never wanted to trust anyone again. That's why I started the ring rat path, no strings attached," I say. "You know what I mean?"

"What made you fall for this girl though? You went 10 years without a real relationship, why this girl?" asks Seth.

"I don't know. I can't describe. She's wild and I like that. She's beautiful and she's smart. She's a little low on herself sometimes but we're working on that. She's amazing. She makes me happy. She makes me want to enjoy life again. She gave me a reason to smile and be happy."

"Wow," says Roman. "I have never seen you like this when it came to a woman. You are usually taking them home from the bar and sending them out of the hotel room the next morning. Now you're actually in love. Is our Dean growing up?"

"I'm just realizing that I can love someone and have someone love me," I say. "Azzy is great."

"Sounds like it. Is she working for your brother?"

"Yeah," I say, "she seems to like it."

"That's good and she's staying clean?"

"Of course," I say, "She is trying to get her life together and I am helping her."

"That's good," says Roman. "I don't even have to ask this because I already know. Have you slept with her yet?"

"The first night we went out I was in her apartment. The sex is pretty good. All right the sex is amazing."

Seth lets out a laugh and says, "that's always good."

"No wonder Dean is so hooked on this girl because of the sex. We know how much he likes sex."

"I love sex as much as you two do," I say, "but there is more to our relationship than just great sex. We get each other. We've been through a lot and we understand the troubles and the pain of drug addiction. She was kicked out of her house when she was 16 years old. Then she fell in love with some guy she met off the streets that got her hooked on heroin. He died in bed next to her it really fucked her up. I mean I can't imagine waking up to someone that I love lying dead next to me. Could you imagine the psychological trauma you would endure? And then on top of it the guy got her pregnant and then she had to abort the baby because of her addiction and her usage of heroin the baby wouldn't have had a brain. Then she was alone and two guys took advantage of her and sold her to guys to get drugs or to pay drug debts. She's very skiddish around people especially men that she doesn't know."

"Damn," says Roman. "That's messed up. I couldn't imagine all that. That poor girl went through hell."

"And she's only 18 years old. She was turned out before she even turned 17 years old. It's sad but she's getting her life together. She is going to take classes to get her GED and she's going to be going to college to take up drug and alcohol counseling. I love her."

"I can tell," says Seth. "So is she the one you'll marry?"

"I'm going to marry her," I say. "There's not a doubt in my mind. I love her. I want to marry her someday and I want to have kids with her."

"Isn't it a little soon to talk about marriage?" asks Roman.

"When you know you know," I say. "I know it's soon but I know she's the one."

"Okay," says Roman, "I just think you should cool it a little bit because you don't really know her."

"I know enough about her," I say.

"But knowing enough isn't really knowing her. I don't want to see you get hurt, Dean."

"I'm not going to get hurt. She's trying to talk me into having a relationship with McKenna."

"Wow," says Roman. "That's serious."

"I would love nothing more than to have a relationship with McKenna even though she's almost 11 years old I would love to have a relationship with her. It's not fair how her mom took her from me and won't let me see her. It's not fair. She carries MY last name and my name is on that birth certificate. I am entitled to being her father but with wrestling and everything she has something else against me. What would I even do with a kid? I don't know the first thing about being a father."

"Kids aren't that complicated," says Roman. "I love my daughter to death. She is the best part of me. Watching her grow up is the best thing ever. You just have to understand them and get to know them. I'm sure you would be a great father. Do you think you're going to get involved in McKenna's life?"

"I want to but I'm scared I'm going to screw up again and lose her. I'm also scared that I won't be a good dad to her. Not to mention the fact she has been calling another man daddy for the last 10 ½ years. Cassie never gave me the chance to be her dad. She just assumed I would never change and took off. I want to be in McKenna's life is it too late?"

"I wouldn't say that it's too late," he says, "but she does have ammunition against you because you haven't been there for her for 10 years. That could be the only thing they hold against you. They could also use your drug addiction too but you've been sober for 10 years and you run a recovery group. That would be thrown out quickly. It's you being an absent father that could make the ultimate decision."

"But that's not my fault. Cassie kept her from me. She told me I didn't belong in her life and she was better without me. My own daughter doesn't know who I am."

"I know," says Roman. "If you're going to do this go for it but think if it is the best thing for McKenna."

"Knowing her REAL father is the best thing but at 10 years old she has been with this other guy most of her life and looks at him as a father."

"And you're her biological father," says Roman, "you have rights to her. Her mom can't just keep her from you. If you want to do this then do it."

"I want to," I say with a smile. "My life is finally in a good place and I am happy. I think it's time to go to get some type of visitation with McKenna. I'll find a lawyer when I get home to get this started. Cassie can't keep her from me forever."

"Of course she can't," says Roman. "You're right. You're in a good place right now and you're healthy. You live in a stable environment and you have a great job. There is nothing she can hold against you. I hope this works out for you."

"Thanks," I say with a smile. "I really want to bring McKenna home."

"I know, Bro," says Roman with a smile.

 **AZZY's POINT OF VIEW:**

The diner is crazy tonight but it is a typical Friday night. The dinner rush was crazy and stressful. I messed up on a couple orders, spilled drinks on someone and I got yelled at by customers it hasn't been a good night. The rush didn't die down until about a half hour ago. I went back into the back to help clean up the dishes for the night since it was so slow out on the floor. "Azzy," says Richard as he comes up to me as I'm washing some dishes.

"Yeah?" I ask. "I'm sorry about tonight. I didn't mean to mix up those orders and I didn't mean to spill those drinks. It was an accident. You can take it out of my pay."

"Azzy, it's fine," he says with a smile. "We have all had one of those nights. It's okay. You made a couple mistakes. We all make mistakes," he says, "don't even stress about it."

"Those people were really upset," I say.

"They'll get over it. There are bigger problems in the world than worrying about messing up a meal or spilling a couple drinks. We took care of it," he says, "you don't have to worry about it."

"Are you sure? Because like I said you can take it out of my paycheck."

"No," he says with his smile that is identical to Dean's, "I'm not taking anything out of your paycheck. It's okay."

"All right," I say.

"But there are two gentleman out there that requested you personally," he says.

"Two gentlemen?" I ask.

"Yes," he says, "and they're asking for you."

"Okay," I say. "What table?"

"Table 7," he says with a smile. "I'll take over here you go take care of them."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," he says with a nod, "go ahead."

"Okay," I say with a smile before I wash my hands and dry them off before picking up my tablet to take their order. I smile as I make my way out from the back and make my way over to Table 7. My heart jumps into my throat when I see Tyler and Christian sitting there. "What are you two doing here?" I ask. "I thought the agreement was you two weren't allowed anywhere near me."

"Azzy," says Tyler with his seducing smile. "When did we ever follow the rules?" he asks.

"Never," I say, "what can I help you with?"

"You wanna hang out?" asks Tyler.

"No," I say. "I don't."

"Come on, Azzy," he says. "We've got some Smack and Pineapple. We also have Snowball come Chase the Dragon with us," he says.

"Ty, that's not me anymore. I don't live that life anymore. I'm trying to get my shit together."

"Come on, Azzy, when did you get so uptight?"

"The day you two assholes left me hanging, I almost went down for you."

"But you didn't. What did you get?"

"100 hours of community service," I say.

"That's a slap on the wrist," says Chris. "You can come chase the dragon with us. It will be like old times."

"No," I say, "Look, I'm trying to work. If you're not going to order anything then leave."

"Come on, Azzy," says Ty, "you used to be fun. Remember what it was like hanging out with us. We took care of you."

"You didn't take care of me," I say, "you pumped me up with drugs, made me dependent and then put me out on the streets so that we could feed our addiction. You turned me out."

"No more of that," says Ty. "I promise. We're set for a while. We're in Cinci for a few weeks. You should hang out with us."

"I don't think so," I say. "That's not a good idea."

"Come on, Azzy," he says. "Remember what it feels like to get high. Remember," he says, "hang out with us."

"I'll hang out with you but no drugs," I say, "I won't do drugs."

"Deal," he says.

"So can I take your order?"

"No we just wanted to see you. You're looking really good," he says with a smile and his grey eyes look at me. "Really good," he says. "I know you said no drugs but what about sex? Want to hook up with Chris and I tonight like old times?"

"No," I say. "I have a boyfriend."

"Well, damn," he says, "what he don't know won't hurt him."

"I'm not cheating on my boyfriend. Look I have to get back to work, order a drink or two make this look legit and pick me up at 11 when I get off. Meet me down the street by the salon. My boss is my boyfriend's brother. I don't want him getting suspicious."

"All right," says Ty with a smile before they each order a drink to make it look legit.

At 11 Ty and Chris pick me up from outside the salon down the street from the diner. As soon as I get into the car I can smell the weed and it's making me crave. Chris lights up a blunt as Ty drives. He takes a few hits before he passes it back to me. I try to fight the urge but I can't. I take a few hits and feel like I am in Heaven before handing it to Ty. We smoke the blunt together before we arrive at an abandoned house not too far from my apartment building. Ty parks the car and we all get out. We walk into the house and it's filled with furniture from the previous owners no doubt and it's dirty. It's like a typical squatter house. There are holes in the wall, dust everywhere and the furniture is dirty and it smells. "Make yourself comfortable," says Chris.

"Okay," I say before I take a seat on the couch. "So where have you two been?"

"You know us, Az," says Ty as he gets some drugs out of his book bag and a few things he needs for the drugs. I am feeling uncomfortable as bags of heroin sit in front of me, bags of coke and some drugs laced with heroin. "We've been around. What about you," he says opening a bag of coke. "Sure you don't want to try some coke?"

"I'm good," I say. "What about me?"

"What have you been up to?"

"I've been seeing some guy," I say with a smile.

"Is he a good guy?" asks Chris.

"Yeah, he's an amazing guy. I love him."

"Wow," says Ty, "the L word. It must be pretty serious. Where did you meet him?"

"He actually runs the group I am in for my recovery."

"Damn, Az," says Ty, "you know how to pick them." I watch him pour some coke onto the table before he does a line. He snorts it in and then shakes his head before taking another line before Christian joins him. "So is it serious with you two?"

"Yeah," I say with a smile as I watch them do lines of coke. My mouth is salivating at it. I can almost feel what it feels like to do a line of coke. I can feel the high that I get from doing coke. I can't hold back anymore and say, "I want to do a couple lines."

"All right," says Ty before giving me a high five.

I shamelessly do two lines of coke before I sit back and let the high take over me. I want more. I need more so I do another line before Ty gets into the heroin. He puts some smack into a syringe before I watch him shoot up. He lets out a sigh of relief as he pumps it into his vein. He gets two more syringes ready and filled with smack before he hands one to Chris and then one to me. I want to do this so bad but I fight with myself. I struggle to resist till I can resist no more. I take the syringe and inject it between my toes and close my eyes as I let it all take over me. I can't remember much more of the night after this but I know I end up staying at the house with Ty and Chris; high and enjoying myself, letting loose and just enjoying the moment before I have to shoot up again and again after that before I finally pass out for the night.

 ***A/N: What do you think of Dean's love for Azzy? Does he really love her? What do you think about him going to get some visitation with McKenna? What did you think about Chris and Ty coming back into Azzy's life? DId they just come back to cause trouble? What do you think Azzy's reason is for falling back into the drug path with them? Why did she give in so easily? What do you think is going to happen now that she is no longer sober? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	9. Torn

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much***

 ***WARNING: Contains sensitive material read at your own risk.***

"I should really go to work today," I say as I pump some more heroin into my system in between my toes to hide the track marks from Dean when he sees me again.

"Fuck work," says Ty with a smile before he does a line of coke. "You don't need that shit, Azzy. You can make money working for us."

"I'm not working for you," I say. "I'm not doing that anymore. I have a boyfriend."

"You didn't mind sucking me off last night," says Chris, "so you could get a little pineapple."

"That was different," I say, "I'm not sleeping with guys because you want to buy drugs or you want to pay your debts. Figure out how to do that yourself," I say.

"Come on," says Chris as he rubs my thigh softly. "Remember the good old days, Azzy when you took care of us. Remember that?"

"I remember," I say as I light a blunt. "I remember you two turning me out when I was 16 years old too."

"That was business," says Chris as I take a hit of the blunt then pass it to him. "You're older now and you're hotter," he says passing it back to me. "You don't have to work for us but at least take care of us like you used to."

"I can't do that," I say as I take a hit. "I told you I have a boyfriend that's been trying to get in touch with me," I say looking at my phone.

"Where is your boyfriend?" asks Ty.

"Working," I say, "he travels for his job."

"Oh damn, so he's never home?" he asks.

"Not much but a couple days a week."

"Damn," says Chris as he wraps his arm around my shoulders as I pass him the blunt. "So I bet you're lonely. I know your sex drive, Azzy. I bet it is real tough huh?"

"I'm good," I say. "I'm really good."

"Come on," says Chris as he takes a hit before passing it to Ty. "Let me hit it just once," he says. "I miss it."

"No, Chris," I say as I move away from him. "I think I should leave. It's time for me to go to work anyway."

I stand up to get ready to go to work. I want to go to my apartment to take a shower since I haven't had one in a couple days and to get myself together before my shift. Chris stands up with me and pulls me back as I try to walk away. "Maybe you're forgetting who I am, Azzy," he says forcefully. "You know I take what I want and I want you," he says. "So we can do it the hard way or we can do it the easy way, the choice is yours, Azzy. What's it going to be?" he asks as I try to get out of his grasp but I can't. He holds me tighter and pulls me harder as I try to escape from him. "Get over here," he says as he pulls me back again and throws me down on the couch. "I guess we're doing this the hard way," he says pulling his shirt off and throwing it onto the floor.

"Chris, please don't do this," I say as he starts to unbutton his pants. He pulls them down exposing his boxers. "You don't want to do this," I say with tears in my eyes. "Please don't do this."

"Shut up," he says as he pulls me up ripping the t-shirt I'm wearing off my body. "I didn't want to do it this way, Azzy but you gave me no choice. I want you and I'm taking you. Ty, you want in?" he asks before tearing away my white lace underwear. He pulls his boxers down exposing his large and thick erection.

"Fuck yeah," says Ty as he puts out the blunt. He quickly strips out of his clothes as Chris forces me to take him in my mouth, forcing himself deep into my mouth as I suck him off. He makes me choke as he pushes himself deeper. Ty joins in and his hands are all over my body, violating me and touching me in ways I don't want to be touched. I start to cry and choke as Chris forces himself deeper into my mouth before pulling himself out.

Ty and Chris force themselves on me. Chris slams his erection deep into my sex, roughly making me cry out in pain as Ty forces himself in my mouth. Chris is relentless as he tears me and bruises me. Tears falling from my eyes as they rape me, Chris making his movements hard and rough as Ty is roughly making love to my mouth. Chris keeps up his movements making them rougher as he goes. He slams himself deep inside of me one last time as he explodes deep inside of me before he pulls out and Ty takes over. It is never-ending. When Ty finishes his assault Chris starts again and then Ty goes one more time after him. I don't know how long it lasts but by the time it is over I am sore, broken, bruised and destroyed. I'm left Raw and bleeding. Tears falling from my eyes as I lay on the couch sobbing and just when I think it's over a couple of their friends show up and it all starts again. Guy after guy and I just feel like I want to die. Between rounds Ty and Chris make sure I shoot up and snort a little coke before the next round. They keep me high and keep me ready for the next guy.

The day turns into the evening and it's finally over as the sun fades from the sky. I'm left on the couch ready to die in my own misery, my own agony and my own despair. I finally find the strength to get up from the couch but as I stand on my feet my legs are weak and I can barely walk. I stumble as I go to get my clothes as Ty and Chris are passed out on the floor. I cry as I get myself dressed. I grab my phone and grab my purse before I walk out the door of this abandoned building. I start to try to find my way back to my apartment. It's a long walk and my body can't handle it. I have to stop to take breaks to gain my strength. I have never been so happy to reach my apartment as I am in this moment. I make my way into my building and make my way up to my door.

"Where the hell were you?" asks Brooke as I stumble into the apartment and shut the door behind me. "You didn't call me or anything. I've been worried about you. I haven't heard from you for 3 days, Azzy, where were you?"

"I was hanging out," I say, "just relax," I say.

"You look like hell," she says.

"I feel like hell," I say. "I'm fine."

"Were you using again?"

"No," I say, "I was just hanging out with some friends."

"The only friends you know are Ty and Chris are they back in town, Azzy?"

"I did see them," I say.

"Well, damn it, Azzy that wasn't a good idea. What were you doing with them?"

"Chill out, I was just relaxing," I say.

"Chill out? You're coming back in here after being gone for 3 days and then looking like someone beat the shit out of you and you want me to chill out. Your boyfriend has been looking for you. Your boss has been looking for you. You didn't show up to work for three days, Azzy. He wants to know where you are and Dean he's going nuts because he can't get in touch with you and hasn't heard from you. He's on his way over here."

I let out a laugh and say, "y'all worry too much. I'm fine," I say as I sit on the couch as Kylie is crawling around on the floor. "Dean is coming over now?"

"He's on his way. It wouldn't hurt you to shower before he gets here and fix yourself up. I know you were using again, Azzy. You're high right now."

"I am not high," I say as I stand up. "I'm going to take a shower. Tell Dean I'll be out if he comes before I'm out."

"All right," she says as she grabs me by the arm. "We had a deal, Azalea. You stay away from the drugs and you can live here. Why are you going to go fuck up everything you have right now because of those two idiots?"

"I'm not screwing anything up. Get off of me," I say snatching my arm from her. "I have to go take a shower. My boyfriend is coming over."

"Please you look horrible get yourself together, Azalea."

"Stop calling me that," I say, "you're not my mother."

"You surely need one. You should have had one instead of them kicking you out of the house because you are out of control."

"Whatever," I say before I walk to my room and grab a towel and a washcloth to take a shower.

I walk into the bathroom and start the water in the shower. I strip out of my clothes still sore and bruised. I step into the water and let the hot water hit my body. It feels so relaxing. I clean myself up and make myself presentable for Dean. I stand in the shower as my high starts to fall and I start to sober up. I turn the water off and get out of the shower. I grab my towel and wrap it around me and wrap another towel around my hair before I step out onto the floor. I walk to the sink and brush my teeth. I feel much better as I walk out of the bathroom and make my way into the bedroom. I dig in my drawer to find a pair of sweatpants that belong to Dean and one of his T-shirts. I throw them on before I blow dry my hair and throw it up into a messy bun. I lay down on my bed and turn on the TV as I wait for Dean to show up.

A few minutes later Dean walks into the room and I sit up in the bed. "Azalea," he says with relief as he takes off his leather jacket. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I say as he makes his way over to the bed.

He presses his lips against mine and kisses me softly and deeply. "I was so worried about you. I tried calling you and you didn't answer your phone and then you weren't answering my texts."

"I'm sorry," I say, "I didn't mean to upset you or make you worry."

"You're okay and that's all that matters," he says as he climbs into bed next to me. "Richard says you haven't been to work for 3 days what's going on there?" he asks.

"I just wasn't feeling well," I say, "so I didn't make it to work."

"You should have called him. I had to talk him into not firing you. He's really upset, Az," he says wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm sure," I say as I lean into him. I take in his scent and I feel like I am home. "I didn't mean to get people upset."

"It's okay, Azzy so where were you? Brooke says you weren't here?"

"Oh, I was just hanging out with a couple friends. Everything is good."

"What friends?" he asks.

"Just a couple friends that I know," I say.

"Okay," he says, "you know you missed group tonight."

"I know," I say, "I just wasn't feeling up to it," I say. "I wanted to take a shower and relax."

"Okay but you can't miss group like this you could end up falling down the wrong path again."

"I know, Baby," I say as I cuddle into him wrapping my arms around his waist as he kisses the top of my head. "How was group?"

"Well, there were questions about us. I had to tell everyone that group isn't about us it's about recovery."

"Damn," I say, "I'm kind of glad I wasn't there for that."

"I know," he says. "It was stressful."

"Do you want me to leave the group?" I ask.

"No I don't want that. I might have to leave the group," he says.

"What? I don't want that to happen," I say.

"Well, there is talk about removing me as the person running it because I violated the rules and they feel like they can't trust me anymore so someone else might have to run the group."

"No," I say as I hold onto him. "I don't want that."

"I don't either but I agree it may not be a good idea to mentor a group when I'm dating one of the members and sleeping with her. It is kind of bias. It might be better for me to allow someone else to take over the group."

"Will I still see you?" I ask.

He lets out a small chuckle. "Of course you'll still see me. I'm not going anywhere. I'm leaving the group so I can be with you and not break up with you. I want to be with you. You'll see as much of me as you want."

"Good because I love seeing your face."

"I love seeing your face too," he says and I can hear the smile in his voice. "I love you, Azzy."

"I love you too," I say with a smile as I feel his lips on my forehead.

"I missed you," he groans as he holds me tight.

"I missed you too," I say.

"I was wondering would you like to travel with me next week? I want to be with you for more than 3 days. Richard already said you could have off."

"You want me to go on the road with you?"

"Yeah," he says as he looks at me with his beautiful smile showing off those cute little dimples. "I want to spend a lot of time with my sexy girlfriend," he says lying me down on my back as he lies next to me. He slides his hand up my shirt and rubs my stomach. "What do you say, Baby?" he asks.

"Yeah, I'll go with you. Where are we going?"

"We're going to Philadelphia and New York," he says with a smile as his hand finds my breast as he squeezes it softly. I bite my lip as he his hand masters my breast perfectly. "Do you like that?" he asks with a smile as he squeezes my breast again.

"Yeah," I say with a smile. "But I love you more. How was your trip?" I ask as he continues with my breast.

"It was good. My two best friends talked me into going to get visitation of McKenna."

"I like the sound of that," I say with a smile. "She deserves her father in her life."

"Yeah," he says with a smile as he continues to work with my breast. "I'm calling my lawyer in the morning to set up an appointment to get some papers drawn up. Would you be okay with me being in my daughter's life?"

"Of course, I want you to have a relationship with her," I say with a smile as his hand slides down my rib cage, he wraps his arm around my waist as his hand slides into my sweatpants. He squeezes my butt cheek softly. "I want you to be able to see her, Dean."

"Me too," he says, "but right now I want to see you. It's been a long week and I missed you. I couldn't talk to you or hear from you. I need you right now. I need you so much right now," he says as he reaches between my legs and cups my sex. It hurts but I don't give off any signs. "No panties," he says with a smile. "I like that," he says before he kisses my lips softly as his fingers make their way inside of me. It isn't comfortable but his fingers belong there. He belongs there. I want him to make me feel better about sex again. I kiss him back and roll him over onto his back and straddle myself over him as I take off my shirt before I help him out of his. "Damn, Az," he says with a smile as he takes my breasts into his hands squeezing them softly. "I need you, Baby," he says with lust in his voice.

"I need you too, Baby," I say with a smile as I remove myself from him. I kiss his chest softly, kissing every inch of his perfect abs. His body is perfection. I reach for the button of his jeans before I unbutton them and pull them down as he helps me get them off of him. I help him out of his briefs. I start by making love to him with my mouth, pleasuring him, making him want more. I bring him to the point of ecstasy as he releases his seed deep into my mouth before I slide out of my sweatpants and straddle him again, taking every hard inch of him inside of me and begin to make love to him.

We reach our climax together and he pours himself into me as he pulls me down onto his chest wrapping his arms around me holding me close. "You're mine, Baby," he says in a deep whisper. "All mine," he says before I kiss his lips softly. I remove myself from him and cuddle up next to him. I wrap my arm around his waist and rest my head on his chest as he keeps his arm wrapped around me. I fall asleep in his arms as I listen to his heartbeat. I could spend the rest of my life like this.

 ***A/N: What do you think about what took place at that abandoned building with Azzy? What do you think about Chris and Ty? What was their purpose for coming back into Azzy's life? ARe they the reason she could have a downfall? Do you think Azzy loves Dean as much as she says? What do you think about Azzy missing work and missing group? What do you think about Dean giving the group to someone else because he's with Azzzy? Do you think that broke some trust in the group? What do you think about Azzy disregarding what Brooke said to her? What are your thoughts on Azzy making love to DEan after the events of the day she endured? Why do you think she did it that way? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	10. Can't Get Enough

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated thank-you all so much***

"You've never been to Philly before," Dean asks me as we are standing in line to get my first Philly cheese steak before we go to RAW.

"Never," I say with a smile as he holds my hand. "I've been to Pittsburgh and Harrisburg but never Philly."

"Oh, Azzy," he says, "I'm glad you came with me," he says before he orders our cheese steaks. "What have you thought about it so far?"

"It's an educational city," I say. "I liked seeing the liberty bell. I remember learning about it in school. They rang the bell so much when they got their freedom it put a crack in the bell."

"There is a lot of history here," he says with a smile. "But if you come to Philly you never leave without having a cheese steak."

"I see that," I say as I look at people gathered around eating their cheese steaks.

"You aren't a vegetarian right?"

"Of course not," I say with a smile. "I like to eat meat."

"Okay," he says with a smile. "You look beautiful today."

"Thank-you," I say with a smile but I don't feel so beautiful. I am craving to shoot up again. I need to shoot up. I have been doing it over the weekend when Dean isn't around but I haven't gotten a chance to do anything and it's killing me. It's driving me nuts. The pain of withdraw is a bitch and it has me irritable and impatient. I am doing my best with Dean. "So what's this wrestling thing about?" I ask. "I never saw it before and I have never been to a show. Do you just beat each other up?"

"Pretty much," he says, "but there are storylines and stuff. Like right now I am in a storyline with one of my former group members because he turned his back on us."

"Oh," I say, "I don't know what you're talking about. Does it get wild in the arena?" I ask as the man hands Dean our cheese steaks. They look mouth-watering as we make our way to an empty table. The cheese on them looks amazing and the smell of the steak makes my stomach growl. I'm starving. I have been for the last couple days.

"It can get pretty wild especially here in Philly," he says, "this is one of the best wrestling crowds. A few months ago when we were here for the Royal Rumble they pretty much almost tore the building down they were so upset over the outcome of the Rumble. I was pretty sure they were going to riot when they were stopping us from leaving."

"Wow," I say. "That's crazy," I say as he hands me my sandwich. "This looks really good. It looks like a heart attack but it looks really good."

"They are the best ones in Philly," he says, "my friends and I tried it out. This place won it hands down. They're greasy and they're bad for your heart but they are delicious. Try it," he says with a smile

"Okay," I say as I pick up the sandwich as the grease falls from the steak on the roll and seeps through it. I bite into it and instant satisfaction. It's a mixture of greasy, cheesy and meaty goodness with onions on it for good measure. I'm in Heaven as I eat it. "Mmm," I say as I chew it. "This is really good."

"See?" he asks with a smile before taking a bite of his own sandwich. "It's probably not good for you but it's delicious."

"I know that's right," I say with a smile. "So you like what you do?"

"I love what I do, Azzy, this business saved my life. Everyone is talking about how wrestling owes them something and they deserve to have the championship. I have a different attitude I can't thank the business enough for saving my life. It saved me from falling back into drugs after I got out of rehab. I started working out and getting into the business. It saved me from destruction and I can't thank it enough. I love what I do. I am in it for the wild ride."

"That's good," I say, "I wish I could find something that I love as much. I love writing but I'm not good at it. I can barely spell correctly."

"But your words are so beautiful it doesn't matter if they are spelled right or not. What you're saying in your writing is beautiful and it comes from your heart."

"Thanks," I say.

"So when do you want to start your GED classes. I found a class for you."

"You did?"

"Yeah," he says with a smile. "It's every Wednesday night from 5pm-9pm it runs for 6 weeks. You would learn everything you need to take your GED and then after that you can think about colleges you want to go to."

"I am poor I don't have money for a GED class or the money to go to college."

"I can help you with that. There is also financial aid most colleges offer as a way to help students that can't afford college but not all college students have a rich boyfriend that can pay all 4 years of college for you."

"You're going to pay for me to go to college?" I ask

"Yeah and I am paying for your GED class too. I just want to see you succeed. I know how hard it is to be a recovering addict and trying to get back on your feet."

"It is hard," I say. "I don't know how you did it for 10 years."

"It takes a lot of strength. It's not easy though."

"I know it's not," I say. "So when does my GED class start?"

"It starts after the new year," he says. "The first Wednesday after New Year's, it will provide you with everything you need to know for your test."

"Okay," I say, "did you ever go for your GED?"

"No," he says, "I wish that I had but I didn't. I might think about going for it because wrestling isn't going to last forever. Everything could be over tomorrow and I wouldn't have anything to fall back on."

"We should do this together," I say with a smile. "You and me should take the class together."

"I wish," he says, "but Wednesday nights are when I will be working with my new group."

"I can't believe you gave the group up."

"I had to, Azzy, the members were right it wasn't fair that you and I are involved while I am the leader of the group. It's not that I wanted to do but it's something I had to do. It's probably better for us this way because I don't want you to hold back in group because you're worried about how I might feel about you because there may be some things you're not comfortable with telling me about. I understand that. I know who is taking over the group and I think you'll like her. She's very nice she is a recovering addict too and her background is pretty similar to yours. She was pumped with drugs and put out on the streets to work for drug dealers and pimps. You two can really relate."

"But I don't want her in charge of the group," I say. "I want you to be in charge."

"I know but this is better for both of us."

"I guess," I say.

"Don't be sad about it now we don't have to hide our relationship out of fear of someone finding out and I can show you off to the world now."

"I don't want to be shown off to the world," I say. That's the only thing that bothers me about Dean and that's his fame with the fans. I don't want people looking at me and digging up my skeletons and I don't want to be put in a glass house for everyone to see. I like my privacy.

"And if you don't want to be you don't have to be," he says with a smile. "It's about us and not them," he says with a smile before he kisses me softly. "Too much onions?"

"Yeah," I say as we laugh together. I love his laugh. I love his smile it is the cutest thing I have ever seen.

"So I'm going to be talking to my lawyer in a couple days," he says.

"For what?" I ask.

"I'm going to get my visitation and my rights to McKenna as her father. I have missed too much of her life and I'm not missing anymore so I am going to talk to him to see what I can do especially since she lives in another state."

"Where does she live?" I ask.

"This is the tricky part," he says, "she's part Native American and she lives in South Dakota on a reservation. Because she has that Native American in her I may not be able to have full custody of her but I'm going to try to get some type of custody. It's not fair that her mom kept her from me all these years."

"No it's not and I'm glad you're going to get some type of visitation with her. I think you'll be a great dad. She deserves you in her life. Even if you can't get full custody of her you should be able to get some type of custody."

"I'm not trying to get full custody. I'm not ready for all that and neither is she. I'm just talking some visits here and there. You know what I mean. I need a chance to get to know her and she needs a chance to get to know me. I don't want it to be awkward. We need to do this slowly. I'm talking about going to South Dakota to visit her a couple times a month. I'm not trying to take her away from the life that she knows. I just want her to know her dad and I want to know my daughter. I just want to be in her life then maybe we'll talk about her coming to Ohio to stay at my house."

"I understand what you're saying," I say. "I hope it all works out. I'm in your corner."

"I know, Baby," he says with a smile. "Thank-you."

"You're welcome," I say with a smile as we finish our cheese steaks before we spend some more time sightseeing Philadelphia and enjoying our time together as a couple. We don't really go out on many dates or spend this type of time together but I like it. I love spending time with Dean. There's just something about him that I can't get enough of.

When we arrive at the arena I am taken back by the crowd of people waiting to meet Dean it's incredible. I didn't know he had that many fans. It's also very overwhelming to hear people yelling and screaming for him. Dean politely stops and let's go of my hand to sign a few autographs and pose for a few pictures before he takes my hand and we walk into the arena. He shows security my wristband as soon as we enter the arena and they let me through. "Is it always like that?"

"Pretty much," he says with a smile as our fingers are intertwined as we walk together. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I say. "It's all just a bit overwhelming. I never expected to be dating a wrestler or dealing with that kind of thing."

"Yeah it is pretty overwhelming at first but you get used to it. I'm sorry. I didn't know it was going to be that wild when we got here."

"It's okay," I say as we make our way to his locker room. "So you just do what now?"

"I usually change into my wrestling gear and then hit catering for something to eat before the show. I usually hang out with my two best friends."

"That's cool," I say with a smile. "Do you know what you're doing tonight?"

"I'm cutting a promo on Seth and then I have a match against Kane so it should be a fun night."

"I don't even know who you're talking about," I say with a smile, "but okay."

"I'm going to need to brush you up on your WWE information and superstars after all," he says as he stops in front of me as he wraps his arms around my waist as I wrap my arms around his neck. "You can date one of the top guys in WWE and have no knowledge about the business."

"Okay," I say with a smile. "You can teach me anything you want me to know."

"Sounds like a plan," he says before he kisses my lips softly. "We should start it off by introducing you to my two best friends."

"Okay," I say with a smile. We walk into his locker room to drop off his bags and for him to change into his wrestling gear which is no different than his normal street clothes just a pair of jeans, a wife beater and a leather jacket.

He takes my hand as we walk out of his locker room. "You'll like Roman and Seth they are good people," he says. "They're my best friends. We were in developmental together and we came into this business together. We spent a good time of our careers traveling together. I still travel with Roman he is my brother."

"That's cool," I say with a smile as we make our way down the long hallway to find his friends. I'm anxious to meet his friends. He doesn't really hang out with anyone back home except for me so I have never really seen him in a friend's setting. He always seemed like a loner to me, someone that wants to be left alone. It's good to know he has two good friends to work with and hang out with.

We walk into catering and Dean waves to two men sitting at a table eating. "Are you hungry?"

"No, I'm all right," I say.

"Okay," he says as we make our way over to the table. There are two men sitting at the table one with dark hair pulled up into a low bun and he isn't too bad looking. He is smoking hot for sure. He has nice blue eyes that I am pretty sure are contacts and these really nice lips. He is a hot one for sure. The other guy is okay looking but not better looking than Dean or his friend. He has a little bit of blonde in his messy ponytail and facial hair with dark brown eyes. "Roman and Seth, I want you two to meet my girlfriend Azzy."

"Azzy," says the really hot guy in a deep voice before he stands up taking me by surprise with how large he is and how tall he is. He puts his hand out for me to shake and I nervously shake it. "I'm Roman. Dean has told me so much about you. It's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too," I say with a smile but I'm still nervous.

"And I'm Seth," says the other one as he stands up to shake my hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too," I say with a smile.

"Have a seat," says Roman as he pulls a chair out for me next to him to sit down. I take a seat next to him as Dean takes a seat next to me as he wraps his arm around my shoulders as he strokes my shoulder softly as he holds my hand under the table, intertwining our fingers and stroking my knuckles softly with his thumb. "So how long have you and Dean been dating?" he asks.

"Almost two months," I say with a smile.

"That's good so what do you think of traveling with him so far?"

"It's definitely different," I say. "I used to travel a lot too but not like this. It's been fun to get these extra couple days in with Dean."

"I bet," he says, "dating someone that isn't in the business is hard just like I'm sure dating someone that is in the business is hard because you don't get that much time together."

"No not at all but I'm happy the couple days I do get with Dean. They're my favorite days of the week."

"Do you watch the product?"

"Not really," I say, "I don't really watch TV. I haven't watched TV most of my life but I should probably check it out."

"I think you'll like it," says Roman with a smile. "Dean tells us you're part of his group."

"I was," I say, "but he doesn't run the group anymore. It was a conflict of interest," I say.

"I can see that," says Roman. "I have to say that I have never seen Dean as happy as I have seen him with you. Don't hurt him," he says, "he loves you."

"I would never hurt him," I say. " I love him too much to hurt him."

"That's good to hear so are you watching the show back here or are you going to the audience."

"Audience," I say. "Dean got me a ticket."

"You're going to have fun. It's going to be an electric crowd tonight. This is Philadelphia they hate me here but they love Dean."

"I can't wait to be out in the crowd to watch my man do his thing," I say with a smile.

"I can't wait to do my thing for you," says Dean with a smile before he kisses my lips softly. "I love you."

"I love you too," I say with a smile before I kiss his lips again.

"Get a room," says Seth jokingly as we break the kiss.

"Shut up," says Dean before he kisses me once more before we go back to talking to Seth and Roman. I like them especially Roman. He's funny and I can tell he really cares about Dean. I like that but he let me know that I better not hurt Dean. I don't think I would ever be capable of hurting him, not purposely anyway.

The night is amazing and I have never had as much fun as I did watching the show that night. I never cheered as loud as I did tonight for anyone in my life. It was great to be able to be front row to watch Dean in action. It was like nothing I ever experienced before and I would love to experience it again. When the show is over security escorts me to the back and I meet Dean in his locker room. I wait as he showers before we head out to get something to eat. He wanted to go out with Roman and Seth but since I'm not 21 I can't go to the bar but I felt bad for him so I sent him out with Roman and Seth telling him I would be all right hanging out in the hotel alone for a little bit. I want him to have fun besides we were together all day so he deserves to have some time with his friends. While Dean is out with Roman and Seth I get into my suitcase and dig deep into it and pull out my needle, my heroin and a spoon. I have been waiting for this time alone so I can get my fix. I need my fix. I can't help it. I have tried to stop but I can't stop. I prepare my needle and breathe relief as I pump this crazy drug into my system. I feel my dependency on it forming and my need to have it to get through the day. It is probably the only drug that you do and you're instantly hooked. I shoot up a couple more times before I dispose of all my evidence and hide everything. I lay down to watch TV and wait for Dean to get home. There is just something about heroin and me that makes me crave sex after. I practically attack Dean when he comes into the door and we have a long night of rough sex together, enjoying each and every moment of it before we fall asleep in each other's arms.

 ***A/N: Were you surprised that Azzy went with Dean on the road? What did you think of him offering to pay for her GED class as well as her college? Do you think that's a good idea or a bad idea? What do you think about Dean giving up the group and giving it to someone else? Is he right that Azzy could be holding back because she is scared of what he would think of her? Do you think Roman and SEth like Azzy? What do you think of Azzy sending Dean out with his friends so she could get her fix? Do you think she has reached the point of addiction again? How do you think things are going to go with Dean trying to get visitation with McKenna? Could Azzy's behavior cause some issue with his argument? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	11. Where is It?

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. they were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much***

 **A FEW DAYS LATER:**

 **DEAN's POINT OF VIEW:**

"So what do I have to do in order to get visitation with my daughter?" I ask my lawyer as Azzy is at her apartment.

"This is tricky," he says, "because you haven't been there for 10 years the court is going to question your agenda to want visitation now. Why do you want visitation with your daughter now after 10 years?"

"Because I am in a better place than I was before, I finally have my life in the right place and I'm doing good. I fell down the wrong path and I got the help I needed. I didn't ask not to be in my daughter's life her mom took her to that reservation and wouldn't let me see her."

"So she kept her from you?"

"Yes and as her father I deserve the right to see her. I wish I could have done it sooner but I wasn't ready then. I'm ready now like I said I have my life together. I'm not asking for full custody or trying to get any type of custody just yet. I just want some visitation with her to get to know her and for her to know me. I screwed up with her. I couldn't let go of my drugs so I went into rehab so I could be a father to her but when I got out her mom was gone with her and I had divorce papers in my hands. I found her but her mom told me that she was better off without me. I wish I could have been there more but I want to see my daughter. I want a relationship with her. I love her so much. I have a room at my house for her and everything with the hope that one day she'll be able to see it. I just want to see her."

"I'll see what I can do," he says. "How much visitation are you looking for?"

"A couple days out of the month," I say, "Nothing too major right now. I just want to see her and get to know her."

"All right," he says writing it down. "I don't know if you want any type of custody but the chances of you getting full custody of her from her mother is pretty slim just because of her being part Native American and the other fact that you have been absent from her life for 10 years. The courts are going to look at that and wonder why. They're going to question why you weren't there but you have good reason. She wouldn't let you in her life and you were trying to get yourself together. There is proof of that isn't there?"

"Yes," I say, "I have proof of my time in rehab and my time of going to a recovery group and getting into wrestling. I am emotionally and financially stable to be in my daughter's life I have proof of that. I'm not trying to disrupt anything but I just want to see my baby girl. I miss her."

"I will see what I can do," he says. "I'm hoping that we can settle this amicably and not end up in court over it. I'm sure your ex-wife is going to hire a lawyer when she gets the papers from the courts ordering you visitation and she's going to want to fight it but hopefully we can mutually agree on visitation and discuss it amicably without it getting ugly and going to court. Some of the worst cases I have seen in my career are child custody cases between the parents. A mother will turn into a stalker if she feels her child is in danger so you need to make sure you're staying out of trouble and you're staying clean, hanging out with the right people and no one that does drugs or can influence you in any way because if the wrong person finds out you lose your case and I would hate to see that happen. I know how much you love your daughter and you want to see her. I would hate for something like to happen to get in the way."

"Me too but I hang out with good people. No one I am around does drugs and I'm not influenced at all. I have a couple best friends that I love and I have a wonderful girlfriend that is supporting me in this. Other than them there is no one else involved except my mom and my brother and they are the ones that got me the help when I needed it."

"That's good keep yourself surrounded with good people and the people that are doing the right thing," he says.

"I will," he says. "So I'm going to type up the visitation request and send it to the court. The judge will make the final decision and then McKenna's mom will be served papers about the visitation. She can fight it or she can comply. I'm hoping she will comply but if she fights it, it could take a while for you to be able to see your little girl."

"Okay," I say, "I understand. I don't care how long it takes as long as I get to see her. It's been too long. Way too long," I say. He goes over a few more things about the visitation and told me when I'm ready to file for custody of McKenna how to go about it. He lets me know he's going to type up the paper this afternoon and send it out to the courts by the end of the day and after that it's all up to the judge and what he wants to do. I just want to see McKenna and hopefully by the time all this is over with I will be able to have a relationship with her. I can barely remember much about her the last time I saw her. I just know she is a beautiful little girl with tan skin, long curly dark hair and dark brown eyes inheriting everything from her mother except she has my dimples. I can't wait to see her.

 **AZZY's POINT OF VIEW:**

"Where's your rent money?" Brooke asks me as I walk out of the bathroom.

"I don't know," I say, "I'm sorry," I say. "I'll give it to you next month."

"Azzy, you owe me $400 already and yet I have nothing in my hands. Where is the money? I know you're working so where is your part of the rent."

"I just don't have it right now," I say, "I'm sorry. I'll get it for you as soon as I have it. Tips just aren't as good as I thought they would be."

"Well, I can't keep paying your half of the rent. If you can't start paying me what you owe me then you're going to need to get out. I don't understand how you don't have the $200 each month for me."

"I told you the tips aren't as much as I thought."

"You have to be making over $100 a week," she says, "so where is the money?"

"I told you I don't have it."

"So where is it? Money doesn't just disappear, Azzy where is the money?"

"I don't know," I say. "I don't have it."

"Azzy, are you using again?"

"No," I say. "I'm not using again. Why does everyone assume that I am using again? I'm not using."

"Then why haven't I gotten any money from you yet?"

"I just don't have it. I promise I'll have it for you in a couple days," I say as I reach into my pocket and pull out my pack of cigarettes.

"So you have money to buy a pack of cigs but you don't have the money to pay your part of the rent?" she asks I light my cigarette with my lighter to smoke.

"Dean bought me these," I say.

"All right," she says, "I wish you wouldn't smoke in here with Kylie running around."

"I'm sorry," I say as I take a puff on my cigarette. "I won't smoke in here again if you don't want me to after I finish this one."

"From now on if you want to smoke do it outside. You're not ruining my daughter's lungs. Look, I just need you to pay me your part of the rent as soon as possible. I'm a single mother, Azzy," she says as Dean walks into the apartment. "I can't do it all alone. I let you live here so that you had a place to stay and help you get back on your feet. I am not here to take care of you. You're an adult, Azzy, you're not living here for free. You are responsible and you need to show it. I need the $400 by the end of the week," she says.

"What's going on?" asks Dean as he wraps his arm around my waist after greeting me with a soft kiss.

"I don't have the rent money for her and I owe her $400 by the end of the week," I say.

"Oh," says Dean. "Here," he says getting into his wallet and pulling out some cash. He starts to count through 50's and then hands it to Brooke. "Here is $600. $400 for the two months she owes you and $200 for the next month," he says.

"Thank-you," says Brooke as she looks at the money and then looks at me.

"Babe, you didn't have to do that," I say, "I would have gotten the money for her."

"No, it's okay," says Dean as he kisses my temple. "I've got you."

"Thanks," I say with a smile before we share a soft kiss on the lips.

"Well," says Brooke as she puts her money into her pocket. "I'm going to work now. Are you okay with babysitting Kylie?" she asks.

"We're good," I say.

"Okay," she says. "If there are any problems, call me. I have her lunch ready for her already it just needs to be warmed up and then she will need to go down for a nap afterward."

"Okay," I say. "We've got this, Brooke. You don't have to worry about anything."

"All right," she says, "remember call me if anything happens."

"We'll be fine," I say. "I promise."

"Okay," says Brooke before she kisses Kylie bye before leaving for work.

Dean and I walk into the living room where Kylie is contently sitting on the floor playing with her toys. She's only a little over a year and she's the most adorable baby I have ever seen. Dean gets down on the floor next to her and lays down on his side as I take a seat next to her. She keeps her dark brown eyes on Dean as he is sprawled out next to her. "She's giving me the stink eye," he says with a smile. "I'm not sure she likes me, Az."

"I'm sure she likes you," I say with a smile, "she's just not used to being around men. Her dad is in jail and Brooke hasn't really had anyone else around her. She might just be intimidated by you."

"What did her dad do if you don't mind me asking," he says as he starts to play with her by covering his eyes and playing peek-a-boo making me smile. He's adorable with her and she loves it as she erupts into her tiny fit of laughter as he does it over and over again.

"I think she does like you," I say laying down next to her as he finishes up the game with her and he starts to play with her toy putting the shapes into the correct hole and helping her do the same. "And her dad is just a loser," I say. "He is in jail for the rest of his life. He killed someone in a robbery a few months ago. He walked into some store, held the clerk up at gunpoint and when the clerk resisted he shot him in cold blood."

"Wow," says Dean. "Was it about drugs?"

"He needed money he wasn't into drugs. His life was about putting women out on the streets and making them work. When the business wasn't working the way it should have been and he wasn't getting the money like he should have he decided to rob a store one night."

"What was Brooke doing with someone like that?" He asks.

"She wasn't with him," I say, "He was her pimp," I say. "He turned her out when she was 16 like Chris and Ty did to me. We worked together on some of the same streets. We worked some of the same parties together. That's how we met and became friends. Kylie's dad raped Brooke one night when she wouldn't perform afterward he brutally beat her for defying him. She almost died he wanted her to die but she never pressed charges against him. She told everyone she didn't know what happened because she didn't want him to get in trouble so he got away with it. She got pregnant with Kylie that night and then Kylie's dad decided he would try to be a dad and took Brooke off the streets. He tried but not hard enough because he went back to his old ways, turning out young girls again, raping girls and all that stuff. Brooke left him and put a restraining order against him. She wanted to get herself right and make a better life for her and Kylie. When Kylie's dad went to jail for murder it was the best day of Brooke's life because she knows where he is at all times and knows he isn't capable of hurting her or Kylie. It's really sad."

"Wow," he says, "what is wrong with people?"

"I don't know," I say, "but Brooke has had it rough like me. She was kicked out when she was younger by her parents too. She never told me why she just told me that when she was 16 they threw her out on the streets and that's when she met Kylie's dad and he turned her out. She said it was the fastest money she ever made but she felt disgusting doing it. She never wants that for Kylie. She loves Kylie."

"I can tell," he says, "so what's going on with the rent money, Azzy? How come you haven't been paying her the rent?"

"I don't know," I say, "I just don't have the money."

"Okay," he says, "so where is it? You're telling me you don't make $200 in two weeks working with my brother?"

"I just spent it," I say.

"On what, Azzy?"

"I don't know just stuff," I say, "it's not a big deal. I'll just make sure I put the $200 aside each month so she gets paid."

"That sounds like a good idea," he says, "or you could move in with me and not worry about paying rent."

"You want me to move in with you?" I ask.

"Yeah," he says with a smile. "I would like that very much. I love you, Azzy and while I love spending time here I would much rather spend time with you alone in my house. Here we have Brook and Kylie. At my house it would be just us two and it's bigger."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive. I want to live with you," he says with his cute smile as he keeps playing with Kylie.

"Okay," I say with a smile. "I'd really like that."

"Me too," he says with a smile before I lean down and kiss his lips softly. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine why?"

"It's just you have these dark circles under your eyes. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm positive," I say. "I'm all right. I'm just really tired. I think traveling has made me really sleepy."

"Okay," he says with a smile. "Are you going to group tonight?"

"I don't think so," I say, "I think I'm going to skip it."

"Again, Azzy? I don't think you should be skipping group like this," he says, "It's not good. Group is to help you stay clean and stay away from drugs."

"I know but I just really don't like the idea of someone else running the group. I liked it better when you did it."

"I know but I wouldn't have been able to keep seeing you if I kept running the group. I left and gave it to someone else so that you and I could be together. I didn't want to lose you. I'm crazy about you and one day I want to marry you and make you my wife. I want to have lots of babies with you and give you the life you deserve. I wasn't going to give up what we had so I could run our group. I gave it up so we could be together."

"You want to get married someday?" I ask with a smile.

"Yeah," he says, "don't you?"

"I really do," I say with a smile. "And have lots of babies."

"How many babies?" he asks.

"As many as you want," I say with a smile. "If I had my life together I wouldn't mind doing that right now. I love kids."

"Me too," he says with a smile as he plays with Kylie making me melt on the inside. He is so sweet with her as he tickles her and makes her laugh. "Speaking of kids," he says, "my lawyer is typing up my petition for visitation and it should be sent to the courts by the end of the day."

"That's great," I say with a smile. "I hope you get to visit with McKenna."

"Me too," he says, "I miss her, Azzy. I feel like I should have been there but I wasn't ready. I'm ready now. I have a great job and a wonderful girlfriend. I'm ready and my head is in the right place."

"It will happen," I say with a smile. "I'm sure it will."

"Thanks," he says. "When do you want to move in with me?"

"Today after Brooke gets home from work," I say, "we can start packing stuff up while she takes her nap and after Brooke gets home we can move it to your place."

"Sounds good to me, Baby," he says with a smile. "I want one of these so bad but I'll give you time to get your life together," he says talking about Kylie. "Still going for your GED?"

"Yeah," I say.

"Okay," he says, "you get yourself enrolled and I'll pay for the class. I just want to see you succeed."

"Thanks," I say with a smile. "I'm going to make her lunch and then put her down for a nap and then we can start packing. I can't wait to move in with you and be with you every night not that we aren't already but I like your house. I want to be there."

"I want you there," he says with a smile before I kiss his lips softly before I get up to start to get Kylie's lunch together while he sits and plays with her. She loves him and I love seeing him with her. He's so good with her. After I have her lunch heated up and he's busy with her I walk into the bathroom. I sit down on the toilet after finding my hidden stash and pour some cocaine onto the sink. I do a line of coke before I shoot up. I let out a sigh of relief as I feel the high taking over me. I hide my stuff in the hamper and walk out to the kitchen where Dean is feeding Kylie her lunch. "I'm sorry, I hope you don't mind."

"No, you're good baby," I say.

"Are you okay? You were in the bathroom for a while," he says as he feeds her macaroni and cheese.

"I'm fine," I say. "I was just using the bathroom."

"Okay," he says, "are you sure you're all right? Your eyes look bad and your nose is red."

"I'm good," I say. "I'll be all right. If you have Kylie I'm going to start packing."

"Okay," he says, "someone is excited."

"You have no idea," I say with a smile before I kiss his lips once more before I head to the bedroom to start packing. I can't wait to move in with Dean.

 ***A/N: What do you think about what Dean's lawyer said to him about staying around the right people? Do you think he will be granted visitation with McKenna? What do you think about Azzy not having her rent money for Brooke? What do you think happened to it all? Were you surprised when Dean paid it for her? What about Brooke asking Azzy to babysit Kylie? What do you think about Brooke's story and the story of Kylie's dad? What did you think of Dean asking Azzy to move in with him? Is that asking for trouble? What about her still using? Do you think Dean is pushing it talking about marriage and babies with her? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	12. Promise

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. THey were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much***

I walk into Brooke's room where Kylie is taking a nap. She woke up a couple minutes ago and I want to get her out of the crib. "Hey, Kylie!" I say with a smile as I walk into the room and see her standing in the crib. She gives me a big smile as I walk closer to the crib. "Did you have a good nap?" I ask. She continues to smile at me showing me her 6 teeth in her mouth. I walk to get her a diaper from the changing table and I stop as I see her piggy bank sitting on Brooke's dresser. I bite my lip as I look at it. Fighting myself to stay away from it but I end up losing the battle as I pick it up from the dresser, I have no money left I spent it all and I could use a little bit of money. I'll pay her back before Brooke even notices. I know that each month on Kylie's month birthday she puts $20 into the piggy bank. I open the piggy bank and let the money fall out onto Brooke's bed.

"No, no, no," says Kylie as she shakes her head as she watches. "No, No," she says again.

"Shh," I say. "I'm just counting your money. I'll put it back."

"No, no," she says again as I start to count the money in my hands. I count out $340 total. I count out $200 and put it in my pocket before I put the rest back into the bank and close it up. I put it back on Brooke's dresser before I pick up a diaper to change Kylie after I get her out of the crib.

"See? I put the money back," I say with a smile as I lift her out of the crib. "Let's get you changed and then Mommy should be here soon." I carry her over to the bed and lay her down. I pull her pants down and change her diaper before dressing her again. I throw the diaper away in the bathroom and wash my hands before Kylie and I walk out to the living room where Dean is sitting down on his phone. "There's Uncle Dean," I say with a smile. She makes her way over to him and he smiles at her before he scoops her up into his arms to put him on the couch next to him. I take a seat next to them on the couch. "You're so cute with her," I say.

"I like kids," he says with a smile, "and she's a cutie pie. She's my buddy now right, Ky?" he asks as she nods at him. He puts his hand up for a high five and she hits his hand with her tiny hand. "Hahaha, told you," he says with a smile. "So are you okay? You were in the bathroom for a while."

"Yeah, I'm fine," I say, "I was just freshening up," I say, "and getting some of my stuff to take to your place."

"Okay," he says with a smile. "Did you change your mind about group tonight?"

"No, I'm not going. I don't think I'm going back. I just don't feel comfortable with you not leading the group. You know me that lady doesn't."

"I think you should still give her a chance," he says as he hands Kylie his phone to play with. "She's a good friend of mine. You'll like her I promise."

"I don't know, I'm not really a fan of females," I say, "Brooke is the only one that I really talk to. You know history and everything. Being out on the streets is a competition sometimes."

"She's not a bad person, Az, and I told you that you and her have the same background. She was once addicted to heroin too and she had to spend some time out on the streets to pay for her drugs. She was turned out for it too. She could really help you. If I didn't think she could I wouldn't have given the group to her. You really need to give her a chance."

"I don't think so," I say. "I'm just going to bow out for now."

"I don't think it's a good idea to give up on group, Azzy. You need it to help you resist the urges. I don't think it's a good idea. You need to go."

"Dean, don't tell me what to do. I'm not comfortable going to the group anymore and then everyone is going to look at me because you're with me and I don't like that idea either. I don't need group. I'm fine."

"No one is really ever fine, Azzy, you need the group. It has only been a little over a month since you were sober. You can't just walk away from group and act like you are going to be okay. Heroin is a tough drug to get over. You can't just go to a couple meetings and assume that you're done. It doesn't work that way."

"Dean, I am fine," I snap.

"No, Azzy, you're not fine. You've been sober for a little over a month good for you. That doesn't mean you're fine. You're a recovering addict. It takes a lot more than a few meetings to kick the habit especially a heroin addiction. You need to go to group to figure how to handle and deal with the urges I know you're having."

"Dean, I am fine," I snap again.

"Why are you being so short tempered about this, Azalea?"

"Because you're telling me what to do and I don't like you telling me what to do. You act like I'm some child. I'm not comfortable going to the group and I'm not going to do it. I'm fine, Dean, stop acting like I'm not. I'm fine."

"Azzy, I'm doing it because I love you. I love you so much and I care about you. It would kill me to see you fall back into drugs again. You're doing so good. You have a lot of good things going for you. You have a job, you have a place to live, you are going to school, you've got it good and you have a boyfriend that loves and cares so much about you. I don't want to see you lose all that because you fall back down the road of drugs. I'm serious about this Azzy and I mean it. If you ever fall back into drugs and fall down that road again I'm going to need to leave you. I can't be involved with someone that's on drugs. I just can't be. I'm trying to get my daughter back. I can't be with someone that's using. If you use I can't be with you."

"Dean, I'm not using and I don't plan to use again. I don't need this group."

"I can't make you do what you don't want to do but remember what I said if I find out you're using again or that you've fallen back down the path of drugs it's over."

"You would leave me just like that? I thought you loved me?"

"I do love you, Azzy, that's why I'm trying to make sure you keep doing the right thing. Skipping out on group isn't the right thing. I wish you would go and give Kate a chance. She can help you and I'm sure you would like her."

"Dean, I'm not going that's all there is to it," I say. "I'm fine."

"Okay," he says. "I just really care about you and love you."

"I know," I say, "but trust me. I'll be okay."

 **TWO HOURS LATER:**

"Home sweet home," says Dean as we walk into his beautiful home, our beautiful home now. "You can make yourself comfortable," he says as we carry in my stuff. I don't have much just enough to survive off of so there really isn't much to carry. "This is your house now too," he says.

"Okay," I say with a smile. "It's a beautiful house. I like it."

"I'm just glad I won't be in it alone anymore," he says with a smile. "I'm glad I finally have some company. It was getting pretty lonely in here."

"I bet," I say with a smile. "So I'll be all alone when you're on the road?"

"Only for a couple days," he says, "unless you want to travel with me."

"I can't travel with you all the time you know," I say as I place my stuff down on the floor in the kitchen as he does the same. I wrap my arms around his waist as his arms snake around mine. "I have to work sometime."

"You don't really have to work anytime," he says. "I could take care of you and you could come with me every time you wanted to. I liked the company this past week."

"I liked being your company but all that traveling isn't for me besides I like my job."

"That's good to hear," he says with a smile. "I'm glad. So who were the two guys that came looking for you the other night you were there?"

"Two guys?" I ask.

"Yeah, Richard told me that you had to male customers come in that asked specifically for you," he says getting us out a bottle of water from the fridge. "Who were they?"

"Oh, they were no one. They were just my friends. They just wanted to see me and talk to me for a few minutes."

"Oh okay," he says handing me a bottle of water. "Richard also said afterward you never came back to work and you were gone all that time."

"I was just hanging out with my friends. I was sick too that's why I didn't go to work."

"Hmm," he says, "so do you have any decorating ideas for the house?" he asks as we make our way to the living room. "It's kind of boring and plain in here. I'm not much of a decorator."

"I like plain," I say with a smile.

"You don't have any ideas?"

"Not really," I say. "I like it the way it is. After all you know what I've lived in this is a thousand times better."

"I guess but you never thought about decorating a home?"

"I never even dreamed I would have a home to live in," I say. "This is all new to me. This whole life, I mean my parents had money lots of it and we had a nice house as I was growing up but then at 16 I was on my own and would just sleep anywhere I could find a place. It was terrible."

"Do you miss them?" he asks.

"My parents?" I ask. "Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. I would like to see them but I know they don't want to see me."

"You don't know that," he says.

"If they cared about me and they wanted to see me," I say, "I wouldn't have been on the streets for 2 years. I wasn't the daughter that they wanted and they kicked me out. I didn't want to follow their rules so they threw me out on the streets to fend for myself, never even looked back. I have a sister she's perfect. She's the light of their lives. She follows the rules and she doesn't do drugs and she gets straight A's and me," I say, "I was the screw up of the family, I was the mistake, I was the one they never really wanted."

"I'm sure you weren't a mistake."

"Oh but I was. My mom and dad were young when they had me. They didn't want to have a baby for 5 years when she got pregnant with me. I was a mistake, I was the she shouldn't have happened child. They made it known too. I could never do anything right. I wasn't smart as a little kid. I was stupid. My parents wanted me to be perfect but I was anything but perfect. I was wild and out of control. They had no idea how to control me. They tried their best growing up in their house was hell, Dean. If I didn't bring home a good grade on a paper I was punished horribly. Sometimes they tied me to a chair because I was so wild and they didn't know what else to do with me. I had hot pepper poured into my mouth to the point I was choking on it and they told me to buck up and hoped I learned a lesson. They made me study but I wasn't getting it. I didn't understand it but neither were willing to help me. Then my little sister came along. She was the joy of their lives. She was everything that I wasn't. She was pretty, she was smart, she wasn't wild and she was talented. I was nothing in their eyes but that wild problem child. Once Aurora got there I didn't matter not that I did at first but then I really didn't matter. They never really wanted me so when I was 11 I decided I would try to smoke for the first time so I did and I decided at 12 I was going to drink for the first time and at 13 I decided that I was going to have sex for the first time and then I started smoking weed. I was doing what I wanted but they were so busy worrying about Aurora's ballet recitals and her violin concerts they never even noticed I was falling apart. I started popping pills at 14. It kept up for a year, I started skipping class, getting in trouble by the teachers for my mouth, I was even more out of control than I was when I was little. They really didn't know what to do with me. They tried to put me in boot camp but that back fired on them then they tried to put me in counseling and that didn't work. They didn't know what to do so one night we got into a fight and the next night I was out on the streets. They have never come looking for me either."

"Wow," he says wrapping his arm around me and holding me tight. "I don't know how you survived all those years in that house."

"Obviously I didn't. I started to do all that stuff just to get attention from them I got negative attention but it was attention. Popping the pills and drinking really helped me with my pain. Then it all went downhill from there with the coke and the heroin. My life was pretty fucked up till I met you."

"I'm sorry that you had to go through all that when you were little. That's child abuse what they did to you. You never told anyone?"

"No," I say, "I didn't. Who was going to listen to the wild child?"

"I'm sure someone would have."

"Oh like my catholic school teachers that told me I shouldn't lie because God and Jesus don't like it or how about my guidance counselor and my psychologist that didn't believe me. I was just a kid with problems no one cared just like no one cares about me now."

"Azzy, that's not true. I care a lot about you. I'm worried about you. I love you. I care about you trust me. So yes people do care about you."

"You are the only one," I say.

"Brooke cares about you too," he says. "You have people that love and care about you even if your parents don't there are some people out there that do. You mean the world to me."

"Thanks," I say with a smile. "It feels good to have someone care about me."

"I bet," he says with a smile. "I love you, Baby."

"I love you too," I say with a smile as he kisses my lips softly. I cup his face with my hands and kiss him back deeply. I move myself over so that I'm straddling him. "Promise me you'll never leave me," I whisper against his lips. "I need you, Dean."

"I'll never leave you," he says, "but you know the conditions," he says.

"I know, Baby. I promise please don't leave me," I say with a painful plea with the fear of losing Dean.

"I promise," he says with a smile before I kiss his lips softly.

 ***A/N: What did you think of Azzy taking money from Kylie's piggy bank? Do you think Brooke will find out? What did you think of Dean pushing Azzy to go to group? Do you think it's a bad idea for her to quit group does she need it? What did you think of Dean laying it out for her that if she uses again and he finds out he's done with her? Is Dean starting to get suspicious? What are your thoughts on Azzy's childhood? Is it a surprise that she turned out the way she did? What do you think of her having Dean promise he'll never leave her? Is Azzy good at laying on the guilt? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	13. Conscience

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much***

The sun shines into Dean's bedroom window as I get out of bed while I hear the water in the shower running. I grab one of Dean's shirts and put it on to cover my naked body. I throw my curly hair up into a messy bun before I walk around the room. I walk over to the jeans Dean was wearing yesterday, pick them up and check the pockets for his wallet but I don't find it. I walk around the room and spot it on the dresser. I pick it up and open it. I look through his credit cards and then put them back as I see the cash in his wallet. I pull out $100's, 50's and 20's. I count out $350 between the 100's and 50's and put the rest of the money back into his wallet before laying it back down on the dresser. I take the money and put it into my purse. I am desperate for money, really desperate for money. I hate stealing from Dean but I have to do it. He won't even notice he has so much money. I make my way to the bathroom where the water is still running as Dean is taking a shower. I smile as I walk in and see his glorious naked body through the glass of the shower doors. The bathroom fills with steam as I strip out of the shirt I put on earlier before I open the doors. I climb into the shower as Dean is rubbing soap over his perfect abs. "Azzy," he says with surprise but a smile on his face. "Good morning."

"Good morning," I say with a smile. "Do you mind if I join you?"

"Any time," he says with a smile as I smile back at him.

"Need some help?" I ask as I pour some of his shower gel onto my hands and rub it together lathering it up in my hands.

"Please," he says with a smile as I smile at him as I take his cock into my hand rubbing it softly as I clean him. Deep moans escape from his lips as I continue to rub his member clean. I feel his erection forming in my hand with each soft stroke that I make. I take a firm grasp on his manhood, stroking it softly as moans of pleasure escape his lips as his closes his eyes and leans his head back into the shower. The water pouring down his hard body, washing away the soap as I continue to stroke him, the soap melting from my hands in the heat of the water. I stroke him harder as the soap is washed away and his erection is full and thick in my hand. I look up at him and smile before I drop to my knees. I take the tip of his cock into my mouth sucking him softly as my hand continues to stroke the length of his thick erection. "Yes, Azzy," he says with lust in his voice as I take more of him into my mouth, sucking him softly as I make my way up his length, taking him inch by inch, taking him as deep as I can. I feel the tip of his erection at the back of my throat as I make love to him with my mouth. Sucking him hard and deep as his hands undo the hair tie in my hair, my curly hair falling over my shoulders as his hands fist through my hair as I continue to suck him deep and hard in my mouth, he pulls my hair softly, and deep groans of pleasure escape from his throat. I take my tongue to the tip of his erection and lick up his length before taking him into my mouth again, his hands on the back of my head pushing himself deeper. I suck him harder. "Fuck, Azzy," he says in a deep whisper as the hot water falls on us as the passion rips through his body. I look up at him as I'm sucking him off, his blue eyes full of lust and need for me as I make love to him with my mouth. A smile of pleasure on his face as he plays with my hair, I see his abs tighten as his erection grows thicker in my mouth. He lets out a groan of pleasure as he explodes in my mouth, his seed hitting the back of my throat. I swallow every drop of his hot thick seed as it spurts into my mouth. Dean pulls his erection out of my mouth and helps me up off the floor of the shower. "I want to fuck you, Azzy," he says with so much lust and need in his voice my knees weaken beneath me. "Turn around," he says. I turn around. "Bend over and hold onto the shelf," he says with so much dominance making me want him more than ever. I bend over and grip onto the shelf in the shower as I feel his erection between my legs. He strokes it against my swollen clit and takes it over my sex. I'm panting as he teases me, strokes me with his thick erection. I feel the tip of his erection outside my sex as he rubs it softly before he thrusts himself deep inside of me causing me to cry out. He pulls himself out before thrusting deep once more as I cry out once again in pleasure. He pulls out once more before thrusting deep again. He lays his body over mine as he makes love to me. His movements are rough and hard, his erection deep inside of me. He pulls my hair so I look back at him, his presses his lips on mine and kisses me deep and hard as he continues his rough movements. He slams himself hard and deep inside of me, grunts and growls from his lips as they mix with the cries of pleasure from my lips as the hot water pours over us. I feel my climax building in the pit of my stomach as he continues his hard deep thrusts. My knees weaken as he wraps his arm around my waist holding me up from falling as I lose all control, I scream out in pleasure as I find my release, covering his erection in my hot juices. He continues his movements as his wet body covers mine. He thrusts into me one last time, pulling my hair, kissing me deep and hard as his thick erection explodes deep inside of my body. His hot seed filling me, his release so powerful semen seeps down my leg as he empties himself inside of me. "Damn, Azzy, what you do to me," he says as he pulls out of me.

He turns me around and kisses my lips softly and passionately this time as he picks me up from the floor. I wrap my legs around his waist as I run my fingers through his hair as the hot water covers our bodies as we stand under it, kissing each other deeply and passionately both of us wanting more of each other and needing more of one another. He turns the water off and opens the doors of the shower. He carries me to the bed and lays me down gently, kissing me deeply again as his naked body covers mine as I instantly spread my legs for him to slide inside of me. "Again?" I ask with a smile.

"Azzy, I can't get enough of you. I am going to make love to you until you have to go to work and I have to catch my flight."

"I like the sound of that," I say with a smile before I kiss his lips again. He holds true to his promise. He makes sweet love to me the rest of the morning before I have to get ready to go to work and he has to get ready to catch his flight. I cannot get enough of Dean. "Do you have to go away?"

"Unfortunately," he says as we are getting dressed. "I hate leaving you."

"I hate it when you leave," I say with a soft smile. "This morning was great."

"I'm glad I could please you, Ms. Thomas," he says with his sexy smile.

"The pleasure was all mine," I say with a smile of my own. "Your stamina impresses me."

"My stamina?" he asks as he pulls a black t-shirt over his head. "I believe you have a pretty nice stamina yourself."

"Maybe so," I say with a smile as I button my blouse for work. "When do you come back?"

"I'm taking a red eye flight on Tuesday after the Smackdown tapings so I should be home early Wednesday morning. I'll try not to wake you up."

"No please do wake me up," I say, "I don't work on Wednesday."

"And you want me to wake you up on your day off?" he asks.

"Yeah," I say with a smile as I pull on my black pants as he pulls up his blue jeans. "Maybe Wednesday we can pick up where we left off."

"Freak," he says with a smile.

"Yeah I may be but you love it," I say with a smile.

"You have no idea," he says with a smile before he kisses my lips softly. "As much fun as that sounds I actually have to meet with my lawyer that morning and my mom in the afternoon. You are more than welcome to come have lunch at my mom's house. I'm sure she would be glad to have you."

"Okay," I say. "Can I have you at night all to myself?"

"After group, I'm all yours, Baby, and you can do whatever you want to me."

"Anything?" I ask with a smile.

"Anything," he says with another smile. "We should get you to work," he says, "I don't want you to get in trouble with the boss," he says. "I shouldn't have kept you tied up so long."

"I think this is a good reason," I say with a smile as I throw my hair up as he throws a baseball cap on over his wild hair. "I'm sure my boss won't be too upset."

"I don't know," he says, "Richard runs a tight ship but I'm sure he will make an exception for his brother's girlfriend."

"I'm sure," I say with a smile.

I grab my purse after putting on my work shoes. Dean meets me at the car and we are running late. I'm definitely going to be late for work but it was worth it because I was spending time with my man. Dean drives me to work and then walks in with me when we get to the diner. We walk into the diner with our hands locked together and our fingers intertwined. We walk over to the counter just as Richard is coming out of the office. "You're late again, Azzy," he says. "I thought we talked about this."

"It's my fault, Richard," says Dean. "We were busy and I just lost track of time. I'm sorry."

"You two," he says shaking his head. "I hope that you both are using protection at this stage," he says.

"Of course," says Dean with a smile. "But someday we won't be."

"Well, hopefully not for a long time," says Richard. "So do you need me to take Azzy home tonight?"

"I actually have a ride home," I say.

"All right," says Richard. "But if you need me to I can take you home."

"I'm all right," I say, "I have a friend taking me home. I didn't want to trouble you."

"It would be no trouble at all," he says.

"It's okay," I say, "it's covered."

"All right," he says, "so you can get to work now."

"Can't I say bye to her first?" asks Dean with a smile. "I'm going away for a few days."

"You have 5 minutes," he says, "I need her."

"All right," says Dean with a smile as we walk toward the door. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too," I say with a smile. "I love you."

"I love you too," he says before he kisses my lips softly. "I'll see you when I get back. If you need anything you can talk to Richard. He will be picking you up for work while I'm gone and he'll be taking you home. Okay?"

"I actually have a ride to and from work while you're gone. Okay?"

"Okay," he says, "but I don't want to hear that you called in sick or didn't show up like you've been doing the last couple weeks," he says.

"I'll be here," I say, "I promise."

"All right," he says. "I have to go. I'll call you later and answer your phone. I hate when you don't pick up the phone when I'm away. It makes me nervous."

"I'll pick up," I say, "Have a safe flight."

"Thank-you," he says, "I'll see you Wednesday."

"See you on Wednesday," I say with a smile before we share one last kiss before he leaves to head to Texas for the weekend.

My day goes faster than I expected it to and as I am on my way to lunch Richard is over at the register after doing an audit on the drawer before it changes hands. "There's $150 missing," he says. "What happened to the money, Chrissy?" he asks one of the girls working the register.

"I don't know," she says, "I left Azzy in charge of the register while I was on break."

Richard looks at me as I look at him. "Azzy, come here," he says. I make my way over to him after letting out a deep breath. "Did you watch the register while Chrissy was on break?"

"For like 10 minutes," I say, "that was it. I didn't have any customers that paid."

"So you didn't put your hands in the drawer?"

"No," I say, "I didn't put my hands in the drawer."

"Well, there's been a lot of money going missing lately. A couple days ago it was $200, the time before that there was $50 missing. It's not small amounts. Money isn't just disappearing," he says. "If it was $5 here or $10 there or maybe a dollar or two yeah that's possible. Someone doesn't just miscount $200 so someone around here is taking it. I don't know who it is but I will find out who is taking money from this register."

"I have never stolen anything in my life," says Chrissy.

"I don't know who it is," he says, "but I will find out who it is. From now on, I only want Chrissy on the drawer when she is scheduled and if she has to take a break I'll watch the register myself. Azzy, you are not to touch the register at all."

"I didn't do anything," I say, "it sounds like you're accusing me of something."

"Come to my office and we can talk," he says.

"I'd rather not but I don't think Dean would appreciate you accusing me of stealing."

"I wasn't asking you. I was telling you, Azalea," he says, "let's go have a talk."

"Fine," I say as I walk with him to his office.

He shuts the door behind us and tells me to have a seat. "Now," he says, "do you think I'm stupid?"

"No," I say.

"You think I don't have cameras watching that register?" he asks.

"I guess," I say with a shrug. "I didn't take anything."

"Really because every time that drawer goes short I check the tapes and each time the drawer has gone short I've seen you in the drawer and pocketing money. I don't know what you're doing with all that money and I don't care but you need to stop stealing it. I am not telling Dean about it this time, " he says, "because I know he loves you and the last thing I want to see is him getting hurt finding out the truth about you. If you steal again from my register I will be letting Dean know. I am going to let it slide this time but you will NOT have access to that register. You are not allowed to touch it at any time," he says. "I don't want to see you anywhere near it. Next time you steal from me I tell Dean and I press charges. Are we clear?"

"Yes," I say, "we're clear. Can I go to lunch now?"

"How about you just go home for the rest of the day we can do without you," he says.

"I would like to work the rest of my shift," I say.

"It would be better if you left for the day, go home, think and come back here with a better attitude on time tomorrow morning. NO excuses you better be here by 8 in the morning and if you aren't you will NO longer have a job here. I don't care if you're dating my brother or not. I am not going to put up with the stealing and the lack of interest in your job. I hired you out of the goodness of my heart. You're not going to make a fool out of me. Are we clear?"

"Okay," I say, "I'll go home for the day and I'll be back at 8 in the morning."

"Good," he says. "AND don't think about calling off. I know you live with my brother now and I will stop in to make sure you're okay if you do call off. Dean may be blinded by you but I see right through you. It's only a matter of time, Azzy before he finds out what you're doing remember that. The truth always comes out."

"I got it," I say, "I'm leaving now."

I clock out for the day and I walk out of the diner. I walk down the street and meet Ty and Chris in the alley. "Do you got the money?" asks Ty.

"I got it," I say pulling it out. "Do you have what I asked for?"

"Yeah everything you need I got right here," he says, "when do you go back to work?"

"Tomorrow morning," I say, "my boss knows I'm stealing money."

"Oh shit," he says, "is he going to tell your boyfriend?"

"Not this time but if I do it again he is and he's going to press charges. I need to get my money from somewhere else. I need to get high so are we doing this or not?"

"Yeah, Baby," says Ty, "calm down, give me the money and you get what you need."

"All right," I say handing him the money. He stands and counts it before he hands me the drugs I asked for. "Thank-you," I say. "Are you two down for hanging out?"

"Always, Baby," he says with a smile as he pockets the money and I put my stash into my purse.

"Let's go to my house," I say, "well, my boyfriend's house to hang out. You can't be there long. I don't know if his brother will come check on me or not but we can hang for a bit."

"Cool," he says as we walk to Chris' car. We climb in and I give them directions to Dean's house. We pull up and Chris and Ty are in awe of the house. I let security know they are with me and they open the gates for us. Chris parks the car and we get out. I pull out my key and open the door. I put in the alarm code and allow Chris and Ty into the house. "Damn, Azzy, you stepped up."

"I know right," I say with a smile. "But Dean is a good guy," I say.

"I'm sure he is," says Chris as he looks around. "This house is bank," he says.

"I'm not stealing his stuff to sell forget about that."

"What if he was robbed?"

"He won't be robbed," I say, "All right? Leave him alone. I love him."

"All right," he says. "We'll leave it alone but damn this is a nice house. It's like one of those rapper houses you see on TV. This guy makes bank."

"He does," I say with a smile. "He really does but it's not about the money. I do truly love him. I just enjoy the perks," I say. "Follow me," I say before I give them a tour of the house before we have our own party in the living room. I just need to get my fix. It's been a few days and I am craving. I wish I didn't crave so much and I could stay sober but it's getting harder and harder to stay sober. Heroin controls everything. I hate how addicted I am but yet I can't get past it.

 ***A/N: What did you think of Azzy stealing from Dean? Is she that desperate that she has to steal from the man that she loves? Do you think she truly loves him? What did you think about the money going missing at the restaurant? WEre you surprised that Richard knew what was happening? Do you think he should tell Dean now or wait? Do you understand why he doesn't want to tell Dean? Do you think Richard likes Azzy? What do you think about Azzy bringing Chris and Ty to Dean's house? Do you think Azzy wants to be sober or do you think she would rather be high? Do you think she has a conscience? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	14. Not The Best For You

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much***

 **DEAN's POINT OF VIEW:**

I spent most of the morning talking to my lawyer about my ex-wife and my daughter McKenna. It had a pretty good outcome and we don't have to go to court. McKenna's mother is not fighting my petition to be a part of McKenna's life and to have visitation. My lawyer said that she realizes that as her father and with my name on the birth certificate I have every right to my daughter and knows she would have lost the battle anyway so she agreed to let me go to South Dakota in a couple weeks to meet McKenna and have some visitation with her. I can't control my excitement. I've been waiting for this for almost 5 years now since the last time I saw her. I don't know what I'm going to say to her or what I'm going to get her but I'm just glad I'm finally getting this time to be with my daughter and hopefully this is the start of a relationship with us. I want to be in her life. I will admit when she was a baby I screwed up and I did the wrong thing but now I'm 29 years old. I am not the same guy I used to be. I have my life together, I have a good job, I have a nice house and I'm sober. I'm in a much better place now than I was 10 years ago.

After my appointment with my lawyer I stop back at my house to pick up Azzy so that we can go to my mom's house to have lunch. My mom asked me last week to join her for lunch this week and I will never turn down lunch with my mom. I love my mom. She is the woman that raised me and when I needed help even though I didn't want to admit it she helped me and I'm glad she did. I'm a mama's boy and I always have been so I'm sure I always will be. "Thanks for coming with me to lunch today, I know you had other plans for us today but my mom asked me to have lunch with her today. I didn't want to cancel on her."

"It's okay," says Azzy with a smile as I ring the doorbell as we stand on my mom's porch. "I like your mom and I don't mind. Thanks for inviting me to lunch."

"It's my pleasure," I say with a smile before I kiss her lips softly. "So how was work?" I ask as we wait for my mom to answer the door.

"It's okay," she says.

"Did something happen?" I ask.

"No. Everything is fine," she says as my mom opens the door and her smile on her face fades as she sees us standing there.

"Hey, Mom," I say with a smile.

"Hello, Dean," she says with a half-smile. "I'm glad you could come to lunch today. I see you brought Azzy with you," she says as she looks at Azzy. "I thought it was just going to be you?"

"I figured since Azzy was off that it would be good for us to have lunch together," I say as she lets us in but never saying a word to Azzy as she shuts the door behind us.

"I was looking forward to having lunch with just you but that's okay," she says. "Hello, Azzy."

"Hello," says Azzy with a smile. "How are you?"

"I've been better," she says. "Dean, honey, how are you?" she asks as we walk to the kitchen after hanging up our jackets on the coat rack by the door.

"I'm good," I say taking Azzy's hand into mine as we walk. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," she says. "So how was your trip?"

"It was good," I say with a smile. "I'm glad to be home though to spend some time with Azzy and with you."

"Glad you're here," she says with a smile as we reach the kitchen. "I made your favorite; spaghetti and meatballs," she says.

"I love it, Thanks mom," I say as the smell of pasta and pasta sauce fill my nostrils. I love spaghetti and meatballs. I always have. It was my favorite food growing up and still is. My mom can cook. She's a wonderful cook, I always try to have one home cooked meal from her when I'm home after being out on the road eating catering and fast food. NOTHING compares to my mom's cooking.

"You're welcome," she says as she starts to put spaghetti on a plate for us. "Azzy, do you like spaghetti?"

"Yes, Ma'am, I do," says Azzy with a smile as I pull her chair out for her to sit down. I kiss the top of her head softly as I walk over to the stove to help my mom. I hand Azzy her plate, then take my mom's plate to the table as well and then my own plate. I ask them if they want anything to drink and they tell me a glass of water so I get us each a glass of water before I take a seat next to Azzy. My mouth is watering as I look at the mountain of spaghetti in front of me, soaked in pasta sauce, my mom's homemade pasta sauce and then the 4 meatballs she puts on top of my spaghetti I am in Heaven. My stomach growls as I look at it, my mouth watering just to taste it. I pick up my fork and dig in as does Azzy. "This is really good," she says. "Thank-you."

"You're welcome," says my mom. "What do you think, Dean?"

"Good," I say as I eat. "It's really good."

"I'm glad you like it," she says with a smile as she eats her own spaghetti. "So I heard you two are living together now?"

"Yes," I say, "Azzy moved in with me a couple weeks ago," I say.

"Things are going pretty fast aren't they?" she asks.

"I wouldn't say they are going fast. I just like being in her company," I say. "I like spending as much time with her as I can."

"Okay," she says, "I hope that you two are being careful if you know what I mean," she says. "We wouldn't want any accidents to happen."

"Mom," I say as Azzy and I make eye contact. I can see the embarrassment in her hazel eyes. "Azzy is on birth control. You have nothing to worry about."

"Well, not all birth control is 100% you need to use condoms too. I don't think either of you are ready for a baby right now especially you, Dean. You have to focus on your daughter right?"

"Right," I say.

"Believe me, Ms. Ambrose, I don't want to have a baby any time soon. I am not ready to have a baby. I still need to get myself together before I think about getting pregnant."

"Well, condoms also prevent diseases," she says.

"Mom," I say, "I don't think this is a good conversation to have over lunch. Azzy and I are both adults and we are living our own life together. We will do what we want. We're good you don't have to worry."

"I'll always worry about you, you're my son," she says, "so I didn't know this whole relationship was this serious?"

"We are in love," I say with a smile as Azzy smiles at me. "But right now we're just enjoying our time together whatever happens in the future we'll see but right now we're just spending time together."

"So no talk about marriage?" she asks.

"Not at this point," I say with a smile. "Maybe someday but not at this moment."

"Okay," she says, "so you had a meeting with your lawyer today how did that go?"

"McKenna's mom is allowing me to see her. She gave permission and signed the papers. My lawyer said she was scared that she would lose anyway so she signed the papers. I'm going to South Dakota in a couple weeks to finally see her."

"Dean, that's wonderful," she says with a smile. "I'm so happy for you. I'm glad. You deserve this. It's about time that you finally get to see your daughter. It's been a long time coming."

"I know," I say as I eat. "I can't wait to see her except I don't know what to do or say. Do I get her a gift? If so what do I get her? What do I say to her?"

"She's 10 right?" asks Azzy.

"Yes," I say. "She'll be 11 soon. What do 11 year old girls like?"

"I don't know," says Azzy, "I wasn't like most 11 year old girls," she says making me think about the story she told me the other day about her childhood. She didn't really have much of one which is probably why she is such a mess now, a beautiful mess but her life is a mess. "How about nail polish? All girls like to have their nails painted," she says.

"Maybe I'll call her mom. She gave me her phone number so that I can talk to her to set up the visit. I'll call her later to talk to her about what to get McKenna. I can't believe I'm going to see my baby girl."

"You are so excited," says Azzy with a smile. "I'm happy for you."

"Thanks," I say with a smile. "I can't wait for you to meet her someday."

"I can't wait either," she says with a smile. "Did they say when you were going to be able to bring her here?"

"No right now we are just sticking to South Dakota and small visits. We aren't going to the extreme yet. We want McKenna to get used to the idea of having her dad in her life before we do all that."

"Oh," says Azzy.

"I'm happy for you, Dean," says my mom. "I think talking to her mom is a great idea on what to get her. Make sure you take lots of pictures of her. I am dying to see how beautiful she is."

"I will," I say with a smile. "I can't believe after all these years it's finally happening."

"Neither can I," she says. "You would have been such a good father," she says. "I can't believe that she just took her away from you like that."

"I was in the wrong place. My mind wasn't right and I was a drug addict. I deserved it but it's not like she was much better. She could still be using for all I know. She only stopped cause she was pregnant. She only got pregnant because we were high," I say. "Otherwise it wouldn't have happened. It's crazy how much drugs can mess up a person's life. I really screwed up but I'm glad that I had you and Richard to help me get back on my feet and help me out even when I didn't think I needed it. It was the best thing you two could have done for me and now I have a wonderful life. I love being sober."

"It's good to see you sober," she says with a smile. "Azzy, how's your sobriety coming?" she asks as Azzy is drinking her water and almost chokes at the question. "My goodness, I was just asking. I didn't mean for you to choke on your water. Are you still sober?" she asks.

"Of course she is," I say, "because if she wasn't I wouldn't be with her. We discussed this didn't we, Azzy?" I ask as I rub her back, "and if I find out she's using it's all over."

"Yes," says Azzy. "But my sobriety is going okay," she says but isn't truly confident in her answer. I rub her back as I make eye contact with her but she quickly looks away.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"I'm fine," she says, "is there a bathroom?"

"Yeah," I say, "if you walk out of the kitchen turn right and it's at the end of the hall."

"Okay," she says as she stands up with her purse. "I'll be right back."

"Okay," I say before she makes her way to the bathroom leaving my mom and me alone. "What do you think, Ma?" I ask her.

"You want my honest opinion?" she asks.

"Yeah," I say.

"I don't like her at first I did like her but there's just something about her that I don't like. She just rubs me the wrong way. I don't trust her, Dean. I don't think she's good for you."

"Has she done anything for you not to trust her?" I ask.

"Not yet but it's just her demeanor she's not a good person. I think she's into drugs again."

"That's ridiculous," I say, "she is not into drugs again. There is no way."

"Dean, did you see her eyes? The signs are there. She's always calling out of work when you're not home and Richard said money has been missing."

"What?" I ask. "What do you mean money is missing?"

"Richard said lately money has gone missing when Azzy is there."

"That's ridiculous," I say, "Azzy wouldn't steal from Richard. There's no way. I don't think she would do that."

"Dean, you're blinded by her. You're so in love with her and whatever she's offering in the bedroom that you are missing all the obvious signs of a drug addict."

"She's a recovering drug addict," I say, "she's not a drug addict."

"Oh yeah?" she asks, "if she's not using why is she so skinny? Why are her eyes dark underneath? And better yet why did she take her purse to the bathroom?"

"Because she has her period," I say, "she got it yesterday. She's not using, Mom."

"Dean, just open your eyes and see that she's using. She's playing you and Richard said she's been hanging out with these two guys pretty often. I don't know, Dean. I don't think she's the girl for you."

"Mom, Azzy isn't using," I say. "She wouldn't be."

"Dean, I don't want to see you get hurt with that one. I don't trust her."

"Mom, she's fine," I say, "Why doesn't Richard talk to me about this stuff? Why is he talking about my girlfriend to everyone else but me?"

"Because no one wants to see you get hurt. That's why I wanted to have lunch with you today so we could sit down and talk about Azzy. I don't think she's the best person for you."

"Mom, Azzy is a wonderful girl. Yes she has her flaws but she's not using. I would be the first to know," I say. I don't know if I am in denial or I'm just not seeing what everyone else is seeing. I don't think she's using and if she is she hasn't shown me any signs of using. Azzy is a heroin addict I would see the track marks and I haven't seen any. "She's not using."

"Dean, you can think what you want but I know what I see. She's not good for you. You're trying to have a relationship with McKenna if she is using it could ruin everything you've worked for, Dean. Don't be blinded by her beauty and her seduction. Open your eyes, Dean. Please."

"Mom, I'll keep an eye out but I really don't think she's using."

"I hope she's not for your case, Dean," she says, "but like I said, I don't trust her."

"I get it," I say as Azzy walks back into the kitchen. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," she says. "I'm good."

"That's good to know," I say with a smile as we finish our lunch together. I think my mom is just looking for an excuse to get me to break up with Azzy. I haven't noticed anything suspicious about her, the calling off of work and the money being missing is news to me though. I just don't know what to think. I don't want to accuse her of anything and be wrong making myself look like an asshole but I also don't want to deny the fact she could be using. I just have to keep an eye out for any noticeable signs of abuse. Anyone could have taken that money from Richard's diner. It doesn't mean that it was Azzy. It could have been anyone.

 **AZZY's POINT OF VIEW:**

Sitting in the living room with Dean when my cell phone starts to ring, I look at the screen and see that it's Brooke calling. I haven't seen or talked to Brooke since I moved out of her house. I get up to answer the phone in another room. "Hello," I say.

"Bitch, where the fuck is Kylie's money?" she asks me.

"I'm sorry," I say, "what are you talking about?"

"Do you think I'm stupid, Azzy? Where is the money that you stole from Kylie? I went to fill her piggy bank today and noticed some of it was missing. Where is it?"

"I didn't take any money from your daughter," I say.

"Azzy, I know what you do when you use. I know that you took her money and I want it back. If I don't get it back I'm going to find you and kick your ass."

"Brooke, you don't want to go there," I say. "I'll kick your ass."

"Really, Azzy? Where is the money, Bitch?"

"I don't have any money," I say.

"Where did you spend it?" she asks, "let me guess on your drugs," she says. "Stealing from a baby you should be ashamed of yourself. You know that money is to go toward her college education."

"Brooke, I don't have her money."

"Azzy, you're the only one that knows where it is and had access to it. I want the money back. No one is going to steal from my daughter, not some low-life drug addict like you. I was nice enough to let your ass stay in my house and the thanks I get is you stealing from my 1 year old daughter. What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing is wrong with me," I say, "I don't have the money."

"You better have that $200 in 2 days or I will find you. I know where you work. I want that $200 by Friday if not you're gonna be sorry. Remember what I can do to people that do me wrong."

"I'm not scared of you," I say. "I don't have the $200."

"You best find it by Friday and I'm not joking with you anymore, Azzy. You steal from me and steal from my kid I don't play that. I want the money or your ass."

"Fuck you, Brooke," I say before I hang up the phone and walk back to the living room.

I sit down on the couch next to Dean as he wraps his arm around me. I snuggle into his firm chest as he strokes my arm softly with his fingertips. "Who was on the phone? It sounded intense."

"Just Brooke," I say, "no big deal."

"Are you two in a fight?"

"Not exactly," I say, "she's tripping."

"She's tripping?" he asks. "What does that mean?"

"She's bugging. It's not a big deal," I say.

"All right," he says.

"Dean," I say.

"Yeah?"

"Do you have $200 that I can borrow?"

"What do you need $200 for, Azzy?" he asks. "That's a lot of money."

"I just owe it to Brooke. I need to have the $200 by Friday."

"So that's what it was about. Why do you owe her $200? I thought the rent was paid and the next month was paid as well and you don't even live there anymore. Tell her to take that $200."

"Dean," I say, "I borrowed some money from her. She needs that $200."

"And she can take it out of the extra $200 I gave her when you don't even live there. I'm not giving you $200, Azzy."

"Please, Dean," I say, "I really need to pay her back by Friday. She wants the money in hand."

"If that's the case I want my $200 back from her," he says. "You don't live there anymore so I don't owe that to her. I'll give you $200," he says.

"Thank-you," I say with a smile. "Really thank-you."

"Don't make it a habit," he says as he pulls out his wallet. He hands me $200 and I put it into my jeans pocket.

"Thank-you, Baby."

"You're welcome," he says. "Do you want to watch a movie?"

"Yeah," I say, "that would be nice."

"All right," he says with a smile. "What do you want to watch?"

"You pick. I don't know anything about movies."

"All right," he says, "how about we watch The Avengers?"

"Sounds good to me," I say as he gets up to put the movie on. He sits back down, turns out the lights and holds me close as we spend the rest of the night watching a movie together.

 ***A/N: So what did you think of Dean's mom in this chapter? Is she onto Azzy? Why is it so hard for Dean to admit the fact Azzy could be using? Why is it so hard for him to see what Richard, his mom and Brooke are seeing? Is he too invested and too blind to see it? What do you think about Dean getting a chance to see McKenna is this a long time coming? What did you think about Brooke threatening Azzy to get her money back? Do you think Azzy is afraid of Brooke or is there going to be a throwdown? What did you think of Azzy asking Dean for the $200? ARe you surprised he gave it to her? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	15. Toxic

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much***

 **AZZY's POINT OF VIEW:**

I walk into Richard's diner on Friday morning after Dean and I spent the morning making love to each other. He doesn't have to leave until tomorrow to go to Indiana so we're using tonight as a night to have a date night and hang out together before he leaves for a couple days. "Azzy, you're late," he says, "again." I can hear the annoyance in his voice as he addresses my tardiness again.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I was busy this morning with Dean and we just lost track of time. I'm sorry."

"That seems to be the excuse all the time," he says, "remember what we talked about. If you can't take this job seriously you don't need to work here."

"It won't happen again," I say.

"That's what you always say Azzy. You always say it won't happen again and time and time again you are constantly late. You're always late no matter what and that's when you show up most of time you don't bother showing up. If you don't want this job I can give it to someone else. First you steal from me which is the ultimate sin and second you are never on time or you never show up. You know I didn't have to give you a job here. I gave you this job because my brother built you up, told me that you were a good girl. He told you would be a good worker. I gave you a job for him not because I wanted to. If you don't want to work here you don't have to work here," he says, "do you want this job or not, Azzy?"

"I do want the job," I say.

"Then you need to do better at your job. All you have to do is show up when you're scheduled and show up on time it's not rocket science, Azzy. Do you know how to tell time?"

"I'm not stupid," I say.

"Well, you don't act like it. You're on thin ice. One more incident with you or one more time being late or not showing up when you're scheduled your time here will be done. I can't keep wasting hours on someone that doesn't want to be here. You made it obviously clear you don't want to work here but I'm giving you one last chance to prove to me you want to work here."

"And what about Dean?" I ask, "you're just going to fire his girlfriend?"

"You bet your ass I am and when he asks me why he's going to get NOTHING but the truth. I know what you've been up to, Azzy. I know that you're doing drugs again. I know that you're stealing from me, from Dean and I know you stole from my mom when you were there the other day don't think she didn't tell me that some money went missing when you were there. That's your boyfriend's mom. That's the woman he loves most in this world and honestly I'm sure if it came down to choosing between you and her he would choose her. I hope he opens his eyes about you soon. I don't know what you've done to blind him and not see you for what you truly are but if he doesn't wake up soon I'm going to let him know what kind of monster you truly are."

"Whatever can I get to work now?"

"Yeah," he says, "get into your uniform and start filling up the sugars and the syrup glasses," he says.

"Okay," I say as I shake my head. I make my way to the back to put my purse in the locker room and I know I can't take it already. There's so much stress already that I need to use the bathroom. I walk into the bathroom and lock the door. I do what I need to do and snort a couple lines of coke before I shoot up between my toes. I instantly feel better and feel my stress and anxiety drift away from the power of the heroin and the cocaine. I can face the world now. I throw everything into my purse and splash water on my face before I walk back to the employee room to lock my purse away and put on my uniform. I do what Richard instructs me to do shortly after and then the doors open and the diner is open for business.

The morning is a busy one. The morning rush is a lot busier than usual, even Richard is out on the floor helping to deliver food while there are only 2 waitresses out on the floor. It's obvious he wasn't expecting a big rush this morning. It's overwhelming and crazy but I keep it together. I have never been so relieved as I was when the rush finally died down and the booths and tables were empty. I go through and clean up the tables, collecting my tips. I put them into my pocket before I finish cleaning up the tables. "Richard," I say after the last table is cleaned and there is hardly anyone left in the diner.

"Yes, Azzy," he says as he is at the register. "What are my rules about you being near the register?" This guy is a dick. I know his rules but he is a dick. Dean is so sweet compared to him. I understand I haven't gotten on his nice list but I am still a human being and I still have feelings. The way he treats me makes me feel like nothing.

"I know the rules, I'm not touching it. I was just coming to see if it would be all right if I took my lunch break now."

"You just got here," he says.

"Like 4 hours ago," I say, "it's time for my lunch. Can I take my lunch now?"

"30 minutes and that's it, Azzy. Remember what I said, if you're late coming back from lunch that's it. Your time will be done."

"I know, 30 minutes," I say. "I'll be back."

"Okay," he says as I shake my head. I make my way to the employee room to get my purse and then head out to hang out on my lunch.

It's a cold day in Cincinnati and the smell of snow is in the air. It's barely getting out of the 20's today so it is still in the teens as I walk down the sidewalk just to get the fresh air. I hate myself so much. I want to get clean but to get clean I have to tell Dean I'm using again and he told me that if he finds out I am using again he's going to leave me but I need help. I know that I do. I don't want to be a drug addict anymore. I'm hurting everyone that I love but I can't help it. I need help. I could have gone to group last night and asked Dean's friend to help me but I don't feel comfortable going to her when I don't know her. Heroin is evil, manipulative and deceiving. It makes you fall in love with it and when you try to break up from it, it destroys you. It tears you apart mentally and physically. The sweating, the shivers, the sickness you need it to heal you. Once you start you can't stop and I realize that. I want to stop, I need to stop. I want to go to school. I want to be able to marry Dean someday and have kids with him but at this point right now and the road I am on I will never be a wife or a mother. I need to get help for my problem. I can't do it on my own. A little group can't make me give it up. I need something more but it feels so good to have it in my body. It makes me feel happy. It doesn't hurt when it's in my veins. "There you are you little bitch," says Brooke as I am walking down the street. I roll my eyes before I turn around and face her. "Do you have my fucking money?"

"I don't have it," I say, "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too that I ever trusted your thieving ass. I let you into MY apartment. I let you live with me and you steal from my daughter. What kind of monster are you?"

"I'm not a monster," I say, "I'm not a monster."

"Only monsters steal from babies," she says. "You need help, Azzy. You have a problem."

"I don't have a problem," I say.

"Yes you do," she says, "You have a problem and you need to get help. I think you're a bitch for stealing from my daughter but you need help."

"I don't need help!" I say, "I'm not the bitch here, Brooke."

"Oh yeah?" she asks. "The bitch that stole from an 18 month old is calling me a bitch. I told you I was going to kick your ass if I didn't have the money by today so where is it?"

"I don't have it," I say as I get her face. "I'm not scared of you, Brooke. I've never been scared of you. If you're going to kick my ass or try to kick my ass let's see you try. I'm right here, whore. Hit me," I say.

She shakes her head, "you're pathetic."

"I'm not the pathetic one," I say as I push her. She lets out a laugh and pushes me back. I push her back once again and she comes at me tackling me to the ground. She starts punching my face before I kick her off of me and get in a few good punches. People start to gather around with their cell phones as Brooke and I are tearing each other apart. She pulls me by my hair and swings me around throwing me down so I land face first on the pavement. The blood starts pouring from my head before I try to get up but she kicks me back down, dragging me by my hair, my face being scraped up by the concrete as she does it. I manage to roll myself over as she continues to drag me by my hair, my legs fall victim to the concrete this time, the blood pouring from my head and the burn from the scrapes as she throws me back down on the ground. She has no mercy on me as she kicks me while I'm down. She kicks my ribs and kicks me down before she's on me again, punching me and hitting me. I finally get the strength to get her off of me and get her down on to the ground as I begin my assault.

"Azzy," says Richard's voice as he appears from nowhere. "Knock it off," he says as he pulls me off of Brooke.

"This ain't over, Bitch. I want that money that you stole from me."

"Here," I say pulling it out of my pocket. "Here's your fucking money, Bitch." I throw $200 at her as she picks it up from the ground. She counts it out and puts it in her pocket.

She walks over to me and says, "get yourself some help, Azzy before it's too late," and she walks away through the crowd of people as I wipe the blood from my head.

"Azzy," says Richard as he holds me up from falling. "What happened to you?"

"I got my ass kicked obviously," I say as I try to focus on him.

"Let's get you cleaned up," he says as he helps me back to the restaurant as the crowd breaks up. I have a horrible headache and my face is raw. It hurts so badly and my ribs hurt as we walk back. I whimper and cry. We get back to the restaurant and he walks me to his office. He leaves me in there before he returns with a first aid kit. He starts to pull stuff out of the kit to clean off my face. I know I'm a mess I don't even have to look all I know is that was a low-key ass kicking. It could have been a lot worse. I know the streets and that could have been worse. "Maybe you should go to the hospital," he says making me cringe as he wipes the blood from my face with a wet paper towel before putting peroxide on another paper towel to clean up my scrapes and cuts.

"No, I'll be all right," I say, "it is just a few scrapes. I'll be all right."

"Okay," he says, "so what happened? Why did you owe her money?"

"I stole from her too," I say sucking in a deep breath as it burns my cuts as he puts peroxide on them. He shakes his head. "Are you going to tell Dean?"

"I'm waiting for you to be truthful with him, Azzy. He loves you. I don't want to be the one that breaks that because you aren't truthful. It will all be better if the truth comes from you and not anyone else. He needs to know. Azzy, you're a great girl I'll give you that. When you were sober but once you started using again you changed. You changed who you were. You're so cold and deceiving. You were doing so well here and then you started to steal from me. What happened?"

"I fell back into my drugs," I say honestly. "I went to hang out with those two guys that came to see me and then it all started again. I try, Richard. I really try to break my habit but I can't. It's so hard. The moment I don't have my fix I am miserable. I hurt, I physically hurt and the only thing that helps that pain is when I am using. It takes it all away. I try to stop but I can't. I don't like to keep hurting the people I love," I say shaking my head. "But I can't help it. I need the money."

"You need to go to a rehab clinic, stay there for a while and get yourself together, Azzy. Dean loves you and I have never seen him like this with anyone. This is why I am so hesitant on telling him what you're doing because I don't want to see him hurt. I'm sure if you get help and you come out clean he will still love you the same but the lying and deceiving and the stealing, Azzy, that isn't helping. He was there too before. He knows what it feels like, he knows the pain of drug abuse but it took him losing everything to get his life together. He didn't think he had a problem either. He was in denial about it for the longest time but when everything fell apart he realized he needed to get help and he did. He went to get help. It took some time but he went to one of the best rehab clinics in the country and look at him now," he says, "don't you want a life like that?"

"I want a life that includes Dean," I say. "I love him, Richard. I really do. I need to break up with him before I hurt him more. I'm not good for him."

"Azzy, you just need to get help," he says.

"Dean has a great life I don't want to be the one that ruins it," I say, "I can't keep seeing him."

"You need to do what you need to do," he says, "but at the end of it all I just hope that you get all the help that you need."

"Okay," I say.

"And Azzy," he says, "I'm sorry but after today I think it's better that you don't work here anymore. You need to get yourself together. You will always be welcomed back but not until you get yourself together I'm sorry."

"So you're firing me?"

"I'm sorry," he says, "but yes, you're fired."

"Fair enough," I say as I let out a deep breath. I guess I deserve to lose my job. I deserve to lose everything.

 **LATER THAT AFTERNOON:**

After a long walk home I make my way through the gates of mine and Dean's house. The security guy buzzes me in and the gates to the driveway open. I make my way up them, freezing and cold and sore after everything that happened today. I get to the front door and put my key into the hole. I walk in and see Dean is in the living room. "Azzy," he says as he looks up at me from the book he's reading. "What happened?" he asks as he stands up after putting his book down.

"I got into a fight with Brooke," I say, "about the money."

"Damn," he says as he touches my face. "She did a number on you."

"I know," I say.

"I thought you worked till 4?" he asks.

"I lost my job too," I say.

"This is not the day for you is it?" he asks, "come sit down," he says after helping me out of my jacket. "Come on," he says taking me over to the couch. He sits down and I cuddle up next to him. "So why did you lose your job?"

"Because I'm not good at it, I'm always late and I called off too much so Richard fired me today."

"I'll talk to him," he says.

"Don't," I say, "I deserve it."

"Okay," he says, "so if you had the money for Brooke why did you get into a fight?"

"It's a long story, Dean, I don't want to get into it right now but I have been thinking on my long walk home."

"Why didn't you call me? I would have picked you up."

"I needed the time to think," I say. "Dean."

"Yeah?"

"I think we should break up," I say and I feel him still and his grip tighten around me.

"What? Why?" he asks. "I thought everything was going good between us."

"It is," I say, "but it's not you it's me," I say, "you don't want to be with someone like me."

"Azzy, I love you of course I want to be with you. I want to marry you someday and have kids with you. Of course I want to be with you."

"No, Dean, you don't. I'm a fuck up. I'm a disaster. I destroy everyone I know. Everyone I come in contact with I destroy. I destroyed my parents, I destroyed Brooke and Kylie I am toxic. You don't want to be with someone like me."

"You're not toxic," he says.

"Yes I am," I say, "and you don't want to be with me. I don't want to destroy your life like I have destroyed everyone else. I should do that myself."

"Where is all this coming from?" he asks. "I thought that you loved me?"

"I do love you, Dean. I really do love you," I say. "And that's why I think it's better that we go our separate ways. You have your shit together I'm nowhere close to having mine together. I'm sorry, Dean."

"Azzy, I love you. Please don't do this to me. I want to marry you. I want to be with you. Please don't leave me."

"Dean, I'm not the woman that you turn into a wife. You deserve better than me."

"Azzy, we can get your life together. I promise you that. And I want to turn you into a wife someday."

"Why? I can't cook, I can't clean. I can't do anything that a wife does. I can't screw up your life anymore, Dean. You have to let me go. I'm toxic."

"Azzy," he says as he gently grabs me by the arms so that I'm looking at him in his beautiful blue eyes. They're a deep blue at the moment and there are tears forming in them. "Don't leave me, I love you so much. Please don't leave me," he says and I can feel the attraction between us. He's pulling me toward him with a magnetic pull. He let's go of my arms as I wrap them around his neck, kissing him wildly and deeply. His hands taking control of my body as he runs them up and down my sore ribs, my tongue caressing his deeply, my hands in his wild hair. He tilts his head back allowing me to deepen the kiss. His hands undo my ponytail and my hair goes free falling over my shoulders. His hands fisting in my hair as I straddle him. I take my hands and cup his cheek as I continue my deep kiss. He pulls away breathless and says, "are you leaving me?"

"I'm not leaving you," I say with a smile before I kiss him back. He stands up and lays me down on the couch. Looking down at me with his blue eyes he takes off his white t-shirt exposing his perfect firm chest. I reach up and run my hands over it, combing through his chest hair before he lowers himself down to me, covering me with his body. His teeth glide across my ear, he gently bites my earlobe as I moan out. His soft lips kiss my neck softly and passionately. I feel his teeth clenching into my neck softly and his soft little sucks. He nibbles and sucks my neck softly. I moan out in pleasure, his legs intertwined with mine his erection against his jeans fighting to come out. A soft moan escapes his lips as I take my hand over the thickness of his erection and rub it through his jeans as his kisses make their way to my chest. He sits me up and pulls my shirt off over my head and quickly unsnaps my bra. His hands find my breasts immediately as he kneads and massages them softly and firmly making me cry out in pleasure. He makes his way down my body, his long tongue finding its way to my navel, he dips it inside licking it softly making me squirm beneath him as his hands continue to work with my breasts. His lips find my hipbone as he lays soft kisses and his teeth nibble at it, his erection getting harder against my leg as my hand continues to stroke it. "I want you, Dean. I want you now."

He smiles at me as he pulls my black pants away followed by my white panties. He tosses them to the floor as he stands up. He unbuttons his jeans pulling them down. His erection large against his briefs he pulls them down freeing his erection. He is more than ready to take me on this couch right now. He spreads my legs softly as he nibbles and kisses the inside of my thighs. I can feel myself getting ready for him. He looks at me as his lips kiss my sex softly before his tongue is making love to me and his finger rubbing my clit softly. I arch my back up toward him as his long tongue sinks deeper inside of me. I grip onto the pillow on the couch as he continues his love making with his tongue. I feel the passion tearing through my body, my eyes go close as my legs begin to quiver and shake. I cry out in passion as the passion rips through my body and I find my release. His long tongue licking up the hot juices of my passion. I need him inside of me now and I know I can't wait any longer. He knows me so well because he looks up at me with those blue eyes before he crawls up my body, covering me with his perfect body. He sinks his erection deep into my sex as we both moan out in pleasure. He starts to move slowly, softly and gently as he makes love to me on the couch. My hands in his hair as he pushes himself deep inside me, I move my hips to meet his rhythm. His soft thrusts sinking deeper into as I arch my back up, my toes digging into the other end of the couch as the climax rips through my body and tears through me like a waterfall and a cry of passion fills the room as my hot juices explode from my body, covering his erection. He continues his soft thrusts and soft movements riding out my climax. I feel him growing larger and thicker inside of me. One last thrust and he falls apart, filling me with his seed with another powerful climax as he captures my lips with his. A release so powerful I feel it between our legs. It pleases me that I can bring him to this point of ecstasy and pleasure. I lay holding him in my arms neither of us wanting to break apart. "I'm glad you're staying," he says with a soft smile as he looks at me with his blue eyes before kissing my lips softly.

"Me too," I say with a smile as we lay there intimately together. I know he deserves better than me but I love him too much to just leave him.

 ***A/N: What do you think of the way Richard treats Azzy? Do you think he's too tough on her? What did you think about her using in the bathroom at work? Is she getting desperate? What about stealing from Dean's mom? What did you think about Brooke beating her up? Was it deserving? What are your thoughts on Richard firing her? Do you think Azzy is starting to break? Does she realize she needs help? What do you think is keeping her from getting the help that she needs? Should she have left Dean instead of having sex with him? Why do you think she went back on her word of breaking up with him? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	16. It All Crashes Down

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. they were greatly appreciated thank-you all so much***

 **A COUPLE DAYS LATER:**

"What's going on?" I ask Richard as we end up at his diner after we were hanging out for the day. No one is there except for Brooke, my mom and now Richard and me. Something is up. "I thought we were going to get something to eat?"

"There's food here," he says parking his car. "We need to talk to you," he says. "It's about Azzy."

"Would you get off her back?" I ask. "You've been on her back the last few days. She's not a bad person."

"So you think," he says, "we just want to talk to you. You're talking about marrying her, Dean," he says, "that's not a good idea."

"Oh here we go again," I say rolling my eyes. The previous day I had mentioned to Richard that I was going engagement ring shopping for Azzy to propose to her on Christmas Eve. I think it would be romantic but he gave me a whole lecture on how that would be a bad idea and I shouldn't marry her. I know he doesn't like Azzy and he has no reason not to like her. He was against me going ring shopping so he had me hang out with him today so I didn't end up at the jewelry store I suppose. He can't stop me from asking her to marry me. He can't control my life. I love Azzy and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. No one can stop me so whatever he has planned isn't going to change my mind about her.

We get out of his car and walk into the diner. My mom walks over to me and hugs me as we reach the table. "Sit down, Dean," says Richard. "We need to talk to you."

"I don't know what this is about," I say, "but if this is about me wanting to marry Azzy I don't think you will change my mind."

"Where is she tonight?" he asks.

"She's at home waiting for me," I say, "so can we make this quick?"

"It will be as quick as you want it," he says taking a seat. "Look, Azzy is in trouble. She needs a lot of help. Help that I don't think your group or you can give her. She needs something more than that."

"She doesn't need help and the help she does need I can help her."

"Dean, she's using again," says Brooke. "She has been for a few weeks now. She has a problem and she needs help. She's stealing from everyone to get her fix. I care about her because she's my friend and she was doing well for those few weeks but when Chris and Ty came back into town is when she started to fall off the track."

""She's not using," I say.

"Think about it," says Brooke, "she's always asking for money. Money keeps disappearing, she wasn't showing up for work, she's losing weight, she's not herself. She's moody and she's emotional. She is using, Dean and she needs help before you get hurt and before she gets hurt. Chris and Ty are no joke, Dean. Right now they haven't put her out on the streets but if you don't get her the help that she needs and you don't realize that she has a problem that's where she's going to end up. They're going to pump her with drugs, throw her out on the streets and it is going to destroy her. You make her happy, Dean. She truly loves you. The only thing she really knows is pain and heartache. She never really had anyone that cares about her like you do and the fact you're so blinded by the fact she's using or maybe you don't want to admit it is hurting her. She needs help. She stole from me, she stole from Kylie and I'm sure she's stealing from you too. She can't stop. I know that she can't. It's going to get worse before it gets better."

"She's not using," I say denying the obvious. She can't be using. How could she use knowing how much I love her and use knowing that she could lose me? "I told her that if she was using she'd lose me."

"And that's why she's scared, Dean," says Brooke, "she needs help. Don't let her lose you. Be there for her but get her help. She needs rehab. She only detoxed, Dean, she never underwent actual treatment. She needs help. It took me months to get clean and it was the best thing I have ever done. She needs help."

"Dean," says Richard as I am letting this all process in my mind. I hate to think that she's using but there are some signs there. It does explain some money missing from my wallet and her always asking me for money. It explains the unanswered texts and phone calls. It also explains the weight loss. I'm hoping they're wrong but I don't think they are. I want them to be wrong though. "I know you love her and you want to marry her but she is NOT the best person for you. Not at all is she good for you. You know how dangerous being around a drug addict can be. What if those two guys come after you? Is she worth all that?"

"No one is coming after me," I say, "and what two guys?"

"Chris and Ty," says Brooke. "They are her suppliers, they're her pimps and they're her abusers. She thinks they care about her but they don't. They came back into town a few weeks ago. She was gone a whole weekend and every weekend since then. They're nothing but trouble. They turned her out before they'll do it again. They will get her dependent on them. They almost got her put in jail. She took a plea and got off with community service and paying a fine while they ran away. She was selling their drugs and got caught. They left her high and dry. They're horrible people. They rape her, they beat her. They're not good people. She needs someone that loves her and cares about her to help her. She won't listen to me. I tried and she won't listen to me."

"She won't listen to me either," says Richard, "but she may listen to you because I know deep down underneath all this shit she does love you and she knows you love her. She needs you to stop being blind, step up and get her the help that she needs. She has been stealing from me and stealing from the register. She has taken over $1000 in cash, Dean. She needs help and she stole from mom," he says.

"She stole from you?" I ask my mom.

"Yes, Dean, she did. She took $50 from me. It was in my living room in the drawer. She took it."

"Damn," I say, "I'm sorry. I am really sorry you guys that she did this to you. I'm really sorry."

"It's okay," says my mom. "I want you to be happy but I don't think Azzy is that girl to make you happy."

"But she does," I say, "it's weird but she does make me happy. She's not a monster in my eyes. I see her heart. She made a mistake, a few mistakes like me but that doesn't make her a monster. She's capable of loving you and being loved. She needs help," I say, "and I will pay every one of you back what she has taken from you."

"I wanted to tell you," says Richard, "but I know how much you love her and I didn't want to see you get hurt but then yesterday you were talking about marrying her and proposing to her. I wanted you to know what you were getting into with her. She's not marriage material. I'm sure she's a good person when she's not using but when she's using she's putting herself and all of us at risk. She won't listen to Brooke or me," he says, "but she will probably listen to you."

"I didn't want to listen," I say, "I know it sounds bad but I didn't want anyone telling me I had a problem. I didn't want to see that I had a problem. I was getting high and I was enjoying it. I didn't want it to go away but eventually it took me hitting rock bottom to get the help that I needed."

"Then she has to hit rock bottom," says Richard, "but I don't want you to get hurt in the process. I know you love her, Dean. I have not seen you this happy in a long time but the more she uses and the deeper this goes the more you're going to get hurt. I don't want to see you get hurt and I don't want to see her drag you down with her. We aren't telling you this because we want you to be unhappy we're telling you this because your girlfriend needs help and you are the only that is going to be able to do that because she's going to listen to you. She doesn't listen to anyone else she is going to listen to you. I know you love her and I know she loves you. You two are happy together but if she keeps going on this path it's going to cost you a lot. It's going to cost you your job for one. Then it's going to cost you McKenna. You're working so hard to get back in her life after your own issues and now you go to see her in a week or two if the wrong person finds out about Azzy you could lose all that you worked for. You're a good guy, Dean. You're one of the best. I know you love Azzy but is she worth losing it all for? What if she costs you your sobriety? Would she be worth it?"

"She isn't going to cost me my sobriety," I say. "I would never let anyone cost me my sobriety."

"And someone may not but losing your job and losing your daughter again could cause you to use again. We are just looking out for you, Dean," says my mom. "I know that you love Azzy but you have to ask yourself is she worth all of it."

"She's worth getting her help so that one day we can have it all together," I say, "Damn it," I say.

"What?" asks Richard.

"Everything is so fucked up right now. I don't know how I could be so stupid and so blind to see that she was using again. I mean the money missing, her losing weight again, her moodiness. They are all there and I didn't want to see it. I'm so stupid."

"You're not stupid," says Richard. "You just didn't want to believe that someone you love was doing all the wrong things."

"And she had her birth control taken out a couple weeks ago," I say. "Fuck," I say. I want to hit something. I want to do something because besides being hurt I feel angry that I didn't see it before or didn't want to see it.

"What?" asks my mom, "why would you do that?"

"Because I am an idiot," I say, "I knew I wanted to marry her someday so I figured we would get her birth control out and let whatever happens happen. Hopefully nothing happens but still."

"That was stupid," says my mom.

"I know," I say. "I have a couple rehab centers that can help her get sober and help her with her heroin addiction," I say. "A couple of them are out of the state and the best one is in California. How did I not see this?' I ask beating myself up over it.

"Because you didn't want to see it," says Brooke, "no one wants to see the ones they love doing something that is hurting them. It's not because you were stupid. It's because you are in love with her. You wanted to trust her and see her as perfect. It's okay. Now you know and now you can talk to her and get her the help that she needs. Please, Dean, she's 18 years old. I don't want to see her lose her life over this addiction. I don't want to see Chris or Ty destroy her again. If she's going to listen to anyone," she says, "it's going to be you."

"I'm going to do my best," I say and I feel numb all over. It kills me knowing that Azzy is using again. It's devastating. She was doing so good and now she's back on the path of destruction. I know enough to know that people can overdose on heroin and die. That's the last thing I want to see happen to her at 18 years old. I may have told her she would lose me if I found out she was using again but she's not losing me. I'm still by her side and I will stay by her side making sure she gets all the help that she needs. She needs a lot of help.

When I get home Azzy isn't there and I have no idea where she is but she left her purse and everything at home which tells me she's coming back. I didn't even get as much as a phone call or a text from her. I sit in the living room with her purse in front of me. I'm arguing with myself about going through it. I go ahead and dump it out onto the coffee table. I almost lose it as the syringes and needles fall out onto the table along with the cocaine and heroin. I'm devastated. My heart feels like it broke into a million pieces. I don't know what to do the proof is right in front of me. She's using again and it kills me. I don't want to see her hurt or lose her life because of this deceitful drug. It's the last thing I want. I start to call places to see if they can take her so she can get the help that she needs. I call at least 5 places and 3 of them are full and aren't taking anyone but two of them one in California and one here in Cincinnati have beds available. As much as I want her to be in Cincinnati with me California has a really good facility. I would know. That's where I went to get sober. It helped me so much. I want it to do the same with Azzy.

I am powerless in this situation. I tell them I have someone that needs help and could use a bed because after lying to myself for the last couple months Azzy needs more than me and she needs more than some support group. She needs an actual rehab facility to stay in and get herself together. They can help her. As much as it pains me I choose the rehab facility in California. I can always visit her but this is where she needs to be to get the help that needs but the worst part of it all is the only way she can get help is if she realizes she has a problem and wants to get help. If she doesn't see that or doesn't realize it then I can't force her into rehab. It has to be a decision she makes on her own. It is the best thing for her but unless she knows she has a problem it's not going to help her.

Hours later Azzy walks into the house. I've been sitting on the couch for hours waiting for her to come home, worried about her. She walks in around midnight. My patience is very thin at the moment. "Dean," she says with surprise. "I thought you were leaving to go on the road today?"

"I took off," I say, "I decided that I would stay home," I say. "Where were you?"

"I was out," she says.

"Doing heroin or cocaine?" I ask.

"Um neither," she says, "I'm not using."

"Then what is all this?" I ask pointing to her stuff on the coffee table. "Explain that if you're not using."

"You went through my purse?" she asks.

"I had to. Richard, Brooke and my mom had a very interesting conversation with me today. When did you start using, Azzy?" I ask keeping my voice even. I don't want this to turn into a confrontation.

"I don't know," she says with embarrassment. "I'm sorry, Dean. I didn't want to but just seeing it and being around it," she says, "I had to try it. I thought I could do it once and be done but then I wanted more. I needed more. I'm sorry."

"Azzy," I say, "you need to get help."

"I'm fine, I don't need help," she says and her voice rises. It's going to be ugly I can tell.

"Azzy, yes you do," I say. "When did this start?"

"It doesn't matter," she says, "you're going to leave me now anyway."

"I'm not going anywhere. I want to see you get the help that you need."

"I don't need help," she says, "I don't have a problem."

"Look at you, Azzy, you're falling apart. You need help. You need to go to rehab not just some support group. You need more than I can give you. I found a place in California."

"California? So you're just going to ship me off somewhere because you think I have a problem. I don't have a problem," she says.

"You need to get help," I say.

"I don't need help," she says. "I don't need help. There is nothing wrong with me."

"You're high right now. You need help."

"I'm not high," she says. "If I wanted to get high I would have taken my purse with me. I was out trying to find another job."

"Azzy, you don't have to lie to me. I know you're high. I can see it in your eyes. You may not have done heroin but you've done something. Please, Azzy, don't fight this. You need help."

"What I need is for you to leave me alone. I don't need help. I'm fine."

"No, Azzy," I say standing up. "You're not. You need help. Let me help you," I say taking her into my arms. "Please," I say with a plea.

"Get off of me," she fights to break free from me. "I don't need help. Get off of me."

"You do, Azzy, you need to get help. Please. I love you. I love you a lot. I want to see you get the help that you need so you can be healthy and so that you and I can be together. If you're using we can't be together unless you get the help that you need. Azzy, please, I already talked to California. They have a bed for you. It's a really good facility."

"Dean, get off of me," she screams and I let go. "I don't need help," she yells. "I'm fine."

"But you're not fine, look at you. You're flipping out because I'm trying to help you."

"I don't need your help, Dean. I don't need help. I don't have a problem."

"Azzy, you're stealing from people and you're disappearing for hours and sometimes days at a time. You are using cocaine and heroin. You need help. You can't do that. You're going to lose your life."

"Maybe I deserve to die," she says and my heart falls to pieces. How could she say that? How could she think that?

"No you don't, Azzy," I say. "I would be devastated if you died. I love you."

"You're just like everyone else in my life," she says. "They all love me and then they leave me or turn their back on me. You're just like them. You're going to do the same thing to me. I don't deserve to be loved. I don't deserve to be happy."

"Azzy, if you think for one second I am going to turn my back on you, you're wrong. I love you. I want to see you get the help that you need so that you and me can have a life together but while all this using and secrets and lies are happening. I can't be with you unless you get the help that you need. I am trying to help you, Azzy, don't push me away please. I love you and I care about you. I want to see you do the right thing. Get some help."

"I don't want or need any help," she snaps. "I'm fine."

"You're not fine and like I said, if you won't get help then we can't be together as much as it devastates me to say that I can't risk everything because you don't want help. Please, Azzy let me help you."

"I don't need help!" she screams. "Look, I have to go," she says walking over to her purse. She throws everything inside of it.

"Where are you going?"

"You want me to leave so I'm leaving," she says.

"I didn't tell you to leave," I say because honestly I don't like the idea of her going out on the streets and being with Chris and Ty. I don't know what they could do to her. I don't want to see her hurt. "I don't want you to leave."

"You just said we can't be together. I'm leaving, Dean. You won't have to worry about me ever again," she says as she walks to the door. "I love you, Dean, me leaving you is the best. You deserve so much better than me. I love you," she says before she walks out the door. I try to stop her but she pushes me away. I watch as she makes her way down my driveway. My heart tearing to pieces, the tears burning my eyes, there's nothing I can do. I did everything I could but yet I can't do anything unless she lets me. I hate to see her leave but like Richard said she needs to hit rock bottom. I hate the idea but sometimes it takes that one hit to make you realize that you do have someone that loves you and cares about you and helps you realize you need help. I hate the fact she's gone but I tried. She's on her own and inside that kills me.

 ***A/N: What did you think of Richard, Brooke and Dean's mom sitting him down to talk about Azzy? DId he need that? Do you think he knew all along that she was using and just didn't want to admit it to himself? WHy do you think it was so hard for him to realize it or admit it? What are your thoughts on him wanting to marry Azzy and have a life with her? What about them not using birth control after they said they would? Was that a mistake on Dean's part? What did you think when Dean found Azzy's drugs and her syringes? Did it all become real for him? ARe you glad he wants to help her and not leave her? What did you think of Azzy flipping out was that expected? What do you think about her leaving? Please review and thank-you for reading.**


	17. The Turning Point

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. THey were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much!***

 **DEAN:**

It's been two weeks since Azzy walked out and I haven't heard from her. I have no idea where she is or any idea where she could be. I'm falling apart worrying about her. I don't want anything tragic to happen to her. I have been holding out hope that she'll call me or that she'll come back asking for the help that she needs. It's killing me not knowing where she is. Brooke hasn't heard from her and that's the only person I know that talks to her. I'm starting to get worried about her but I'm trying to stay positive and keep my mind off of that situation with Azzy because I'm in South Dakota getting ready to see my 11 year old daughter McKenna. It's been over 5 years since I last seen her. I'm nervous, excited and anxious at the same time. 5 years is a really long time to not be in someone's life. Even if I saw her for a brief second 5 years ago I still had an interaction with her. Things with seeing McKenna got pushed back a week or two because of last minute work commitments and she was sick the last week. I'm finally getting my chance to see her. I'm ready for this.

I arrive at a park in South Dakota that Cassie and I agreed to meet up at on this cool December day. There is definitely a chill in the air as I walk to a picnic table to take a seat while I wait for her. My breath visible in the air in the coolness as I take a seat at the table. I pull out my cell phone to check to see if I have any messages from Azzy or to see if she even called me but there's nothing. I look up and I see a woman walking toward me with a little girl about the age of 11 and another little girl that can't be older than the age of 7. I smile as I see Cassie getting closer. She hasn't changed a bit. She has the same long raven black hair that she had when we were together but falling to the middle of her back. She still has the amazing curves that I remember and the same beautiful face with her dark brown eyes; almost black and her beautiful full pink lips and her little button nose. She's as beautiful as I remember her. I stand up to greet them. "Cassie," I say with a smile.

"Dean," she says with a smile.

"Thank-you for doing this today," I say with a smile as my eyes go to the older girl with her. She's beautiful. She's breathtakingly beautiful. Tears fill my eyes as I look at my baby girl. She's almost as tall as her mother standing about 4'10 if I am correct. Her raven black curly hair is pulled up into a ponytail and she has the most beautiful dark brown eyes I have ever seen. Her mouth mirrors her mother's and her button nose is similar to hers. She's beautiful and so grown up.

"McKenna," says Cassie, "this is your dad, Dean. Dean, this is McKenna."

"Hi," I say with tears in my eyes.

"Hi," she says nervously in a low tone.

"How are you?" I ask with a smile.

"Good," she says, "how are you?"

"Happy to see you," I say with a smile, the tears start to fall from my eyes. I just have to hug her. I wrap my arms around her and hug her tightly. She's actually here. She's here in my arms and she wraps her arms around me hugging me back just as tightly. "I've waited so long for this," I say as we break our hug before we take a seat at the picnic table with Cassie and the other little girl. "Who is this?" I ask pointing to the little girl that sits next to McKenna.

"She's my little sister Kaya," she says with a smile. "She's 7," she says.

"Hi, Kaya," I say with a smile as she looks at me and gives me a small wave. She looks just like McKenna. I don't know how to start a conversation with her because I've never talked to an 11 year old girl before. I don't know what to say. I'm just letting it all sink in that I'm actually in South Dakota visiting my one and only daughter. I'm proud of how beautiful she is. "So how is school going?" I ask.

"I am home schooled," she says softly. "But it's going good."

"That's good," I say, "how are you doing with your studies?"

"Very good," she says with a smile.

Another round of silence surrounds us as we sit looking at each other. I can tell she's nervous too. "So," I say nervously. "It's pretty cold today."

"Yeah," she says with a nod.

"So what kind of activities do you like to do?"

"I like to dance," she says, "and play basketball. I like to make dream catchers too."

"Really?" I ask.

"Yes," she says with a smile. "I made you one if you want it."

"Sure," I say with a smile.

"Okay," she says before she mouths something to her mom. Cassie gets into her purse and hands her something wrapped up in tissue paper. "This is for you, Dad," she says handing it to me.

"Thank-you," I say with a smile before I unwrap the tissue paper to expose a beautiful dream catcher with feathers and beads. "You made this?"

"Yes," she says with a smile.

"It's beautiful."

"Thank-you," says. "It's to catch your bad dreams. You just hang it up in the doorway of your bedroom and it should catch your bad dreams."

"Thanks," I say with a smile. "I got you something too."

"Okay," she says with a sweet smile. I can't get over how beautiful she is.

"I hope that you like it. I wasn't sure what to get you because I didn't know what you liked but I hope you like it," I say as I hand her the gift I brought for her. She takes the bag from me and goes through it pulling out the markers, the crayons, the paper and the stamps that I bought for her as well as the bead kit to make bracelets with. "What do you think?"

"I like it," she says, "thank-you."

"You're welcome," I say with a smile.

"You're a wrestler?" she asks.

"Yeah," I say with a smile. "I am in the WWE."

"That's cool," she says before another round of silence falls between us. It's a very awkward meeting between us.

"So do you watch any television?"

"No," she says, "but I like to read."

"Oh really, what do you like to read?" I ask.

"I like reading books about Native Americans. I like to read about Greek mythology and I love fairytales," she says with a smile.

"Greek mythology huh? Who is your favorite God or Goddess from Greek mythology?"

"Well, I like Pandora and I like Athena. I also like Zeus."

"Very nice," I say. "I like to read about Greek Mythology too."

"That's cool," she says with a smile. "Who is your favorite?"

"Hades and Athena, I like Medusa too."

"Medusa is evil but she's misunderstood. Athena cursed her to be the way she is."

"I know," I say, "you're right. What else do you like to read?"

"I like to read mysteries and stuff like that. I like suspense stories."

"Me too," I say with a smile. "Do you listen to music at all?"

"Yes. I listen to pop music and I listen to country."

"I like country music," I say with a smile. "I like rock also."

"Cool," she says with a smile. "What's your favorite food?"

"My mom's spaghetti and meatballs," I say. "what about you?"

"I like sweet potato casserole," she says with a smile. "It's really good."

"It sounds good," I say with a smile. "Do you play any instruments?"

"I play the flute," she says.

"That's pretty cool," I say with a smile. "I'd love to hear you play sometime."

"Okay," she says.

After McKenna and I talk for a little bit I take her and Kaya to play on the playground at the park while Cassie watches us play. It's not as bad as I thought it would be with McKenna. She's a wonderful kid. I wish that we would talk more but I learned she has inherited my shyness so it's understandable. Cassie is doing a great job with her. She's doing a wonderful job. She's healthy and she's happy that's all I could have asked for. I leave McKenna and Kaya to play on the playground as I make my way back to the picnic table to watch them with Cassie. "Hey," I say as I take a seat next to her.

"Hey," she says. "You're good with the girls."

"I like kids," I say. "I'm sorry, Cassie that I wasn't a good dad to McKenna."

"Actually, I should be the one apologizing. I never really gave you a chance to be a father and that's my fault. I was just scared you were never going to get clean. You and I were pretty deep into the drugs," she says, "it took me forever to get clean but I wasn't sure if you could kick your habit permanently."

"I'm 10 years sober," I say.

"Congratulations," she says with a smile. "I'm proud of you."

"Thanks," I say. "I should have been a better father. I should have been a better husband."

"Again, I never gave you the chance to prove it to me. I was scared so I ran. I shouldn't have run."

"It's fine," I say. "I probably deserved for you to leave me. I was really bad into drugs. I couldn't even stop long enough to take care of our daughter. I deserved what I got. I just wish I could have seen her before she turned 11."

"I know and I'm sorry," she says, "I should have given you the chance to be her dad but I want you to be there for her now. I want you to be in her life. She has been asking about you for a couple years now."

"I thought she had a stand in dad?"

"I left him," she says, "we split up a couple years ago. Things just weren't working out between us so I left him. He wasn't a bad guy it's just we weren't working out."

"I understand. I know how that is. I've been there. So you're single?"

"It's just McKenna, Kaya and me," she says. "I prefer it that way sometimes."

"I hear you," I say, "sometimes it's better to be alone than give someone your heart to be destroyed."

"That was deep," she says, "something going on that you want to talk about?"

"No," I say, "it's nothing."

"All right," she says, "you made out pretty good for yourself huh? This big time wrestler guy."

"Yeah," I say with a smile. "I guess you can say that. Wrestling became my outlet. It's what helped me stay sober for so long. I also run a support group for recovering addicts. It's one of my favorite accomplishments. I like to help people that have gone through what we went through."

"Those were some crazy days," she says, "we spent more days being high than anything. It was a crazy life."

"Yeah it was," I say agreeing with her. "I can't even believe the shit we used to do."

"Me either," she says. "The only good thing that came out of us was McKenna."

"I agree," I say. "she seems happy."

"She's very happy," she says. "But she needs her dad in her life. I want her to have a relationship with you, Dean. I want you to be a part of her life. She needs that."

"I want that too," I say. "I want to be a part of her life. I have for a while now. I've just been scared you know."

"I know," she says. "but I guess me pushing you away didn't help."

"Not really," I say, "but today is a new beginning and we can go forward from here."

"Yeah," she says, "I was thinking about moving back to Cincinnati."

"You should," I say. "That way you and McKenna are closer to me. I would really like that."

"I want to be back near my parents," she says, "I like South Dakota but I miss home."

"Then move back to Cincinnati," I say, "it's still the same as you left it."

"I bet," she says with a smile. "Are you seeing anyone?"

"I don't know," I say, "I'm not sure at the moment. Things got complicated with the girl I was living with and dating. I'm not sure if we're over or not. What about you?"

"Nope, single," she says. "Haven't really found anyone that I want to be with; not many choices here in South Dakota. What are the jobs like in Cincinnati? I'm a nurse. I got my degree and everything."

"That's awesome," I say with a smile. "I'm sure there are a few job openings in Cincinnati for nurses."

"I'm going to look into it. I'm pretty sure about moving back to Cincinnati."

"I hope so," I say with a smile. "Did you ever think we would be where we are now after everything we went through?"

"Not at all we were just two kids trying to get their fix and having sex. We were stupid."

"Yeah we were but we turned out all right," I say with a smile. "I'm in a good place now. I have a great job, I have a nice house and I'm sober. I couldn't be happier."

"Same here," she says, "I'm in a much better place I have two kids that I love very much, I have a good job and I have a decent house that I live in but I would much rather live in Cincinnati. I don't know how Kaya's dad will feel about it though."

"He probably won't like it," I say.

"I know but I've been away from my family for 10 years, Dean. I want to see them again. I just want to go back home."

"Then do what you want to do," I say, "I won't be upset if you choose to stay here."

"Yeah, I don't think that's happening," she says with a smile as she looks at me with her beautiful dark brown eyes. "I told you I want to get out of here. I'm coming home," she says with a smile as I smile back at her. Her dark eyes meeting my blue eyes as we stare at each other in silence, I can feel the attraction between us. It's like it was when we were teenagers. The same magnetic attraction that brought us together is there once again.

"I think I would like that a lot," I say with a soft smile as I lean in closer and press my lips softly against hers. She doesn't pull away and as I take my tongue over her lips she parts them granting me access to her mouth. She brings her hands to cup my face as I kiss her softly, my tongue twisting with hers. The passion and sweetness of our kiss makes me kiss her deeper as I cup her face with my hands as I continue kissing her deeply.

We pull away breathless and she says, "I think I would like to do that again," she says. "Can we pick up where we left off?" she asks.

"Cass," I say, "I'm not sure that's a good idea. It's complicated."

"Okay," she says. "I get it you're in love with someone else."

"I am," I say, "but the feelings I had for you just came back to me and hit me like a ton of bricks."

"Same here," she says with a soft smile making me smile and for the first time in a couple weeks I'm not thinking about Azzy or worrying about her.

 **AZZY's POINT OF VIEW:**

I nervously pace back and forth in the bathroom as I wait for the results of my pregnancy test to come back. I'm not sure I'm ready to have a kid if I am pregnant. I really screwed up with Dean. I love him. I really love him but I screwed up with him. I should have taken the help that he offered me but I didn't. I don't even know why. The last couple weeks have been nothing but hell for me. I've tried not to use but I find myself using again. I hate it. As much as I try to kick it I can't. Ty and Chris don't let me stay sober for long. They are back to pumping me with drugs and forcing me to do things I don't want to do. Why I gave up a good life with Dean to be in this hell hole I'll never understand. I need to do better. I know I can do better it's just I need to push myself to do better. I let out a deep breath as I pick up the pregnancy test. _PREGNANT_ is clear on the screen. I fall to my knees and break down crying. I don't' have the emotional strength to have another pregnancy. I'm scared that at this point I have already screwed up the baby with my drug use. I can't do that again. I don't want to go through that again.

Once I get myself together I throw the test into my purse and walk out of the bathroom. I make my way to the living room where Chris and Ty are smoking a blunt. "Hey, Girl," says Ty. "Come here."

"I want to go now," I say.

"Go where?" asks Chris. "Where do you think you're going to go?"

"I'm going to get help," I say. "I need to get help."

"You don't need help," says Ty. "Sit down," he demands.

"No," I say, "I want to get help."

"For what?" asks Chris. "This is where you belong. This is your life. This the life you wanted, remember? This is your life, Baby Doll. Get yourself together. We have some clients coming over, and shoot up. We need you willing and ready," he says.

"No," I say, "I'm not doing it. I'm going to leave."

Ty stands up. "You're not going anywhere. Chris just told you we have some clients coming over now get ready, shoot up, Baby Doll."

"No," I say before he hits me across the face.

"You don't tell me no. Where do you think you're going to go? Your boyfriend don't want you. He don't love you. This is what you got," he says. "Nobody wants you."

"That's not true," I say. "I want to leave."

"You ain't leaving," says Chris. "Get yourself together there's about to be a party in here and you're the life of the party. Get into something sexier and shoot up. Willing and ready, Azzy," he says, "and then we're going to take a little trip to your boyfriend's house. You're going to put the code in and we're going to go shopping," he says with a laugh.

"No I'm not. I'm not helping you rob Dean's house. You're not robbing him and I'm leaving," I say as I try to walk away before Ty grabs me.

"Sit down," he says throwing me to the floor hard. "Azzy, why do you have to fight this? You've been too busy fighting us the last couple weeks. What the fuck is wrong with you?" he asks as Chris gets a syringe ready. "You chose this life, Azzy. You're going to do what we say. You work for us."

"I don't work for anyone," I say.

"Shut up," says Ty before he hits me across the face again as Chris hands him the syringe. "Come on, Azzy," he says taking my arm. "Let's get you ready to party."

"No," I say trying to pull my arm away but he won't let me. He forces the needle into my arm and shoots the heroin into my system as I cry and try to fight it. The more I fight the more aggressive Ty becomes, hitting me and slapping me across the face. He pulls the needle out and starts to undo his pants to teach me a lesson in fighting them. It's like it used to be. Chris starts to undo his pants before they take turns raping me, destroying me and breaking me. I cry the whole time feeling worthless and dirty. If I scream it's harder and it's worse. I stop fighting and just take the punishment through my tears and agony. I just want to get out. I need to get out.

I lay on the floor naked and vulnerable as I watch Chris and Ty smoke another blunt. I stand up and start to dress myself before I try to make a run for it. As soon as I have my hand on the front door Ty grabs me and pulls me back throwing me to the floor hard. He starts yelling and cussing at me calling me a bitch and a whore telling me I'm not leaving and I'm stuck here. He tells me he'll take care of me and I'll take care of them. He starts to kick me while I'm down, kicking me in my ribs, my stomach. I cry out in pain. Chris tries to stop him but Ty is relentless with his assault. He picks me up only to punch me in the face a couple times before throwing me back down to the ground where he continues his assault. Kick after kick and cry after cry he doesn't stop. Tears blurring my vision as his boot meets my face hard, I cry out hard before he kicks me again. Chris starts to join in with Ty's assault and I have no way out. I can't get out. Their assault continues and the last thing I remember is one more kick to the face before the room goes black.

 ***A/N: What did you think of Dean meeting with McKenna? Do you think their meeting went well? Do you think McKenna liked her dad? What did you think about Cassie and Dean reconnecting? Is there chemistry there? Does Dean still have feelings for Cassie? Do you think his feelings for Azzy are holding him back from pursuing Cassie again? What do you think about Cassie moving back to Cincinnati is that a good idea? What did you think of Azzy leaving Dean to go back with Chris and Ty? What do you think of her being pregnant? Do you think her pregnancy is what pushed her to stand up to Ty and Chris? What did you think of her getting beat up by the two? Please review and thank-you fo reading.**


	18. Don't Give Up On Me

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much***

 *** I do want to address one thing. I got a couple reviews saying that my stories are all the same and that the female character always gets pregnant. Yes my female characters usually do end up pregnant in my fics however my storylines are all completely different. This one is one of my most different works I have done. I colored outside the lines with this one and I have gone way out of my comfort zone with this. If you look into one aspect of my fics you miss the point of the entire story. This isn't a love story. It has never really been a love story. It is about a woman with an addiction and a man that is addicted to her. It's not flowers and cards or candy it's real life stuff that happens every day. I thought about pulling this but I'm not going to. I'm proud of myself for going out of my comfort zone and coloring outside the lines. Sobriety is not a love story. It is about being hurt from an addiction and finding that person to comfort you. Azzy is not like any of my OC's and I take great joy in the fact that she's different just like this story. She ended up pregnant yes but this fic is far different than my others.**

 _Izzy is in the hospital. She got beat up by Ty and Chris and some of their friends. She's in pretty bad shape_. The words of Brooke's message left on my voicemail play in my mind over and over again as I make my way to the hospital in Cincinnati. I got the message last night after I got done hanging out with McKenna and Cassie during the day. I had my phone off shortly after McKenna got there and never turned it back on until I got back to my hotel. As soon as I got the message I did what I needed to do. I got on a flight in one of the worst sections ever and made my way to Cincinnati. I haven't showered or slept since I heard the news about Azzy. I pull into the hospital parking lot and get out of the car. I run inside of the building and to the reception area. "I'm here about Azalea Thomas," I say as I catch my breath.

"Are you family?"

"I'm her boyfriend," I say. "Is she okay?"

"I can't give you that information unless you're family, Sir," she says.

"She doesn't have family. I'm the closest thing she has to a family," I say, "I'm her boyfriend please. I need to see her."

"The only people allowed into see her are her family. Her family requested it that way," she says confusing me.

"Family?" I ask.

"Yes," she says pointing to two people sitting in the waiting room. "Those are her parents, they have requested no one see her or be permitted into her room."

"Okay," I say confused. I didn't know her parents were involved apparently I was wrong. "Thank-you," I say as I walk away from the desk and make my way over to her mom and dad. Her mom looks upset as she sits on the chair and Azzy's dad I assume is rubbing her back. "Um excuse me," I say as her mom and dad look up at me. "Can you tell me how Azzy is doing?" I ask.

"And you would be?" asks her father.

"I'm Dean," I say, "I'm Azzy's boyfriend. I was in South Dakota visiting my daughter and I got the call that Azzy had been hurt is there anything you can tell me?"

"I never knew Azzy had a boyfriend," says her mom. "I am Vivian and this is my husband John," she says.

"Nice to meet you," I say. "I wish it was under different circumstances."

"Me too," says John. "How long have you been dating my daughter?"

"About 3 months now," I say. "Is she okay?"

"She was beaten up by two guys she won't give any names. She just said she was beat up pretty badly. She has three broken ribs and has a broken eye socket. She endured a little head trauma from being thrown to the floor and she has a broken elbow," he says, "how long has she been doing heroin?"

"I don't know a month or so now maybe two. I just found out a couple weeks ago. She left me when I found out."

"So you're not really her boyfriend?"

"I would like to be again but I don't think we ever really broke up. Is she going to be okay?"

"There was some sexual trauma as well," says her mom making me cringe at the thought of anyone else being intimate with Azzy but sexual trauma means she was raped. "They did an STD test on her to make sure she's clean and oddly enough after everything she endured the baby survived," she says and my heart stops.

"Baby?" I ask.

"Yes, baby," she says, "Azzy's pregnant."

"What? I had no idea."

"Well, she is but as soon as we get her back to Tennessee we're going to take care of that."

"I'm sorry but what do you mean take care of that?"

"She's getting an abortion as soon as we get her back to Tennessee, she can barely take care of herself let alone a child," she says.

"I'm pretty sure that's my baby," I say and even if it isn't I don't want to know. I'm going to be a father regardless. "I think I get a say."

"Dean," says her dad, "do you think Azzy is mentally capable of raising a child? I mean look at her she's a junkie. She messed up her entire life. She had so much heroin in her system that the doctor was surprised she didn't overdose. Even if she does keep this baby it's bound to be addicted and have problems."

"Problems or no problems that is my child and I want to be its father. Azzy is not getting an abortion," I say. "And she's not going back to Tennessee."

"She is our daughter our mentally ill daughter," says her mom. "She needs to come home with us. She is in a lot of trouble and she needs help. Why didn't you help her?"

"I tried to help her but she walked out on me. You can't help someone unless they're willing to get help. You can't force her to do this."

"She needs a responsible adult in her life," she says.

"And I am a responsible adult," I say. "She is not going to Tennessee. I'm going to take care of her till she heals and then I'm going to get her into rehab."

"Dean," says her father, "this is our daughter let us handle it the way that we want to handle it. Azzy will have an abortion and we will get her the help that she needs."

"You should have helped her a long time ago before you put her out on the streets," I say. "She was in trouble way before she got hooked on heroin and your solution was to kick her out where she lived on the streets, where she got hooked on heroin in the first place and now you want to help her. It's a little late for you to help her isn't it? She doesn't trust you," I say. "She probably doesn't even want to see you which I'm guessing she doesn't because you're not in there with her."

"She did kick us out after we told her she was coming back to Tennessee and that she was going to abort this baby. There is no need to bring a baby with possible issues into this world and allow Azzy to continue living her life the way she is."

"Problems or no problems that baby is my child and whatever is wrong with it we will handle together. She is not having an abortion. I don't care if I have to raise that baby myself but she is not getting an abortion and she is not going to Tennessee she is staying with me. I will get her the help that she needs," I say as a nurse comes to the waiting room John and Vivian stand up.

"Mr. Ambrose," says the nurse as she looks at me. "Azalea is asking for you."

"I can see her?"

"She wants to see you," she says looking at her parents.

"We said no one goes in to see her," says her parents.

"Azalea is 18 years old. She is an adult it is her decision. She has actually asked that we remove you from the hospital."

"That's not how it should be," says Vivian, "that's our daughter."

"As far as Azalea is concerned," says the nurse, "you are not her parents and she would like for you to be removed from the hospital. You can leave peacefully or security can remove you," she says.

"We'll go peacefully," says John. "But this isn't over. That's our daughter and we will get her the help she needs."

"And where were you the last 3 years of her life?" I ask. "You didn't care about her then and you don't care about her now. Just do yourselves a favor and leave now," I say before the nurse escorts me back to Azzy's room. I walk into the room and see my poor beautiful flower beaten and broken. I barely even recognize her she's been through it. Her face is swollen, one of her beautiful hazel eyes is covered with tape, her lips swollen and her other eye puffy. Her curly hair pulled up into a messy bun. She sits with her elbow in a cast and in a sling. I walk over to her and hug her softly and kiss the top of her head. "Azzy," I say trying not to let my emotions get the best of me. "How are you?"

"Not good," she says as she looks up at me with her beautiful hazel eye.

"What happened?"

"I tried to get out," she says, "I wanted to get out but they didn't let me. They did this to me because I wanted to leave," she says and instantly I feel rage for the men that did this to Azzy. She is a little girl that is no more than 110 pounds when wet and to have two guys do this to her is not necessary. My heart is broken looking at her. "I need help, Dean," she says. "Can you get me help?"

"Yes," I say. "I'll help you. I'll get you help," I say with a soft smile as I hug her again. I just want to hold her. I need to hold her.

"I'm sorry that I ruined your trip with McKenna. Did it go well?"

"It's okay," I say, "her mom is moving to Cincinnati," I say, "and it went very well."

"I'm glad," she says. "I'm sorry that I left you the way I did. I was stupid. You know how hard it is when you're addicted to drugs. You just need that fix. I made a mistake," she says, "but please don't give up on me, Dean. I need you. I want you to help me. Can you look into those rehab places?"

"Yes," I say. "I'm not giving up on you, Azzy, I'm going to be right here. I'm going to be here all the way. I'm not going anywhere."

"Thanks," she says. "I love you."

"I love you too," I say with a smile. "So a baby huh?"

"Yeah," she says nervously. "We're having a baby."

"Are you sure it's mine?" I ask.

"Pretty sure but not 100 % sure," she says. "Do you hate me?"

"No," I say, "whether that baby is mine or not I'm going to be its father. I'm not going to let you do it alone. And whatever happens with it we'll handle it together. That's my baby as far as I am concerned."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm very sure," I say with a smile. "That's my baby. When did you find out?"

"Just yesterday before everything happened," she says, "I was so scared I was going to lose it. The doctor said I was lucky and everything looks good with it. I'm about 6 weeks," she says. "The doctor said I am due August 25th," she says. "He said everything looks okay. I'm scared, Dean. I have gone through this before. What if my drugs messed up its brain or what if it doesn't have a brain? I'm going to be devastated. I want to be a mom but I know I'm not ready but I can't live with myself if I ruined the baby."

"We'll talk about the baby another time, " I say, "right now don't get yourself worked up over it. We'll figure it all out. I'm just glad you're getting help."

"Me too," she says with a smile. "I need it. I want to be a mom but until I get that help I can't be a mom. Thank-you, Dean. My parents want me to have an abortion and want to take me back to Tennessee."

"You're not getting an abortion and you're not going back to Tennessee," I say, "your mom and dad and I had a talk. I have rights to that child it's not going anywhere."

"Okay," she says, "I don't want to go with them."

"I know and you don't have to," I say, "you're coming home with me."

"For a little bit right? Till I get my help?"

"Yes," I say with a smile, "just for a little bit till you go to get help."

"Okay," she says with a smile. "Chris and Ty are going to rob you," she says. " At least that's what they were planning on doing."

"Let them," I say, "if there's something in there that they want they can have it. I'm worried about you. They can take the whole damn house. If they want to rob me then they can rob me. The most valuable thing is with me right now," I say with a smile. She smiles at me before I kiss her lips softly. "I'm going to take care of you."

"Thanks," she says with a smile. "But I'm sure after this they are long gone. They aren't stupid."

"I'm sure they are too. Are you pressing charges?"

"No," she says, "it's not worth it. I want to see them pay but it's not worth all the hell that can come from it."

"All right," I say, "it's up to you. Whatever you want to do I'm here to support you."

"Thanks," she says with a smile.

 **TWO DAYS LATER:**

Azzy was dismissed from the hospital yesterday and she's been having a really tough time adjusting. She is going through really bad withdraw and it is painful to watch. She is struggling not getting her fix so she ended up spending most of the day eating little meals and sleeping. She said she feels that if she sleeps the need isn't so bad. It's been tough to watch. She's miserable and she's needing and wanting that fix. She's angry and she's sad. She's a mess but I'm proud of her for resisting the urges to use again. I walk into the bedroom where she's laying in our bed writing keeping her mind off of the withdraw pain she's feeling. "I made you some soup if you're hungry," I say.

"Thanks," she says with a soft smile as she closes up her journal. "You know writing really does help me with all of this."

"I bet," I say, "when I went through withdraw it was the hardest time of my recovery but the first few days are the worst. It will get better."

"I hope so," she says, "I've been here before but this time I want to go the whole way. I want to be sober like you for 10 years."

"I'd like to see that too," I say, "and besides being pregnant you shouldn't be using anyway."

"I know," she says. "And I'm trying hard not to."

"I know," I say, "so about this baby are we keeping it or what do you want to do?"

"I'm not sure. I want to keep it. I don't want to give it up but I am scared to be a parent. I barely have my life together how am I going to raise a kid. Going off birth control was a bad choice but here we are. I'm scared. I don't know what to do."

"I want to keep it," I say, "but if you don't feel in your heart you want to keep the baby we can always give it away."

"Dean, I can't ask you to do that. I know how much you want to be a father. I can't ask you to give the baby away."

"Azzy," I say, "this is about you and how you feel. If you feel like you can't handle the responsibility of being a mom we can put the baby up for adoption. I will support that decision. This doesn't mean this is the last baby we'll have. I love you, Azzy. I want you to get well and I want you to become better and I'll be right here waiting for you. I promise. I'm not going anywhere. I want this life I have envisioned with you. I want the kids, I want the house, I want the life with you but we can never have that unless you fix yourself first. The choice is yours if you want to put the baby up for adoption we can do that but if not I'm here to support you. You won't be doing it alone."

"Dean, I want to keep the baby," she says.

"Okay," I say with a soft smile. "We'll work this out, I promise," I say.

"I want to work it out. I want that life too that you envision. You're the only person that took the time to care about me and I pushed you away when you tried to help me because I'm selfish and I'm dumb."

"You are not dumb, Azzy, you're getting the help that you need in fact I was on the phone with that rehab center in California. They have a bed available for you. You're going to California it's a really good place. I went there and it helped me a lot. You get counseling services, there's a group that you will meet with every day and it doesn't feel like one of those rehab centers where you feel like you're imprisoned. You get to go outside and enjoy the nice weather. You get to join activities to help yourself. You can get your GED through them and you can look into college courses the only issue is it is a 6 month rehab facility. You have to complete the full 6 months at least it's 6 months for a heroin addiction. They can get you to doctor appointments and they can help you with your pregnancy. Then the choice is yours after you've completed the rehab you can either stay in California and go to a halfway house where they will get you a job and help you get back on your feet or you can come back here with me and I can help you get another job and help you get on your feet again and shortly after you get out you'll be having the baby. It's your choice but I think you're going to like it there. I know 6 months is a long time but it's what you need to get better. You'll get all the help that you need. I hate the idea of you being away for 6 months but I know you're doing the right thing. So are you still willing to go to get help?"

"Yes," she says, "I need help, Dean. I don't care if it's 6 months or a year, I'm going to do this. I want to come back home after it's done. I want to have my life with you," she says, "so please don't give up on me."

"I'm not," I say as I wrap my arm around her shoulder. "I promise and I'm going to visit you as much as I can while you're there. I'm going to write you letters and I'm just going to be there for you. I'm not going anywhere trust me. If I haven't given up on you now, I'm never going to give up on you."

"I love you, Dean," she says with a smile. "You're the best person I have ever met. Thank-you for everything you've done for me and thank-you for getting me into this rehab place. I need it."

"I'm doing it because I love you and I care about you. You're only 18, Azzy, there's so much more to life than doing drugs and being high all the time. I want you to experience life and have dreams. I want to see you work for those dreams and I want to see you become the best person you can be. I'm here for you always, Baby."

"That means so much," she says with tears in her eyes. "You're going to be a great dad to our baby."

"I hope so," I say, "and I'm sure once all this is over you're going to be a great mom to our baby. I have a lot of hope in you. I know that you can do this. It's going to be tough but when it's over and you're sober you're going to be so proud of yourself you'll know that it was all worth it. I was like you too. I was scared but after all my time in rehab it was the best thing I could have done. I love you, Azzy."

"I love you too," she says with a smile before I kiss her lips softly. "I'm clean by the way."

"I know," I say. "That's a good thing."

"They have to do another HIV test in 6 months but for now I'm clean and I hope to stay that way. I don't know what I was thinking."

"In those moments you don't think. You just want to get your high and you do it no matter what. It's good that you are clean and that you're healthy but I want to see you healthier. I love you." I give her a soft kiss on the lips before I say, "now eat. I think that baby of ours is hungry."

"Yeah," she says with a smile before she starts to eat. I want to see her do better. I want to see her get back up on her feet and I want to see her be sober. It's a long road to recovery but she's taking that first step by admitting she needs help.

 ***A/N: What did you think of Azzy's parents showing up when she was in the hospital? Did they have any right to try to make the decisions they were making? Was Azzy right for kicking them out of the hospital? What did you think about when Dean saw her for the first time after the incident? Did he hold it together well? What did you think of Azzy asking him for help? Are you happy she finally admitted that she needs help? What do you think of Dean stepping up to raise the baby whether it's his baby or not? What do you think of Azzy deciding to keep the baby? Is she making the right decision? What do you think of her going to rehab for 6 months? Is this what she needs to be sober? Do you think they will ever have the life they envisioned together? Please review and thank-you for taking the time to read. You guys are awesome. Thank-you so much. There is one more chapter left before I go ahead and do a sequel. Thank-you so much.**


	19. Sobriety

***Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much***

 ***Here is the final chapter of Sobriety. I decided to do this a little differently as you can tell they are Azzy's journal entries through her time in rehab. I hope that you like it. Enjoy***

 _ **January 10, 2015**_

 _It's been two weeks since I checked into rehab. I don't really have a feel of the place just yet but it seems like a pretty good place. Dean flew me out here a couple weeks ago and talked with me about my rehab process. He told me it's not going to be easy but he knows that I can do this. I'm sure that I can do it as long as I know he's back in Ohio believing in me. I never really had anyone to believe in me until I met Dean. He didn't have to do all this but he did because he loves me and he cares about me. It feels good to be loved and cared for. It makes me feel good. I miss him already. The withdraw process isn't what I expected it to be. When I got to the rehab center they told me that quitting cold turkey isn't good for the baby so they put me on Methadone to reduce my dependency on heroin and to keep the baby safe from a possible death if I were to quit cold turkey. I'm grateful. Methadone helps with my urges and my need for heroin but I still want the real stuff. It was hell the first few days. I had the chills, the pain and I was shivering. It physically hurt me not to shoot up but I fought the urges the best that I could. If it weren't for Dean I don't think I would have been able to do this. I'm still getting settled in and meeting people. I have one roommate but we don't talk much. I have been set up with an OB/GYN to get checked out during my pregnancy and have my first appointment with him in a couple weeks. I have my first meeting with a counselor in a couple days to talk about my problems. I have so many it could take years to dive into all the fucked up madness in my head. Other than being addicted to drugs I'm pretty sure I am a bit bipolar, I have low self-esteem and I am dependent. I never had the chance to grow up. Mentally I'm stuck at 15. It sucks. I'm just one fucked up mess so whoever this counselor is he has a lot of work to do to help me out. That's all that I can really say for now. Until next time. ~ Azzy~_

 _ **February 14, 2015**_

 _I've been in this facility for over a month now. It's not as bad as I thought it would be. I like it here. It's starting to help me little by little. I'm still on Methadone but I'm getting better. I had my first appointment with the OB yesterday. I got to see mine and Dean's little bean. It is so little. I am 11 weeks pregnant. It was a beautiful sight to see on the screen and the best part was its little heartbeat. I wish Dean could have been here to hear its heartbeat but he's not. I always thought when I had a baby it would be under different circumstances. I would know who my baby's father was and I wouldn't be addicted to heroin and there wouldn't be a possibility that my baby would be addicted also. I always dreamed of having a husband while I was pregnant to come to the appointments with me. I sit in the waiting room of my OB and see these happy couples sitting waiting to be seen and I'm sitting by myself with someone that works at the rehab facility to provide me transportation. This isn't how it's supposed to be but right now that's exactly how it's supposed to be. I want that life with a husband and a kid maybe a few but I have to get myself better before I even think about marriage. The baby looks good and it seems healthy but the OB did warn me that it could be born addicted to heroin which could cause some problems when it's born but we will face that when the time comes. I'm doing this so I can be a mom. This is all about the baby. Anyway today is Valentine's Day and Dean sent me a bouquet of red roses that I displayed in my room. I'm looking at them right now. He promised me in a month he will be here to visit me. I can't wait to see him. I miss him so much. He has written me letters and I have written him letters but he's in the busiest time of his career right now with Wrestlemania being around the corner. He has a lot of appearances and shows happening. I have an amazing counselor. I wasn't sure how I would feel about him at first but Mike is pretty cool. He is awesome. I like talking to him and getting out how I feel. We are just getting started addressing my childhood and how horrible it was with my parents. He believes that is where it all began. He believes that I feel that I will never live up to the expectations of my parents and that causes me to feel like a failure which is why I'm so down on myself when it comes to everything. I have also started taking classes to get my GED. I really want to get that so I can go to college to take up drug and alcohol counseling. That's what I want to do with my life after the hell I have been through with my addiction I want to help others and tell them my story so they know they can get better. I just have to get there first. My therapist put me on some meds for my bipolar and depression problems. It makes me happier. I can finally look at life and realize that it is worth living and I have people that love me and care about me, people that need me. I don't get so angry anymore either and my emotions remain steady and not all over the place. It feels so good. My roommate here is awesome her name is Jamie. She is here because of her cocaine addiction. She has a similar background to mine except she ran away from home when she was 16 to be with her 30 year old boyfriend/pimp/drug dealer. She was turned out to the streets like I was. We have some horrible stories. She's from Los Angeles though. We talk about our experiences a lot. It is good to see I'm not alone. I think she's all right. She's the same age as me and she just wants to get help so she can get her baby back. She lost her when she was born addicted. She went into a tailspin and went into a crazy drug binge after she lost her. Now she's trying to get herself clean to get her back. She said this is her 3_ _rd_ _time in a rehab center in a year to kick her habit. I hope it doesn't take me three times but you never know. I will do it as many times as I need to, to get my life together. Until Next time. ~Azzy~_

 _ **March 21, 2015**_

 _Dean came to visit me today! It was the best day ever! I was so happy to see him. I really missed him. We just did some talking about our little bean today and how things are going with my pregnancy. He was telling me about his job and what all there is coming for him as far as Wrestlemania goes. I told him all about my progress and how much better I am doing. I told him about my GED classes. He told me he was proud of me and encouraged me that I'm going to do this. It's been over 3 months and I am doing so well. I'm proud of myself. I continue on with the Methadone but my dosage has been dropped a little bit as my dependency for heroin is decreasing. My GED classes are going great. I have been spending a lot of time studying and I'm doing very well. I'm pretty much passing everything. I'm getting myself prepared to take the test to get my GED once that's complete then we'll focus on college and where I'm going to go to college and what I'm doing. It's one step at a time but I'm slowly getting there. I started feeling little Bean moving today. It is a pretty active baby. I never felt anything like it in my life. I go to find out the sex in a couple weeks. I'm hoping for a boy just because I can't see myself raising a little girl. I imagine she would be a handful like me. Everything with my therapist/counselor is going well. We have moved on from my childhood onto my teenage years and my self-destructive choices. We are getting into the root of my drug problems and the unnecessary sex addiction I have apparently. I told you I am a fucked up mess. I can't really say much more about it. He's helping me and I like it. I have started going to a group therapy session to help with my social skills because apparently I am not developed socially and I don't know how to behave socially which is very true. It's sort of like my group back in Cincinnati we talk about us and our addictions and ways to cope. Lately my coping mechanisms have been writing and knitting. I love to knit. I have knitted the Bean a couple blankets. Talking helps too. I have never been so open in my life as I am now. They make you feel wanted here and make you feel like you belong. I am starting to make friends throughout the facility. I am happy I'm not alone in this. We all have our problems. We have our addictions but we are all here for the same reason to get the help that we need so that we can get back on our feet. Step by step I am getting there. The road is long and the pain from my addiction still burns me but I am holding strong. There are times I feel like quitting and giving up just so I can get that fix but I can't do that. I have to keep going not for me but for my baby. It deserves the best that I can give it. ~Azzy~_

 _ **April 7, 2015**_

 _I just got back from my OB appointment. The doctor did an ultrasound on the little Bean. It grew so much since the last time I saw it on the screen. It looks like a person now. A cute little person, I am in love with it. It is the most precious thing I have ever seen. It's adorable. I can't wait to meet my little creation in a few weeks. The doctor was able to determine the sex of the baby and it's a boy! Dean and I are having a baby boy! I can't wait to tell Dean the news when I call him later. It's a boy but the only thing concerning the doctor is the baby isn't growing like it should so he has me going to see him more often to keep an eye on the baby. I'm putting this in God's hands so my little boy is okay. I'm scared that something is going to happen but the doctor assured me it happens sometimes but that doesn't really make me feel better. My baby is measuring 2 weeks behind. I don't think that's good. I may not be a doctor and I may not be the smartest person in the world but I do know that's not a good thing. My belly is growing but the baby is behind schedule. It's funny I never really believed in God until recently. I started to go to church with a couple of the girls here a few weeks ago. I like it. It makes me see things, it helps me want to better myself. Being here has been a blessing. Meeting Dean has been a blessing. If it weren't for him I wouldn't be where I am right now. Other than church I'm starting to get involved in some stuff around here to help keep my mind off of missing Dean and to keep busy other than knitting I have rediscovered my interest in music. I'm taking piano lessons as another coping mechanism. I played the piano when I was little and stopped because I wasn't good enough at it but I did always love playing. I wanted to find that love again and I have. I'm starting to write a book about my experiences on the streets and about my struggles with heroin. I want to share my story. I want people to hear and know my story. Life is getting better day by day and I'm getting happier with myself. Mike and I have decided that I focus too much on the negatives of my life and my flaws that he has me focusing on the positives of my life and my strengths. He wants me to embrace myself as I am and not to be someone I'm not. He wants me to be strong in my strengths and not weak in my flaws. He wants me to see the good in myself and not the bad. He's a pretty cool guy. He makes me think and I like that. He makes me see things that I never saw before. After beating myself up for 3 years because of the things I couldn't do I was forgetting about the things that I could do which also played a part in my decision to turn to drugs and feel the need to be dependent on people. It's been a pretty good time here it's not all roses because there are some thorns but I handle it well. ~Azzy~_

 _ **May 4, 2015**_

 _FUTURE! That's the word in my head today. I'm almost done with my rehab. I only have a couple months left here and it's time to start setting goals for my life outside of rehab and what I want to do with my life. In group today we talked about futures and where we would like to see ourselves in 5 years. I don't know where I want to be in 5 years. I hope I'm with my son in 5 years and that I'm done with college in 5 years but we'll see. It's hard to think about the future when I'm so worried about my present. We said goodbye to our pasts today. We are no longer going to dwell on who we used to be but focus on who we are now and who we want to be. I think it was a good lesson today. What future goals could I set for myself? I want to go to a halfway house in Cincinnati when I get out of here to get my life together. I don't want to move in with Dean like he wants me to. I can't just jump from rehab into his home. I might relapse and with our son I can't risk that. I need help outside of here to get back on my feet. I'm going 6 months on a set schedule, taking the meds I need to take, lowering my dosage of methadone little by little and I'm making progress. I love Dean but I can't move in with him. I need structure when I get out of here. I have researched halfway houses in Cincinnati and found one that I love. It will help me get a job. They will take me out to put in applications and help me get work which I know I need a job to take care of my son when I get out of here. I don't want to depend on Dean that would be part of my dependency problem. That's another reason I don't want to live with him either. It makes me dependent and that's when I fall back. I can't afford to fall back not with my son. I need to be independent. I need to provide for my son on my own sure Dean can help but I have to be able to buy him formula, diapers and all that stuff myself and can't expect Dean to do it all for me. I want to get a job on my own so I can do that. They will help me find groups in the area to attend for my addiction problem. They will also allow my son to stay there with me but I have thought about letting Dean have him most of the time and I get him on the weekends. I'm not sure. They will help me get into college and help me get on my feet again and hopefully help me find an apartment for myself and my son. That's one future goal I have. I want to be more independent in life and less dependent. I want to make amends with the people that I have hurt, the people I have stolen from and I want to get closure on this whole issue with Ty and Chris. They took advantage of me and what they did was wrong. I am debating on pressing charges on everything they have done. I have a few years till the statue of limitations runs out. I need to decide on that. I want to get a job as a drug and alcohol counselor. I'm not thinking about love or marriage at the moment. It's about my son and me. I want to be a good mother but most importantly my biggest goal is to remain sober and remain on the right patch. I know that I can and I will do it. It's all about the future and who I want to be. I want to be better than I was, better than I am now. My head is in a good place right now and I want to keep it that way. ~Azzy~_

 _ **May 20, 2015**_

 _I am feeling pretty bittersweet today. Dean and I ended it today. Mike said while Dean is a good guy and he loves me we are both dependent on each other. Mike determined that I had a sex addiction issue due to the life I lived while I was high. The only way I knew how to survive was giving myself up and have sex to feel wanted and to feel needed. It was to help me feel better about myself. It's how I always thought to take care of someone. I love Dean I really do but right now is not the time for us to be together. I am going to give him the respect and have a paternity test when the baby gets here even though he said it's not necessary because whether the baby is his or not he's taking responsibility for it. I'm grateful for that but as the baby grows older and Dean falls more in love with him I don't want Dean to question if that's his son or not. I want him to know the truth. I'm hoping that the baby is his but I was with a lot of people, A LOT of people and I am ashamed. I feel like Dean and I need to take a break for now. I need to focus on getting my life together and focus on getting my shit in order before I think about romance. Mike is right I was dependent on Dean and the only way I felt he could show he loved me and that I loved him was through sex because that's what I knew. I know there's more to love than having sex all the time. I want the real thing someday. If Dean and I are supposed to be together it will happen but right now it's time to take a break. We agreed mutually to end this relationship. It hurts but it needed to be done. He will always be my best friend and be the man that helped me fix my life. I don't know where I would be without him. Mike was concerned with how quickly I gave it up to Dean after we started dating. He said it was the sex that drew us together he suggest that if we end up together again to take it slow, get to know each other and then get intimate. He makes a good point and Dean did not disagree. Dean promised me he would still be here for the baby and for me when I need him but right now that's as far as it goes. It feels sad but good at the same time. I don't know how else to describe it. Life is what it is I guess. You learn something new every day. ~Azzy~_

 _ **June 15, 2015**_

 _I did it! I got my GED! I passed the test. It took months of studying and learning but I did it. I passed the test to get my GED. My next step is looking into community colleges in Cincinnati to go to so I can get my degree to be a drug and alcohol counselor. It feels great to achieve this. I'm proud of myself. I'm doing so much better. Everything in life seems to be falling into place the way it should. Being in rehab has really helped me see who I am and to know what I want out of life. I am still on Methadone but it is down to the lowest dosage so hopefully within in the next couple months I will be off of it and can continue on with my life. I have very little want or need for heroin or any drug. I am proud of the person I am becoming. I have my GED! I'm going to college! I'm becoming better this is what I wanted to do. This is what I wanted. Being here I have made some of the best friends. Jamie was released a couple weeks ago and she has written me a letter. I want to keep in touch with her. We got so close while she was here. I have made some really good friends here and Mike is just awesome. He helped me so much and group has helped me too. I feel so much better. Life feels better. I can't believe that in a couple weeks it will all be over. I'm scared to get out there into the halfway house but I know I can do this. I can stay on the right path and do the right thing. I need to stay on my meds and stay on my schedule. I can do this. I know I can. I didn't think I would get my GED but here I am. I'm so proud of myself. I'm shaping into the woman I want to be. I want to be the best that I can be for my son who is doing very well. He's only measuring a week behind now. I know I will have mountains to face but the biggest mountain has been climbed and conquered. I can climb any mountain that gets in my way. ~Azzy~_

 _ **July 2**_ _ **nd**_ _ **, 2015**_

 _I have officially completed my rehab and I am proud of myself. I am sober and I am proud of myself. I'm still on Methadone and have to remain on it till the baby is born but it's pretty much the lowest dosage I could be on. My body doesn't hurt for the heroin anymore. It's not dependent on it. It doesn't need it and that's what I needed. I'm ready to take on the world. I have applied for community college here in Cincinnati and I start classes in August they are online courses of course but it's better than nothing. I am putting in job applications today so that I can get a job and hopefully someone is willing to hire me even though I am so close to having my son. Dean and I have been talking but only on a friendly basis. He helped me get settled into the halfway house and he is going to the last of the doctor's appointments with me. It sucks that he hasn't been here for most of the pregnancy but the will be here for the biggest part of my pregnancy my delivery. I'm starting to get things prepared for him in my room of the halfway house. Dean bought me a crib and bought a crib for his house. We went baby shopping for clothes and bottles and stuff like that. It's all becoming real. I'm going to be someone's mommy. I knitted him a couple blankets and a couple caps to wear but we bought most of his blankets from the store. I can't wait to meet this little guy. He is going to be the most precious thing in my life. Dean is going to keep him for me the two days he's home from work and I will have him the other 5 days. I can do this. I know that I can. I can't wait till he gets here. I can't wait till I meet this little guy that's been moving around on the inside and the little guy that's been kicking me. I can't wait to see his face and just hold him in my arms. He already makes me want to be a better person. I am ready to start my new life and I am ready to be the new me. It was a lot of work that I don't want to ruin so I'm sticking to the counseling, the therapy, the group meetings and the medication. I just want to be the best mom that I can be to my son. I know the road is long but I am on the road of recovery. ~Azzy~_

 **AUGUST 31, 2015:**

"Come on, Azzy, you can do it," says Dean as he holds my hand as I am in the delivery room getting ready to give birth to my son. "You're almost there."

"It hurts so bad," I scream through the pain. I chose not to have the epidural. I wanted it to be natural. I wanted him to come naturally.

"I know, Azzy, but you're strong, you can do this," he says coaching me through the pain. I squeeze his hand as I scream out in pain. I take a deep breath after the push and then push again with another scream.

"The head is right there," says the doctor. "Do you want to see?" he asks Dean.

"Yes," he says before he looks to see the baby crowning. The doctor shows me and then encourages me to push again.

"Come on, Azalea, give me another push." I squeeze Dean's hand as I push again. "Good," he says as he grabs something to suction out his mouth and nose.

"He's beautiful," says Dean with tears in his eyes. "You're almost there," he says, "Come on, Azzy you can do this."

I let out another push and the cries of my baby boy fill the room. Tears fill my eyes as the doctor shows him to me. He is the most precious thing I have ever seen in my entire life. The doctor places him on my chest in front of me. He's perfect. He's everything I always envisioned. He has the cutest button nose and a head full of dark hair almost black. His pigmentation a little lighter than mine but he is not pale. "Hi," I say with a smile as I look at him as his eyes blink open and he looks at me with his grey eyes. "I'm your mommy," I say, "I'm so glad you're here," I say before the nurse takes him away to clean him up. Dean kisses the top of my head. "He's cute isn't he?"

"Adorable," he says wiping away the tears from his eyes. "He's perfect," he says as he starts to scream. The doctor warned us that he could be addicted and he could experience problems after he was born and sure enough he was addicted and the doctor did what he needed to do to fix him. It breaks my heart knowing that I did this to him. The doctor assures us that it will be fine but it's going to be a long road.

 **THE NEXT DAY:**

The baby was 6lbs. and 10 oz. when he was born just 24 hours ago. He is the most precious thing in my life. He's perfect. He's been with me all night and Dean loves him already. The baby looks at me as I hold him in my arms with his grey eyes and his perfect little face. I have done a lot of bad things in my life and I may have screwed up a lot but bringing this baby boy into the world has been the best thing I have ever done in my life. "Ms. Thomas," says the nurse as she comes into my room as I am feeding the baby.

"Yes?"

"The paternity results are in," she says as Dean comes over to stand next to the bed.

"Remember, Dean, no matter what those results say you are this baby's father," I say. "I just want you to know the truth."

"I know," he says with a soft smile but a hint of nervousness in his voice as he touches my shoulder.

"When it comes to baby boy Thomas, Dean Ambrose there was a 99.9% match that you are his father."

I let out a sigh of relief knowing that Dean is his father. "I'm a daddy," he says with tears in his eyes. "I'm a daddy," he says proudly.

"Yes you are," I say with a smile. "You want to hold him?"

"Yes," he says with the tears in his blue eyes. I hand the baby to him and he cradles him in his arms as he looks down at him and feeds him. I smile at my two favorite guys. Dean remains my best friend and nothing more at this time. Maybe a little further down the road but right now we are good with what we are. He's the father I got pretty lucky after everything that happened in those months and now I can finally keep moving forward and not look back. This is my life now. "I think he needs a name," says Dean with a smile.

"What about Gideon Thomas Ambrose?" I ask.

"Gideon," he says with a smile. "I like it."

"Me too," I say with a smile. "Well, Gideon Thomas Ambrose welcome to the world," I say to my little boy. "I've waited so long to meet you. We both have. You are going to have the best life we can possibly give you. We love you, Gideon," I say before I kiss the top of his head and smile up at Dean as he admires his son. I don't know what's going to happen with Dean and I but what I do know is that we are both going to do whatever we need to do to make sure that Gideon has the best life he can have whether apart or together he's going to have the best life a little boy can have.

 **TO BE CONTINUED**

 ***A/N: What did you think of Azzy's progress in Rehab? Has she come a long way? do you think it was good for her? What did you think about her and Dean breaking up was it the right move for both of them? What do you think about her future goals? What did you think of Dean being the baby's father? Are you happy that it is his baby? What do you think of them naming him Gideon? What do you think will happen for them now?**

 ***A/N: There will be a sequel to this story called Finding The Way. It should be up in a couple days. I just want to thank everyone for reading, reviewing and favoriting this story. I hope that you check out the sequel. Thank-you so much.**


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